tinhuviel: (Blue Tin)
This is from an article in a newspaper from years back.  I'm transcribing it in order to save it, 'cos it's old as hell, and may get lost in the move.
 
SINGULARITIES
by Scott Lafee
Groups of Animals Are Collected into a Knot of Nouns

The language of biological science is rooted in ancient Greek and Latin, in words like Homo sapiens and Tyrannosaurus rex.  If you're a scientist, this makes good sense because both languages are dead (or comatose at least) and not likely to change.  That means scientific words don't become obsolete.  And new ones can be created as needed by stringing together syllables of different, distinct meaning, the result readily deciphered by researchers from Montana to Mongolia.

But let's face it, there's not much fun in saying Strongylocentrotus droebachiensis, the scientific moniker for the green sea urchin.  Plus, it's damned hard to pronounce.

On the other hand, appellations ascribed to groups of animals, as in a pride of lions, are often inspired, if not well-known.  Herewith, a sampling of some of the more obscure names.  Feel free to clip for future reference, trivial pursuits, and games of Scrabble.
BIRDSMAMMALS
Bitterns - a Sedge
Buzzards - a Wake
Bobolinks - a Chain
Coots - a Cover
Cormorants - a Gulp
Cranes - a Sedge
Crows - a Murder
Doves - a Dule, Arc, or Pitying
Ducks - a Raft, Paddling, or Badling
Eagles - a Convocation or Aerie
Emus - a Mob
Finches - a Charm
Flamingos - a Stand
Geese - a Gaggle or Skein
Grouse - a Pack
Hawks - a Cast, Kettle, or Boil
Herons - a Sedge or Siege
Jays - a Party or Scold
Lapwings - a Deceit
Larks - an Exaltation or Ascension 
Mallards - a Sord
Magpies - a Tiding or Gulp
Nightingales - a Watch
Owls - a Parliament
Parrots - a Company or Pandemonium
Partridges - a Covey
Peacocks - an Ostentation
Pheasants - a Nide, Nye, or Bouquet
Plovers - a Congregation
Quail - a Bevy
Rooks - a Building
Ravens - an Unkindness
Snipe - a Walk or Wisp
Sparrows - a Host
Starlings - a Murmuration
Storks - a Mustering
Swallows - a Flight
Swans - a Bevy or Wedge
Teal - a Spring
Turkeys - a Rafter
Widgeons - a Company
Woodcocks - a Fall
Woodpeckers - Descent
Apes - a Shrewdness
Asses - a Pace
Badgers - a Cete
Bears - a Sloth or Sleuth
Buffalo - an Obstinancy
Camels - a Caravan
Cats - a Clowder or Pounce
Cows - a Kine
Elephants - a Memory
Elk - a Gang
Ferrets - a Business
Foxes - a Leash or Skulk
Giraffes - a Tower
Goats -a Tribe
Hares - a Down or Husk
Hippopotamuses - a Bloat
Hyaenas - a Cackle
Kangaroos - a Troop
Leopards - a Leap
Martens - a Richness
Moles - a Labour
Monkeys - a Barrel
Mules - a Span or Barren
Otters - a Romp
Oxen - a Yoke
Pigs - a Drift, Drove, or Sounder
Polecats - a Chine
Porcupines - a Prickle
Possums - a Passel
Prairie Dogs - a Coterie
Rabbits - a Warren
Raccoons - a Gaze
Rhinoceroses - a Crash
Seals - a Pod
Squirrels - a Dray or Scurry
Tigers - a Streak or an Ambush
Whales - a Gam
Wolves - a Rout
Wombats - a Wisdom
Zebras - a Zeal
INVERTEBRATESFISH
Ants - a Colony
Bees - a Grist or Swarm
Butterflies - a Flutter
Caterpillars - an Army
Cockroaches - an Intrusion
Flies - a Business
Gnats - a Horde
Grasshoppers - a Cloud
Jellyfish - a Smack
Lice - a Flock
Locusts - a Plague
Spiders - a Clutter
Wasps - a Pladge
Barracuda - a Battery
Bass - a Shoal
Goldfish - a Cloud
Herring - an Army
Salmon - a Run
Sharks - a Shiver 
Trout - a Hover
REPTILES AND AMPHIBIANS 
Alligators - a Congregation
Crocodiles - a Bask or Float

Frogs - an Army
Lizards - a Lounge 
Toads - a Knot
Turtles - a Bale or Dole
Rattlesnakes - a Rhumba
 
 
tinhuviel: (Shriekback Logo)

The band have posted an hour-long interview, answering fans' questions. Take a gander, and don't forget to pick up a copy of Without Real String or Fish.

Gratitude

Jul. 8th, 2014 12:08 am
tinhuviel: (Nathor)

There may be people out there who have the impression that I’m a misanthropic asshole with no sense of gratitude.


It’s true, I am a misanthropic asshole, but I am grateful for a lot of things and beings, including people.  I thought it might behove me to step out of “character” for a few minutes and make a list.  So here we go.

cut for courtesy )

1. The Mother Unit - for rescuing me from myself last year, and having more patience with me than I ever would with anyone, including myself.


2. My friends.  Even though I’ve lost a few since 2011, I’ve retained many very important souls in my life, many of which I met here on LJ.  Despite my general dislike for our species, I harbour much fondness for my Tribe.  Many of you stuck with me through the darkest period of my life, often saving my skin and literally saving my life and sanity when I did nothing to deserve such kindness, and there’s really no way I can ever sufficiently repay you for that.  I just hope that I can do something for each of you someday, that might properly express how much you mean to me.


3. Smidgen and Toby.  They cradle my soul like no one else would be willing to, or could.  The unconditional love cats and dogs give us may well be the primary way god/dess is trying to tell us that we aren’t alone, that we count in some way.  Despite my agnosticism, Toby and Smidgen are the ones who keep me from full-on atheism.


4. Music.  Music is the closest thing to the concept of Force that we can get.  I’ve long believed that the multiverse in which we dwell is a song that is still being composed.  It is the purest form of communication, and it is something that every living being expresses in one form or another.  We are all songs, we are the music of creation, we are the mathematics and art of dreams and concepts.


5. Fey Publishing - for taking a chance on me and my strange tales.  My third book will be available soon, thanks to Fey’s original owner, Sophie Childs, and its current sovereign, Kristen Duvall.  Click on their names to learn more about these brilliant women.  I owe them both a great deal, for their initial and continued faith in me, and for their patience as I struggled through my own personal bullfunky to finally get the third Vampire Relics book to Dark Fey’s door.


6. Shriekback, in particular Barry Andrews, for letting me have a ringside seat to their ongoing awesomeness.  Since 1990, they’ve been an almost constant source of inspiration and comfort, soundtracking my life’s highs and lows, and everything in between.  If we lived on Arrakis, I would owe Barry a huge water-debt.


Debut1


7. The Impractical Jokers and The Epic Rap Battles of History.  My entire life, I’ve been a huge supporter of all brands of humour, but my quest for things that would make me laugh became a desperate effort following Aunt Tudi’s death.  Of all the things I explored in my quest for laughter, The Tenderloins (Impractical Jokers) and the guys behind The Epic Rap Battles were the only ones who never failed to bring me a joy that was otherwise almost impossible to find.


8. You Tube and Netflix.  When you don’t have a TV, these two wonderful services are a wonderful, and often preferable, alternative.


9. Dr. Harrington.  Of all the therapists I’ve had over the years, this is the only one I’ve ever felt actually listens to me.  His wry wit, proclivity to play devil’s advocate, and his willingness to swear are just three of many things that impress me about the man.  And he’s a good person, a genuinely good person.


10. The Internet.  When someone asked me how I felt about the Internet back in 1998, I told them that the Internet was the universe’s largest library. You could find out anything by exploring the endless halls of virtual books.  You need only be aware of the pervert at the end of each aisle and act accordingly to avoid them.


