Apr. 26th, 2017

tinhuviel: (Default)
In 1992, whilst at a Wiccan retreat, I chanced upon a small maple branch with three offshoots, one of which still had a dried bud, upon the forest floor.  Using the cat gut cord Leigh used to sell at Rainbows and Moonbeams, I affixed a crystal to one of the other twigs, and a crow's feather found the same day in the same vicinity to the longest of the offshoots.  That wand served me well for almost 20 years.  Unfortunately, it was broken in the move out here to San Diego, so I had to get a new wand.  I bought a simple Willow wand from Azure Green, and have been decorating and personalising it for the past month.  It is charged with runes representing air, along with my Craft name in both Theban and Rhyllan.  All symbols and letters were then covered up by various metallic colours, and adorned with a clear quartz crystal point.  To see the wand's details better, click the pic to go to the full sized image.

So, what do you think?  I was pondering on perhaps getting some plain wands in bulk from some provider. Hopefully, Azure Green sells them in bulk.  I will write and ask when I'm ready to proceed...  Anyway, I was considering decorating wands like this and selling them to interested parties.  What say you?  Would it be worth my while to do something like this?  Or should I not even waste my time?

tinhuviel: (Star Trek)

A few minutes ago, the Egg Donor came in talk to me. She invited me not to ride with her and Matt up to Portland, because there's no room for me. She said that, with transporting all the birds, there was just no room for me, Smidgen, Toby, and our stuff.  So I guess I'll be paying a shit ton more money to fly out of San Diego on the 8th of May, instead of Portland a little later in the month.  I told her that was fine, I expected it, that I knew my place, and had known it for quite some time.

"It's one of the main reasons my depression got so out of control," I said to her.  "But that's fine.  I've made my peace with my lack of importance, so I guess that's it."

She just sat there, looking at the floor.  I then asked, "Is there anything else?"  

"No, I guess not," she said, getting up and leaving my room, closing the door behind her.  Apparently, she isn't happy with what I had to say and the frankness with which I said it.  Too bad.  I'm not going to sugar coat my words to ease any discomfort on her part.  Why should I?  She certainly hasn't sugarcoated anything she's said to me in regard to the move and just how unwelcome I truly am.  Oh, well.  They can take their nasty birds and drive off into the sunset, happy as clams.  I don't need them. 

As for me, I'll be just fine, one way or another.  And I'll be so much better in some areas, like being away from the constant reminder that my birth was a huge, huge mistake.  Just being free of Matt's endless unpleasantries is enough to plaster a wide Joker-like grin on my face.  If Aunt Tudi is able to witness how things have gone with the Egg Donor and me over the past four years, I wonder what she thinks of how the Egg Donor fulfilled her promise that she'd help me and be there for me after Aunt Tudi passed, considering some of my health issues, like the seizures.  Maybe if I were the size I was in the accompanying picture, there'd be enough room for me.  Then again, I wasn't much larger than this when she abandoned me the first time, so what-the-fuck-ever.  I'm over it.

August 2017

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