11. Sleep.  When you’re a chronic insomniac, the value of sleep increases a thousandfold.  I was never one of those kids who balked at bedtime; I was always a fan of slumber, mainly because of my vast dreamscape.  Being able to achieve lucidity at times only added to the wonder of it all.  After I began suffering from insomnia, those rare occasions where I’d achieve a few hours of really good sleep with a possible bonus of now rare dreams, reached a level of miraculous for me.  I am never not profoundly grateful for sleep.


12. Drum circles.  I’ve always been fond of them, but rediscovering drumming and, in particular, trance drumming, has reconnected me to deity on a level I thought was no longer possible.  There’s something about surrendering to a group rhythm that is both spiritual and therapeutic.  Thankfully, drum circles in San Diego are never on short supply, unlike the Upstate of South Carolina.


13. Earth.  I try to never take my home planet for granted, especially now that my species seems hellbent on destroying the only home we’ve ever known.  In vast expansiveness of the multiverse, this magickal sphere upon which we all live makes it seem more likely than not, that life is more prevalent than we can imagine.  And Earth is teeming with it, in mind-boggling varieties throughout an inconceivable history.  This “pale, blue dot” may be tiny in the scheme of everything, but the planet is unique and precious, a work of divine art, from the towering trees of the Amazon to the majesty of the Smoky Mountains, all resonating with the subtle song of water, that which gives life as we know it.  We have no right to visit so much suffering upon the body and spirit of our galactic mother.  Throughout every day, I am stunned by the miracle of our home, and I grieve for everything that has lost in the wake of our destruction.  I walk through life, grateful to Earth for her presence, and therefore ours, and I hope that my fellow humans and I can find some semblance of forgiveness for our transgressions.

So there it is.  Thirteen things for which I am very grateful.  I’m sure there’s more, but these are the Big Ones in my life, at this moment.  What do you treasure?  For what are you grateful?

tinhuviel: (Devil Smidge)
I've come to a sad, but necessary, decision. It was triggered by talking with The Mother Unit and Matt about their bird friends, whose lifespans are considerably longer than perhaps either one of them have now. I asked them if they'd made any arrangements for the birds, should they die before the birds do. As far as the Mother Unit knows, no solid arrangements have been made.

I am not in the best of health, physically or mentally. Every day, the thought of what will happen to Toby and Smidgen enter my mind. I have made firm arrangements for them, though.

Toby will stay here with Matt and the Mother Unit. Toby adores Matt, and I believe Matt is coming to genuinely love Toby. They get along fabulously. Toby has never been happier than he is here, what with the plethora of cool scents and the abundance of playtime he and Matt have.

I was thinking of having Smidgen returned to South Carolina to live out her days with Janice and Uncle Michael. Janice really loves Smidgen. But my girl-girl turned 10 a couple of months ago, and I think she may be starting to have some kidney issues (I'm taking her to the vet later on this month). The trip back to SC may prove to be too stressful for her, plus, even though Janice has assured me that Smidgen would remain a house cat, I've seen too many animals end up outside, and many dogs end up in cages out behind the house. Smidgen is too old to end up outside, since she's not used to that. So, when I can, I'm taking Smidge up to meet [livejournal.com profile] lyfeinmyhead, and her pooch and kitty, to see how Smidgen interacts with the fur-babies. Smidgen is very laid back. She has never taken issue with any cat or dog. I just want to make sure the cat and dog are amenable to having Smidgen bunk with them, should anything happen to me.

But that's not my sad decision. My sad decision is that, should I outlive Toby and Smidgen, I'm not going to get another pet. It would not be fair to them, if I provide for them a home that they would (I hope) love, then dislocate them from that home in the advent of my death. I'd be bereft, not having a fur-child in my life, but it's selfish of me to take on an animal, who may end up suffering or being "put-down", because I died and left them alone with an uncertain future.

I'll volunteer to help the animals. I'll dogsit and catsit for people, if they need me. But I can't, in all good conscience, possibly add to the suffering of an animal who needs a home. They can all find homes better than the one I would provide. The only exception is, if the Mother Unit and/or Matt arrange for any of the birds to remain with me upon their deaths. I would do that to try to ensure them the life they've always known.
tinhuviel: (Llama!)
I finally found him.

After all these years, it turned out to be a missing 'E' that kept me from contacting him sooner!  Sheesh!

I think the letter is pretty self-explanatory.

Letter to Steve Longenecker )
tinhuviel: (Kelat)
So I'm back in the bosom of the house, even though I'm spending nights at Janice's and Michael's for the next few days. I'm still not very comfortable being by myself for any significant length of time and, considering I have no transportation for a while, that means I'll be imposing myself upon the good will of the aunt and uncle. It makes me consider even more seriously the idea of chucking it all and going to live nearer to the Mother Unit, if she'd have me. I still don't see myself doing such a thing until Chester has made the great journey beyond, though. I would feel it to be a betrayal not only to him, but to Aunt Tudi as well. So that's not gonna happen.

Toby is another matter altogether. Toby is still a youngster and would be the perfect companion to an older single person, or an elderly couple. He's definitely a one-dog canine, being quite territorial and possessive. I have constant problems with him trying to run the other beasties away from what he considers his and his alone - me.

Smidgen, of course, goes where I go. She's my baby. Period. No arguments on that point, even if it means that I remain in this house until my dying day. The only problem I think the Mother Unit would have with Smidgen is that mah Smidge still has her claws. And she always will. I don't believe in de-clawing. Even before I saw the procedure done, I was against the practice. Seeing how it was done and how the animal suffers during recovery makes it eternally verboten in Tin-land. Soft Paws might be an option, though. I deeply doubt that Smidge would want to engage in any serious discourse with the Unit's birds, seeing as how they're all almost her size and meaner than shit, but if she did become interested, Soft Paws would nip that inclination in the bud without any pain felt by anyone.

I made two Tim Roth Tutorials whilst lying in the hospital. Some of the devout followers of the series (Hooligans one and all) were shocked that I would do such a thing when I was feeling so poorly. Well, there wasn't much to do there, but watch television (not good telly either), try to write (which is hard when you're kind of drugged up), or engage in anything remotely meaningful other than trying to heal. I'm not saying the Tutorials have no meaning. Far from it! It's just that they're very easy to make once I know what the lesson is going to be. I've created a template that I use for each one, so it's really just paring down to what scene I need and changing the lesson number, along with wording the lesson just so. The most difficult bit of Tutorial creation is finding the perfect scene and thinking up an appropriate lesson for accompaniment. That's the trickiest bit. One thing that really pisses me off, though, is finding a wonderful Tutorial, but not being able to create it, because the ripped version of the movie turns out to be in French or Martian, or whatever, or it's scrambled beyond all semblance of sanity. What few Lie to Me Tutorials I've been able to make are all blocked worldwide on You Tube. Thank the Mighties for Vimeo! Despite the issues that come along with using that video sharing site, at least Vimeo is more charitable when it comes to free exchange of imagery. But I am babbling. I need to catch up the Cliffs with the current Tim Roth Tutorials before I make any more of them. So stay tuned for that.

Oh, one more thing on The Tutorials; I have announced to the Hooligans that, when I have run out of sufficient Archibald Cunningham footage to create new lessons, the Tim Roth Tutorials will come to a close. I don't think they were thrilled with the idea; however, I still have tons of good material to create more Tutorials, so it's not like the series is ending tomorrow.

Okay, enough of that.

Janice checked my mailbox yesterday and brought me a package from Barry. It contained three or four copies each of Shriekback's Having a Moment, his solo project Haunted Box of Switches, and Stic Basin's self-titled EP. There was a gentleman who expressed more than a rabid interest in Haunted Box, which Barry was all too gracious to share after I told him what the fellow had said. I am going to try to sell the other copies and send B the fundage I may get from such a venture. We shall see. One thing I do need t find out, though; the titles of the Stic Basin songs. I had them on my old iTunes before the computer was pulverised by Sprite. I was not so lucky with the retrieval of everything for iTunes, and that included the Stic Basin tracks. Soooo...I'm gonna have to ask him about that.

Now I am wondering if I should try to write anything of substance (as if that ever happens!) or just surf the web whilst listening to groove-ass songs, like the one playing on iTunes right now. What? "Party Man" by Prince, Joker's original theme song, and rightfully so, yo. "Why So Serious" is an epic theme, don't get me wrong. But "Party Man" so perfectly fits Joker, even Nolan's interpretation. Speaking of Nolan and Batman, it had been the plan to drive up to Concord and have a date with [livejournal.com profile] janalyson to see The Dark Knight Rises. That was pretty much tanked when I had the seizure in particular, but was indefinitely round-filed when the advent of my unexpected hospitalisation. I just hope my unfortunate travel-destroying misfortunes have not ruined [livejournal.com profile] janalyson's chances of seeing the flick on the silver screen. I've heard that's the only effective way of TDKR, preferably in an IMAX theatre. Here's hoping she and Jennifer are able to make it. As for me, I'll hopefully be able to see it when it comes out on video. If we all haven't been eradicated by the Alpaca Lips, I shall check it out then. If we are rendered extinct, it really won't matter in the end, anyway. Win-Win, as I see it.

Okie-Day, I think that's all I have for now. I'm off to either try to write, or make merry on The Intarwebz. Or I may snag a flick off Netflix, god bless 'em for their mere existence... 'Night 'Night.
tinhuviel: (Sith Tin)
We are having a major thunderstorm here right now. The animals are climbing me like I'm a fire fighters' ladder. And it's starting to piss me off. I feel for them, I really do. But being the only person here now is pernear impossible to tolerate when you look like you're dripping fur, so many animals are on you like freckles.

I am watching X-Men First Class. On TV. I have the DVD. This is something I do when I really like a movie, and I don't know why. My first guess is that it's a mental defect. All that aside, I grow increasingly fond of the Magneto character each time I see this flick. I completely understand why he established the Brotherhood of Mutants, considering he and his entire family had been sorely abused by the Krauts for being Jews. A Jewish Mutant? That's perfect reason to want to kick everyone's ass forever. I'm with him 100%. And I am particularly fond of X-Men First Class. I may even like it better than X-Men 2: X-Men United. That one seriously rocked. X-Men First Class may actually have too much eye candy in it, though. I mean, really, James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender? That's just wrong...in a completely right sort of way.

I am supposed to call the DMV to see if they got the lien release from Capital One. Onyx Acceptance, which handled my car loan for the ION never updated their records despite my paying off the loan (early no less!) and getting my original title. The insurance company couldn't use that title and I found out why yesterday. So I don't have my money for a new car, and I have to turn in the rental today. I'm hoping to get this lien hoo-ha straightened out today and the the proper paperwork overnighted to Nationwide, so they can e-transfer the settlement funds to my bank tomorrow.

But I'm looking at being stranded for at least the weekend. Diane and Bobby are going to help me hunt for a new car as soon as I have the cash in my hands.

In other news, I have decided that folding laundry is against my religion. I'm right now taking a break from folding three basket loads of the devil fabric. But I must get back to it. So...good bye.
tinhuviel: (Dr. Who Boogie)
tinhuviel: (Bible)
In honour of the Rapture, I present to you the Jesus Christ Lizard. May he bless and keep you.

tinhuviel: (Ace Ventura)
Todd sent this to me. When the nuclear Alpaca Lips happens, roaches, Keith Richards, and Crazy Nastyass Honey Badgers will be the only ones to survive. Bank on it.

tinhuviel: (Cymru)
From Receiving Social Security Payments While Living Abroad.

The U.S. Federal Reserve Bank of New York and several central banks around the world have agreed to provide an international direct deposit service. This service allows the transfer and conversion of U.S. social security benefits to a foreign bank free of the various charges; the Social Security Administration picks up the tab. The countries that currently participate in this international direct deposit service (also called electronic benefit transfer) are: Argentina, Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Norway, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, and the United Kingdom.

Also, this good news from [livejournal.com profile] theafaye regarding muh beasties.

Look into the vaccine issues for your animals because you might not need to quarantine them. Although I didn't bring my cat over, he did have his rabies shots and basically what you do is give them two rabies jabs (to make sure the antibodies are high enough) and then five weeks later have a blood test done to show that they have enough anti rabies antibodies (you might get away with just one jab but you might not and if you don't get them high enough you have to have a second jab so it's more expensive to take the gamble). Six months after that blood test they can travel with no quarantine and a pet passport. It might be different from the States, but it's worth checking because they're always changing the law and if you can avoid quarantine for your animals, all the better.

And it'd be great to have you as a neighbour. :)
tinhuviel: (Star of David)
After Fitzgerald, it looks like Sheba's Cushing's Disease is getting worse. We take her on Monday to see what her situation is and if it's time to let her go. If so, we'll be down to three dogs and both of us will be heartbroken 'cos Sheba is Aunt Tudi's dog. I sill have faith that 2011 will be better than 2010, though. That should be a testament to how sucky 2010 truly was.

It never rains without pouring... usually buckets of tears.

Impossible

Jun. 26th, 2010 06:46 am
tinhuviel: (Have a Nice Day)
I got up at the crack of dawn in order to get some proofreading done. Who should get up with me but Aunt Tudi, who wants to chit-chat about what-the-fuck-ever. Guess who can't get any proofreading done?

It's days like this I wish I lived alone. There's so much I could get done if I weren't being a door person to 500 animals or being a sounding board to inane chatter about nothing that interests me in the least. I think this is where my Inner Sociopath comes in, 'cos I can see Aunt Tudi shying away from me just from my looking at her when she starts to talk. To me, it's nothing but a blank stare but, to her, I guess it's a predatory gaze. I must admit, I'm having predatory thoughts. I want to be left alone. I want to get what I need to do done, and she's standing in my way. Her and all these animals.

It's on days like this I want my insomnia back. At least then I'm able to get what I need to do done without being bothered with ridiculous prattle or the menagerie wanting crap every other minute.
tinhuviel: (Devil Smidge)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

Personally I believe the animals are the actual guardians and not the other way 'round. I've been using the term "companion" ever since I was a member of PETA back in the day. That's one of the few things that stuck. Thankfully the crazy did not. Or did it? Anyway, I think "guardian" is a misleading term, not so much as "owner," but still misleading. But this is coming from a woman who has a Chihuahua companion that dresses up as a nun called "Sister Ubiquita of Our Lady of the Fuzzy Knuckles" and has Doubt.
tinhuviel: (Joker_Blogs_Dude)
Click the J-Otter for the explanation.

Photobucket

I've rested my case. It's Miller Time!
tinhuviel: (Caveman)
[Error: unknown template qotd]The owl has long been my primary animal spirit, but the bear was revealed as a strong influence in my life back in 1993.  The bear, Artio in particular, is quite evident in every aspect of my life.  I tend to be quite protective of my Tribe and, at the same time, inclined to rip strangers or especially offenders from limb to limb.  Also, I really just would prefer to be left alone to do my thing.  That's not usually possible, which provokes my seemingly perpetual grumpiness.

Don't fuck with the Great Bear Mother.  No day is a good day to do that.  She'd just as soon kill you as look at you.

Bendieth y Mamau

Deer

Oct. 30th, 2008 09:37 pm
tinhuviel: (Herne_Moon)
I almost hit a deer on my way home from work tonight. I can't be certain that I didn't clip it, but there's no way to know. I'm not sure if what I heard was the squealing of my tires or the cry of the deer.

I'm a wreck. A nervous, freaking wreck. And I'm so worried about that deer, I don't know what to do with myself.
tinhuviel: (Smidge and Tin September 2008)
The lady with whom I work the closest at Sally Foster is a fellow animal lover. A day doesn't go by without Amy telling me the intrepid tales of Flossie the Bull Terrier and Willard the Scottie. She's an absolute joy to be around.

The other day, though, Amy got off the phone with her brother in tears. She'd just found out that her brother's cat, a Katrina rescue by the name of Blaze (because he was found on the roof of a burning house), had cancer and needed to be euthanised. Amy is very tender-hearted and can't deal with stuff like this, not when it comes to animals. She was quiet for a time, then she piped up and said, "Tracy, let me ask you a question. Do you believe that there's a heaven for animals?"

Amy knows that I'm a Witch, or a Wiccan, as that's the term with which she's most familiar. I guess she sensed that I'm also more comfortable serving in the Crone aspect of the Goddess, given her question seemingly from left field. I wasn't prepared for such a question and had honestly never really developed a concrete theory about animals and the afterlife, just feeling that they go through essentially the same cycle that we humans do. Something in her question triggered the Crone within me, though, and I shared with her this theory:

I told her that I believed that there's a heaven more so for animals than for humans because animals are essentially more pure in spirit. Humans have a lot of issues with which to deal, most of it of our own making. Animals come to this plane to do whatever they came to do, then return to that place of spirit to wait on their humans to get our shit together so we can stop reincarnating and join them in the spiritual realm. She seemed comforted by this, but asked if I ever thought that animals ever returned to the physical realm. Unequivocally yes! I think that animals spirits can connect to human spirits to the extent that they choose to return to the Earth plane to be with that human. I told her about Smidgen and how she is supernaturally so alike to Henry and Toque before him, even "patty-caking" to get whatever it is she wants when we never taught her to do this, but did teach Henry, who was a dog and keen to learn goofy tricks like that. Smidgen came to us as a five-week-old kitten, patty-caking her way to indulgence, this behaviour imprinted on her seemingly at birth. I have no other way to explain this than the animal spirit that manifested as Toque and Henry returned to the human spirit with whom it's bonded. I'm assuming that the spirit that's now known as Smidgen will continue to walk the life path with me as long as I'm reincarnating to try to get my own shit together. I'm hoping that this special spirit doesn't tire of my inability to learn and grow beyond the trappings of this plane, leaving me to my own devices to return to the spirit realm where it belongs.

Although I'm very sorry for Amy's family and I feel their pain in their loss of Blaze, I'm thankful to Amy for making me think about the role of animals in this and other planes of existence. I'm kind of ashamed that I'd never thought about it before, but I'm only human and about as far from perfect as any human can be.

Angels

Oct. 18th, 2008 05:47 pm
tinhuviel: (Yay....)
Yesterday at the dollar store, this elderly man came up and asked me where the raw-hide dog sticks were. I directed him to the right place, then went about my business of checking people out. A few minutes later, the man came up with two different packages of raw-hide treats. He asked me which ones I'd get, and I said that I'd get both, just to give the dog some variety. He laughed and said it sounded like I was an animal lover like him. I told him yeah and filled him in on how many dogs and cats I had. When I told him that I currently had 10 cats, he was flabbergasted and asked me about it. I explained that I did cat rescue and had had around 30 cats at one point. I told him that I tamed the feral ones, got them their shots, and had them spayed or neutered before finding them a new home. He commented that it had to be expensive and I told him that, yes, it was expensive, but I did the best I could, especially in the current economic climate. Then I told him the joke I shared with someone else a week or so ago, saying that, if things didn't get better, I'd have to eat my cats instead of feed them. He laughed at that, then asked where the cat food was. I told him that it was on the same aisle as the dog treats and that I'd hold his bag if we wanted to go back and look at what we have. He thanked me and walked back to the pet food section of the store. I continued to check out customers. About 10 or so minutes ago, the old man returned and I handed him his bag. When he took it, he placed some money in my hand and said, "Buy your cats some food. You're a good person to do what you do, so here's something to help you out." I was the one who was flabbergasted at this. I thanked him as he left. When there was a lull in the parade of customers, I checked out what he'd given me. It was $3.00.


Today, again at the dollar store, this elderly lady hobbled up to the cash register with a cart full of merchandise. She was bare-footed, because her shoes hurt her, and had a stream of dried drool coming from the left corner of her mouth. She apologised for falling in the bra section and making a mess of the bras. I asked her if she was okay, and she said that she was, but she need desperately to sit down and was unable to empty her cart so I could scan her stuff. I told her that she could sit on the bag carousel and I'd unload her cart for her. While the line backed up, I unloaded the lady's cart, then scanned her stuff while she sat on the bag carousel. When I was close to finished, she got up so I could bag her merchandise and she could pay. She paid with her debit card, but was slower than an inebriated slug in doing it. The line got longer. Once she was finished paying with her debit card, I handed her her receipt and held open the door so she could find her way out of the store. By then, my manager Tami had come up and opened the second register to help me check out the backed up customers. She didn't seem very happy about it. I told her about the old lady being unable to do anything and how it got me behind. She was still unimpressed. She's a manager, which means that she has had her capacity for compassion annihilated by the corporate office. Anyway, I checked out a couple more people and the third person, upon paying with her debit, found a debit card left behind by somebody else. I looked at it, then realised that it was the old lady's card. She was the only one prior to my current customer who had used debit. I informed Tami about the card and placed it on our table between the two cash registers. Then I checked out a couple more customers. Upon a lull in the customers, I looked outside and saw that the old lady was still in the parking lot, sitting in her car talking on the phone. I told Tami I was gonna take her debit card out to her, then out the door I went. When I tapped on the old lady's drivers-side window, she lowered it and asked what was wrong. I told her that she'd left her debit card and handed it to her. She started crying, saying that I'd been so good to her in the store, that I was an angel, and she pulled me through the open window and gave me a hug. And then she proceeded to talk as hard as she could about her health problems, how she had torn menisci in both knees, how she was eaten up with arthritis, and how she'd had multiple sclerosis for about 20 years before realising she had it. She showed me the pain patch she had on her left arm, and told me about how that and medicine for fibromyalgia were the only things that allowed her to walk. She was the type of person who talked in a manner that wouldn't allow you to get a word in edgewise. I was out there for a good fifteen minutes, listening to this woman pour her heart out to me. Then I told her I had to go back to work. She hugged me again and reiterated that I'd been an angel to her, that god put angels on the Earth to watch over and help others, and that I was one of those angels. When I finally made it back into the store, Tami was beyond unimpressed. She gave me some pretty dirty looks in between checking out customers. Once we were caught up, she left me without so much as a "see you later, cashier scum!"

But this got me to thinking, what the old lady said about angels. Maybe that old man was an angel, sent to me to say "You're doing good. Don't stop, no matter what happens. Help will come from the most unexpected sources." It almost makes me feel mildly hopeful.
tinhuviel: (Bitch'n'moan Thursday)
Besides seeing a huge influx of motorcycles and mopeds on the roads, another mode of transportation has enjoyed a recent resurgence in popularity in these here parts: equine mobility! Horses have become so popular, as a matter of fact, hitching posts are popping up hither and yon. One such post can be found at the Waffle House on Highway 29 between Lyman (a town near Duncan) and Spartanburg. On our way back from Dr. Pilch's office yesterday, I stopped to do a fashion shoot for the horses hitched there.

whinny, neigh, and whicker, man! )

Now I'd feel better about this if there were a drinking trough at the hitching post. I didn't see any feed bags around either. And it'd be dandy if the hitching post were located in a shadier spot. This is, after all, the Armpit of Hell in July. A little shelter from that yellow ball of terror in our skies is the least these horses' people could provide for them after the horses hauled their round primate arses over for some scattered, smothered, and covered spuds. Vigilance needs to be the byword of any animal rights advocate in these times when our fellow Earthlings are exploited by us humans in our quest to get from here to there without having to spend half a pay check for fossil fuel.

Angel

Jul. 17th, 2006 08:34 pm
tinhuviel: (Devil Smidge)
There's something I forgot to write about regarding my admissions meeting. The admissions officer looked at my application and saw that my major was going to be veterinary assistance. She commented with a favourable vocalisation, then asked if I liked animals.

"Yes," I said. "You could say that."

"Do you have any pets?"

"Oh yeah. I have 3 dogs and over 30 cats."
"WHAT?" She said, giving me that 'this woman is a crazy cat lady' expression.

"I've had animal rescue status with my vet's office for about 10 years because I take in stray cats and try to find homes for them. If I can't, I just take care of them and make sure they're fed and happy."

"Do they all live indoors?"

I explained to her that, no, they were feral and I only placed the tame ones. She then asked how on Earth I could feed all of them, to which I responded, "Well, it's kind of hard, especially when you're unemployed, but I get by."

"Well, you must be one of those animal angels. There are plenty of angels on Earth, mainly people angels, but you're definitely an animal angel."

"Well, thanks for saying that. I do love animals, so I decided to follow my heart and do something that would allow me to work with them."

"I think you've made a wise choice."

She then proceeded to tell me that the veterinary program at Greenville Tech will probably expand with the completion of the new campus, if the program was favourably received. So there's hope that, before I finished my assistance program, they may very well have a vet tech program with which I can proceed. Then two of the three hurdles before me on my way to the Veterinary Doctor goal will be scaled successfully. I shall then rule the world and my cat friends will enforce all the laws of the land with sharp claws and teefies. Amen.
tinhuviel: (Shmoop)
It was the dead of night. I spied a teentsy spider in a perfectly-formed web on the front porch and I wanted to get a picture of it, if I could. Because of the filigree nature of the web and the smallness of the spider, I was unsuccessful. Before I went in, however, I decided to point the camera into the back yard and see what I came up with. At night, the back yard is like a black hole. There is no light whatsoever. One has no idea what could be sitting nearby, giving you the hairy eyeball in the night. So I pressed the button on the camera and the flash went off, exposing.......SVEN!

Yes, it's SVEN! )
During Sven's photo shoot, I learnt that opossums do not lap up water, they slurp it. Opossums have no dining manners at all. I bet they even wipe their mouths on their arm sleeves instead of using the cloth napkin.

I then came in, thrilled with my photie goodness, only to find Aunt Tudi imparting top secret information to Shmoop, our little Spy Kitty. I snapped a picture of them for future evidence.

caught in the act )
tinhuviel: (Smidgen)
I'm needing to get the cats straight. There've been some changes over the past few months, so the last list of felines is no longer valid. For shits and giggles, I'm including the dogs and opossums as well.

Dogs

  • Winchester Napoleon (Chester) -- Yorkshire Terrier

  • Riley -- Dachsund/Scottie mix (Bratwurst on legs)

  • Sheba -- Bassett/Cocker mix


Indoor Pride

  • Smidgen -- Ginger Manx (half-tail that doesn't work)

  • Shmoop -- Full Tabby (she thinks she's a dog)

  • Motley -- Tortoiseshell Manx (no tail at all, she looks like a bear)

  • Foley -- Pastel Calico (a big brute of a cat named after Dave Foley)


Outdoor Pride

  • Theodore -- Ginger Manx (half-tail that does work, mostly tame, will eventually become part of the Indoor Pride)

  • Aloysius -- Long-hair Tabby (broken jaw that's healed wrong. He gets a lot of canned food now. Partially tame, we're working on getting him indoors as well, and getting his jaw fixed)

  • Sluggo -- Surly black cat with flat ears, flat eyes, and flat face (grandfather cat, retired from the competition, named after Ron White's bulldog)

  • Goldie -- Tortoiseshell Manx (half-tail that does work, mostly feral but she will allow me to pet her on occasion)

  • Agro -- Tabby cat with orange spot on her head (Shmoop's mama, mostly feral).

  • Festus -- Tabby cat with a bad eye (Shmoop's daddy, mostly feral, will tolerate petting, but will then turn on you and bite you. Schizophrenic).

  • Joe -- Young Tabby Tom. (follow's Theo's lead and will let me pet him)

  • Flakes -- Solid white cat (totally feral)

  • Moo -- Mostly white with black spots (looks like the Gateway cow, totally feral)

  • Speck -- Long-haired black cat with one one white speck between his eyes (totally feral)

  • Biafra -- Pastel Calico with one bad ear thanks to a hematoma (mostly feral)

  • Iggy -- Ginger cat with very unusual eyes and herpes (50% feral)

  • Hook -- Tabby and Tortoiseshell Manx (half-tail with a hook, it does work, mostly tame)

  • Bagheera -- Calico Tabby Long-hair (mostly tame, very hateful to the other cats)

  • Spiteful -- Ginger kitten (beat the crap out of me the first time I encountered him. He's calmed down a lot now)

  • Norvus -- Ginger kitten (very young. He will be tame. Goldie's son. She brought him and his siblings to me)

  • Scrumpy -- Norvus' sister, Tabby (she'll also be tame)

  • Shades -- Another brother, soft grey with three dark grey stripes on his rump (another tame one)

  • Ghost -- Another sibling, indeterminate gender as this one is a bit feral. Mostly black, long-hair, possibly a Tortie, but I can't be certain.
  • Jolsen -- Yet another sibling, also black. Looks like s/he is wearing black face; thus, the name (for Al Jolsen).

  • Zsa Zsa -- Long-haired Tortoiseshell. Very elegant. (Mostly feral)
  • Gotrocks -- Long-haired black. Also very elegant. (Totally feral)
  • Caeser -- Tabby and white male, Festus' primary rival (totally feral)

  • Autumn -- Tortoiseshell and white (Motley's full-tailed sister, mostly feral)


Opossums

  • Sven -- big opossum. I assume he's male.

  • Helga -- smaller opossum, camera ho. I assume she's female.


Rest in Peace

  • Jacob -- She disappeared without a trace.

  • Blueberry -- She disappeared without a trace.

  • Lynx -- He was squooshed by some heartless asshole in a car. He was the most beautiful cat I've ever seen in my life. His name describes his appearance.



Of all the members of the Outdoor Pride, I have hope of finding homes from Spiteful, Norvus, Shades, and Scrumpy. They're all very young and already quite responsive to human presence. All four allow me to pick them up and give them medications. Like every child of Goldie's and Agro's they came to me with funky eyeballs and a runny nose, so they're on the normal regimen of Amoxil drops and erythromicin eye goo. By the time they're ready to be placed, they'll be healthy and happy, totally tame kittens.

On a related note, I got a great buy on cat food at Bi-Lo. They had 18 pound bags of Kit-n-Kaboodle for $5.00 a bag, almost $4.00 off a bag. So I got three bags. That should hold the hungry little buggers for two or three weeks. They aren't eating as much as they were 'cos it's too damned hot to eat. They sure are sucking up the water though. Aren't we all?
tinhuviel: (Alrighty then)
The boss has the heads of two bucks on his office walls. I feel like Ace Ventura in When Nature Calls: "This is a lovely room of death. Okay then, byb-bye now."

Timothy would cream his panties at the sight, I just know it.
tinhuviel: (Shmoop)
I had to run a quick errand and, whilst in the car, I got to thinking about all the nicknames the animals that live with me answer to. Why I subject them to such torment and why they put up with it is beyond me.

Nickname Database
The Core Group

  • Chester (Full registered name is Winchester Napoleon): Nappy, Asshole, Chester-butt, Chesterkins, Chester the Molester, Rat with a Hippie Wig, Shithead

  • Foley (Full name is Foley Buddha): Foley-butt, Wide-Ass, Tank, Brute, Bully, Butt-Butt

  • Motley (Full name is Motley Dot): MotDot, Dot, Mot, Stubby-butt, Squeaker, Motlums

  • Riley (Full name is Riley as far as I know. He came pre-named): Riley-dog, Demento Dog, O'Riley, Schizo Dog

  • Sheba (Full name is Sheba. She also came to us pre-named): Eyeball, Dummy, Sheblit, Sheebie, Ugly

  • Shmoop (Full name is Shmoop ~ sweet and simple): Shmooples, Shmoopus, Shmoopster, Shmoopy-pants, Scamper-pants, Whiny-butt, Bubbeleh, Shmoople-poopeleh

  • Smidgen (Full name is Smidgen): Smidge, Smidge-butt, Muscle-butt, Smidgels, Yellow-belly, Angel Face, Angel Baby, Silly-butt

The Outdoor Pride

  • Lynx: Lynxie, Lynxie-butt

  • Theodore: Theo

  • Iggy: Iggums, Iglet

  • Aloysius: Al, Big Al

  • Zsa Zsa: Glamour-puss


I haven't given many nicknames to the members of the Outdoor Pride because I haven't been exposed as much to their personalities, seeing as how they're feral and refuse to let me "in" very far. It's probably for the best, because my assignment of nicknames has reached the level of absurd.

Sundry

Mar. 18th, 2006 08:32 pm
tinhuviel: (Sith Tin)
Paul Goodloe has the jawbone of an ass. The man seriously needs to have it shaved down with a Craftsman sander. It bothers me that I even have opinions about The Weather Channel's meteorologists. This is a sign that I'm aging without a shred of grace. That and my obsession with Law & Order. When I told Todd the other night that I watched Law & Order on a regular basis, he howled with horror and declared me officially old.

My big cushy Sony "Quality Assurance"-style headphones fit iGor. This makes me very happy 'cos the ear buds hurt my mutant ears. I'm listening to my Vampire Mix and preparing to work on the second draft of The Chalice.

I want a hamburger with nothing on it but mayonnaise. I used to eat these luscious sammiches on a regular basis when I was a wee tot. It'd be nice to have one right about now.

One of the animals is suffering from Explosive Flatulence. I swear to the god that, if I get another whiff of this hellish gas, I am going to be stricken blind and then perish soon thereafter. It's making me want to roll around on the floor and screech like Ethel Merman on a helium/LSD combo. Everything is not coming up roses.

The Father Unit has gotten into the habit of calling Aunt Tudi's cell phone if he finds me online. If he continues this poor behaviour, I will be forced to hook up my cell phone charger and insert the charging end into his chocolate whiz-way until he lay dead from the electricity coursing through his body. It will be a slow and uncomfortable demise, greatly resembling my cell phone bill. Amen. He offers to pay his portion of the bill but, really, I'd be rude to let him do that. I'd rather just kill him.

I have been bitten by a flea. Mosquitoes to follow shortly.
tinhuviel: (Dog o'Doom!)
Henry Herman was my very best friend for 16 years. He was a blue tick beagle who had this perpetual expression of peevishness that endeared him to almost everyone who ever had the privilege and honour to meet him. Like any dog, though, Henry had his moments, especially when he was a youngster. One such moment occurred when he was right at two years of age.

It was early in the morning and I was heading out to work. At that time, I had just gotten the yard totally fenced and installed cattle gates through which I could drive my car. It was a brilliant idea, I thought, to have the car parked inside the fence. Henry thought it was brilliant too 'cos he had all this room to run around in. He was so thrilled that he wanted to stay outside the night before and listen to the call of the wild, so to speak.

So, anyway, I went out to the car and tried to start it. Nothing. I tried again. Nothing. I called Timothy and told him I'd be a little late, that I was having car trouble. Janice took me on to work and Granny & Aunt Tudi called Joe Rogers, our mechanic at that time, to ask him to bring us a battery, 'cos that's what we figured was the problem. Yes, Joe made house calls for his favourite customers. I miss that man....

Joe came out with the battery and installed it. He tried to crank the car and there was.....nothing. Right about that time, Henry trotted up to Joe with a wire in his mouth. Joe took it from the crazy beagle and inspected it. He then stooped and looked under the car where there were strewn a multitude of chewed wires of varying length. In his boredom during the night Henry had proceeded to chew all the wiring out from under my car. D'Oh! So Joe went back to his garage to get supplies and returned to rewire the entire underbelly of my sorely abused vehicle. While he worked, he suggested to Granny that we smear the underside of the car with Texas Pete sauce as that would keep Henry away from it.

"First you should give him a piece of bread soaked in Texas Pete. It'll burn his mouth, but it won't hurt him seriously, just enough to make him want to stay away from it."

So Granny got a piece of bread and doused it with Texas Pete. She gave it to Henry, who was a total whore when it came to food. He ate it enthusiastically while Granny, Aunt Tudi, and Joe watched in anticipation of smoke coming out of my precious pup's ears as he ran to the water bowl. But it didn't happen that way. Instead, Henry licked his lips and sat up on his back legs asking for more. Again....D'Oh!

So I bought more fencing and had the cattle gates relocated to section off a parking area separate from the rest of the yard. This way Henry couldn't get to the car, but he still had all sorts of room in which to scamper about and bury his rawhide bones. For years after that incident, neighbours would come up with various wires and ask me if my dog needed a special treat. I told them only if it were garnished with hot sauce, thanks.

Har dee har har.
tinhuviel: (Owl)
There's a reason why I'm so obsessed with saving animals. It's a reason steeped in thousands of generations of a long Jewish tradition: Guilt. That's not the only reason why I go out of my way to help the beasties. I do love them all very much and I think they have more of a right to live than we humans do. But guilt is always present as well.

When I was 5 years old, the Mother Unit brought home a baby blue jay that had not yet sprouted the feathers it needed to fly. It had apparently fallen out of the nest too soon and the Mother Unit didn't think the parents would be able to protect it. Knowing what I know now, I think that they would have continued to take care of it and protect it as best they could until that time it could fly. Either way, here was this baby blue jay. The Mother Unit bade me feed it every half hour and she made up this concoction comprised primarily of soaked bread. I did pretty well for a while until I got tired of doing it and decided I wanted to watch cartoons instead. I watched two episodes of The Flintstones, then remembered I hadn't fed the bird in over an hour. I ran out to the front porch to find the baby blue jay dead on the floor of the cage.

The Mother Unit was not pleased. And I was grief-stricken. I felt so incredibly guilty and, to this day, I think of that blue jay every time I'm called upon to help an animal in distress. In a way, I feel like I'm doing penitence for the life I helped to end and I've been doing it now for 33 years.
tinhuviel: (Owl Stare)
One day back in the early 90s I was driving down one of the many back roads that comprise Duncan when I spied a mourning dove in the middle of my lane. I ran over it, straddling it with my tires, so I could get to a spot where I could park and go rescue the bird. I was about two feet away from it when it looked at me and snickered evilly (well, that snicker was in my imagination, but the bird was fucking evil), then flew off. Right about that time a pick-up truck rounded the corner and almost turned me into road kill.

To this day, I carry a special resentment for mourning doves. That won't stop me from trying to save one if it's in trouble, but I'll think twice before playing in the road again.
tinhuviel: (Owl)
As I sit here with Motley asleep across my legs and Foley draped over the back of the couch and licking my face, I thought I'd commit to memory some true animal stories in my life. I want to start with something that happened back in 1996.

In order to set this up, I have to talk about our Quality Assurance office in the building that hosted Readers Digest and Special Products. When Timothy came into our department, he decided that we needed better soundproofing for our office in that particular building. So he put up cork board all over the walls and covered that with a fuzzy cloth wallpaper. It did wonders blocking out the sound of the loading dock where the office was. During that time, I spent half my time in the Special Markets building and the other half in the Distribution building. Everyone in both buildings knew I had this thing about taking care of animals. I'd nursed a couple of birds back at work, I'd rescued a dog and a cat, and I captured a mouse and took it outside before anyone had a chance to kill it.

One week, when I was working in Special Markets, I got a call from the ladies on the Distribution dock. They said that a bird had been caught in the warehouse and that it looked a bit ill, they were sending via shuttle over to me in an audio cassette box. A few minutes later I got a delivery I never expected. It was a female ruby-throated hummingbird and she lay there like a sick bumblebee. I left her in the office and ran up to the break room to make up some sugar water and get some red swizzle sticks. During my constant research on wild birds, I'd read years before that hummingbirds have to feed at least every thirty minutes or they would become hypoglycemic and possibly die. I rushed back to the office and began feeding the wee bird the sugar water through the swizzle stick. Hummingbirds eat with their tongue, which looks like a tiny thread. This little lady drank enthusiastically and I gave her all she wanted. I did this every ten minutes or so and noticed that she was perking up a bit. Within 40 minutes, she was quite alert and perched on my index finger. Why I allowed her to perch still baffles me. I was an idiot! After perching there for just a few seconds, the hummingbird shot straight into the air and flew around the office faster than the speed of light. I panicked. What on Earth was I gonna do? It then occurred to me that I'd read somewhere that birds will go to sleep when it gets dark. I turned off the office lights and waited for a couple of minutes, then I turned on the flashlight that Tim kept in the office and began hunting for the hummingbird. I found her attached to the wall sound asleep. She was able to perch on the wall because it was so fuzzy. Climbing up on my desk and carefully peeling her off the wall, I gave the hummingbird one last swizzle of sugar water, then took her outside. She perched on my finger for a couple of seconds, then launched herself into the air and away from the warehouse.

So that was a pretty cool experience.
tinhuviel: (Quoi?)
Yesterday we had a pot roast and invited Llew over for a nosh. Today Aunt Tudi is feeding the cats beef fat. I keep telling her that cats don't eat cow, they're too big. All cats can do with cows is nibble at their hooves and get kicked in the head for their trouble. When I told Aunt Tudi this, I realised that I can't say "hoof" without emulating the way Patsy Stone says it in the "Morroco" episode of Absolutely Fabulous. Edina is telling Saffy that the Moors didn't have toilet paper before the more "civilised" Brits came to enlighten them. She asked Saffy: "Do you know what they used before we came?" (that's paraphrased....I may be incorrect in the quote) And then Patsy piped up and said: "Old bits of hoof." That's pronounced hooooof, long "o," not huhff. Ever since, I say hoooooof, long "o."

It's like the word "speed." I have to say it with a French accent, like "speeeedddddddd," thanks to Eddie Izzard. [livejournal.com profile] clumsycake is in the same boat. We get together and talk about the movie Speed and we sound like a couple of Parisian whores.

In other news, [livejournal.com profile] das_prompt was good enough to announce the confirmation of the existence of bootlegging primates. This reminds me of a show I saw back in the late 70s. It was a National Geographic show on PBS (pre-Cable for you whippersnappers) about the inhabitants of the African Savannah. During the wet and fertile season, all the animals (both predator and prey) would gather at the water hole to enjoy having water. The trees around the water hole would have fruit that had fermented on the branch. All the herbivores and omnivores would partake of this fruit and have a drunken party while the carnivores would roll around in the water and essentially laugh at them all. I'm not lying. I clearly remember seeing inebriated giraffes and monkeys yucking it up together. If there'd been a tattoo parlour around, these critters would have gotten inked. All in all, it was a feelgood moment for all the animals, and the only time they all got along before going back to killing, being killed, and feuding over water rights. Bornean apes apparently don't have to worry about waiting until the right season when the fruit will ferment in the trees. They make their own brew and raise their own roofs.

Pictures

Feb. 12th, 2006 02:03 pm
tinhuviel: (Molina)
First, an explanation. [livejournal.com profile] aunt_tudi is 61 and hurtling headlong into her second childhood. She's become enamoured with bubbles because Johnna's kids are into bubbles, and Aunt Tudi digs having bubble parties with them. I don't attend for obvious reasons... So, while we were in Asheville last week, I got her a bubble machine at Morrisons. It's battery-powered and blows bubbles like nobody's business.

Last night, Aunt Tudi wanted to see what the bubbles looked like in the dark, so she took the machine out on the front porch. Hours later, around 2 AM, I stepped outside to see if we'd gotten any snow and saw something terrifying on the ground. I was certain we had some sort of bizarre fungus in our yard or perhaps the aliens had deposited pods of some sort.

No.

They were frozen bubbles. After shitting myself with fright, I took some pictures. And then I fought the urge to beat Aunt Tudi with a shovel for scaring me to death. .....and then I went back to bed and watched The Silence of the Lambs.

frozen bubbles of doom )

This picture is mainly for [livejournal.com profile] trelina. It's a pic of Henry (the blue tick Beagle) and Daisy in their beloved Kibbles & Bits box. They had plush beds, but they preferred this cardboard box. Beagles are so down to earth!

beloved beagles )

And here's one of Chester from a day or so ago. He looks so cute here to be such an asshole.

Chester )

And so it goes.

Raccoon

Jan. 8th, 2006 07:15 pm
tinhuviel: (Londo Mollari)
Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] primed!

The Raccoon
RACCOON - your daemon may be a raccoon. You are a
trickster. Your daemon's nimble hand-like paws
can help in the creation of pranks. You may
prefer the cover of darkness to pull off your
stunts. You may be fascinated by gadgets, and
are probably good at figuring out how things
work. Independent and fun loving, you love to
get the best of someone. You have no
pretensions about yourself. Crafty and clever,
you can adapt to any situation and find a way
to make it work in your favour.


What Is Your Daemon?
brought to you by Quizilla


This makes me want to find that little bit of a children's story I was writing years ago. Yes, I was writing a children's story. No, I don't like kids. But I like a lot of their stories and I had one about a little raccoon named Rikva. It was illustrated and everything. I may have to resume that tale if'n I can find it.

I know a bit about raccoons. The Mother Unit rescued a pair of babies whose mother had been smushed by a vehicle. She named them Rocky and Racky (yeah, original, but she probably did that for cuteness' sake since I was like 4 years old). Rocky couldn't be tamed and ended up in the Greenville zoo. Racky became a pet and he was every bit as brilliant and mischievous as one would imagine a raccoon to be. The Mother Unit loved to play tricks on him by giving him a slice of bread on occasion. Racky would wash his bread and look dumbfounded as it disintegrated in his hands. His best friend was our cat. I can't remember her name. They would sleep and play together, what a wonderful sight to see! Both Racky and the cat disappeared one night and we never saw them again. Ever since, I've wanted to work with raccoons again. I don't think I'd want a pet because that's really not their natural state, but I'd love to interact with raccoons perhaps in a wildlife rescue capacity.
tinhuviel: (Alien)


This just proves that there are still so many things about this planet on which we dwell of which we are in complete ignorance.
tinhuviel: (Dog o'Doom!)
There are some days I'm tempted to convince people I have Tourettes Syndrome just so I can curse people in public and make a scene of my rampant misanthropy without severe ramifications. People will just say, "Oh, she's got Tourettes. Don't mind her." And I can be left to my own devices and wallow in my ocean of expletives.

National Geographic Channel is showing this documentary on exorcism. It's thought that a lot of people who were accused of being witches or being possessed by the devil in the middle ages were actually just victims of Tourettes Syndrome. I wonder how many people diagnosed with Tourettes today are actually possessed by demons! Surely it can go both ways.


While some lucky folks are enjoying seasonal snowfall and are prancing about in their Winter Wonderland, I am experiencing balmy temperatures and thunderstorms. Mind, I love thunderstorms. I adore lightning and I'm inspired by tempests, but not in December. I want some frickin' Winter for once, dammit! I'm tired of living in the South where the only inclement weather we get is the occasional ice storm. I want a buttload of snow, a foot or more!

The last really fantastic snowfall we got was in 1988. It was in January of that year and the storm started when I was at work on third shift. The snow was coming down so thick and fast, we couldn't see our hands before our faces. Timothy told us that, if he did a donut in the parking lot, we could go home. So we all gathered outside and watched Tim do a fantastic donut in his orange Cherokee Chief. I barely got home that night. By the time I got in, there was about three inches on the ground, and I only lived 2.5 miles from work. When morning came, we had over a foot of snow and the whole of the Upstate was essentially shut down for over a week. It was glorious.


Watching this Evangelical exorcise demons, then accept tithes in the form of Mastercard, makes me want to manifest a demon of my own and go kick his ass in the name of god. Surely drawing on demonic power to off a shithead who is victimising the most ignorant among us is doing god's work, right? The end would justify the means in such a circumstance, I'll wager. People like this Evangelical deserve to be pounded like a veal cutlet on network television. That would be prime entertainment!


I'm having this undeniable desire to go camping. I think when I get the 401k money, I'm going to purchase a tent and two sleeping bags for the purpose of taking Aunt Tudi up to the Smokies for a camping expedition. I'd prefer to go back to Mills River, but I hear that area is now being "developed" and is no longer accessible by campers. But there are abundant camping opportunities in Western North Carolina. It's just a matter of finding that perfect spot.

There's just something supremely peaceful about dwelling in the forest and cooking beans over an open fire. And, if you're lucky, going to sleep to the sound of rushing river water right beside you. Yes, I must go camping this Spring.


Right before I fell asleep last night, I looked down at myself and this is what I saw: Chester at my feet, Shmoop between my knees, Riley up near my head, and Smidgen on my chest. I looked like a scene edited out of an old Hee Haw show. It'll be the same thing tonight. The beasties may change positions, but they'll all be on the bed with me, enjoying the warm cosiness of my blankets and watching a movie with me. Shmoop loves to watch TV.
tinhuviel: (Surly Bear)
Aunt Tudi and I went home today, home to Asheville. The Blue Ridge Parkway had reopened, thankfully, so we were able to get up to Craggy Dome and pay our respects to Granny. While there, I walked the trail and finally got some photos of the Faerie realms that grace the Craggy Gardens. After the trip up the Parkway, Aunt Tudi and I went to downtown Asheville with intentions to visit Morrisons. Morrisons is an utterly delightful old-timey general store that sells native Appalachian goods, like the soap I bought, as well as nostalgic candies, toys, and crafts. We found one of [livejournal.com profile] clumsycake's birthday gifts here and I spied a cool thingie that I had to buy [livejournal.com profile] green_goblin70. We also came upon a gigantic bucket of Bit-O-Honeys and bought about a half pound. YUM.

We're planning on going back home again next week, this time heading to Black Mountain to see if the A-Frame chalets are still standing, and to revisit some old haunts around Asheville, primarily Charlotte Street.


Very early this morning, around 3 AM I'd say, Aunt Tudi roused me excitedly. She told me that Sven was on the front porch eating cat food. I staggered to the other room to fetch the camera and eased myself outside. It wasn't Sven out there; rather, it was a very young opossum. I've named her Helga. And I got pictures. She didn't seem very afraid of me and she allowed me to get quite close before she hopped off the end of the porch. Aunt Tudi was appalled, but I was and am delighted. I think opossums are so damned cute!


I've not written a thing today and I doubt that I'll be writing anything before collapsing into bed. Tomorrow is another day, or so Scarlett says. Also, tomorrow, I shall be posting pictures from the Blue Ridge Parkway as well as pictures of Helga. I'd post them tonight, but I'm having difficulties uploading my photos to my Photobucket account and I'm really too weary to deal with it now. Sleep demands my attention.
tinhuviel: (Riley)
Early this morning, I went on a picture-taking binge. Here's what came out of it.

lotsa photos, doo da, doo da )

If I were half as photogenic as my animal pals, I'd be kicking Cindy Crawford's arse all over the place.
tinhuviel: (Weird Al Important)
Okay, enough with the drama and on to actual journaling.

It was another late day for Aunt Tudi and me. She suggested that we may have been bitten by the tsetse fly and have contracted the sleeping sickness. We opened our eyes to view the clock screaming 2 PM at us. That's just wrong.

So we got cleaned up and dressed and hit the road at 3 PM to go pick up our menagerie and make a stop at Wal-Mart. I needed another blouse for my 2 days of that College Workshop 100 thing I have to attend this week at Spartanburg Tech. This is a requirement in order to qualify for free schooling. I can't wear tee shirts and I only had the one red blouse I bought a couple of weeks ago (the one that makes me look like Busty Malone). We dropped by Dr. Patch's to give them the cats' carrying cases and the dogs' leashes so they could get the beasties ready while we were in Wally World.

Whilst in Wally World, I found a nice black blouse that can be both long-sleeved and short-sleeved, and I also found an uber-long black sweater. I also picked up a printer for my future printing needs in school. It was all surprisingly cheap, even for Wal-Mart. We also got some milk, cat food, and a few items of food. Then we went back to Dr. Patch's office.

When we got there, Maria was there with one of her Yorkies and the Yorkie's newborn pup. Maria used to work at Dr. Patch's years ago and we've stayed in touch sporadically since she left. For a while, she ran a pet shop and, during that time, she sold me my one and only beloved hedgehog Leopold, cutting the price in almost a third bless her! Now, she breeds Yorkshire Terriers full time. The pup she had looked like a little black worm with legs. It was uuuuuuuuugly, but all newborns are ugly regardless of their species....bubble-eyed, spotty-haired freaks o'nature they are. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together soon to really catch up with each other.

When Riley saw us in the lobby, the dog literally screamed with joy. He has such emotional issues. We carted them all home and, once we got here, Shmoop had herself a psycho-kitty running fit. She and Smidgen are now on the back porch taking a siesta. As a matter of fact, all the dogs and Aunt Tudi are asleep too. I'm the only person in the house that's awake. I could scamper about nekkid and slapping my own arse with a dish towel and they wouldn't be the wiser.

I have to be up at 6 in the morning and at Spartanburg Tech by 9 AM. The workshop is from 9 'til 12 both Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm supposed to be tested and such, then get suggestions on what career I should study for. I'll do whatever they want me to as long as I can get me some free schooling and not have to work for a while.

Also tomorrow, I'm going to see Llew. We haven't seen each other in almost three weeks.

For now, though, I need to find some supper. It just occurred to me that I'm hungry.
tinhuviel: (Thy Mama)
The Father and Stepmother Units have a room dedicated to nothing but their computers. It is from this room I send out my bleats for rescue. Right now, Mary is on her computer writing up a report for work and I'm on the Father Unit's computer behaving badly. The Father Unit is having a lie down and Aunt Tudi is wandering about aimlessly in another part of the house, having a deep conversation with BB Burdie.

Earlier today, BB clicked his tongue at me and then very clearly said, "Come here." When a bird commands me, I obey. I went over to his crib at which time he began ringing one of his many bells and eyeballing me with a fierce superiority. I remain humbled before the King Budgie of Doom.

Dunno what we're gonna do tonight. If everyone can come together, I suspect gaming will be in order. If not, then I'm going to bed early since Aunt Tudi and I are heading off to C-town to be at the Hampton Inn by 6 AM. She's wanting to touch base with an elderly lady who works there and was quite kind to her when she was staying with Erica during her kidney transplant. Aunt Tudi is keen on thanking this old lady for her kindness above and beyond the call of duty. After that, we're heading on to Sullivans Island to commune with Mother Ocean.

I was thinking about taking everyone out to dinner tomorrow, but I don't want to risk being gone past 9 PM. I will lay waste to all the surrounding hamlets if I miss an iota of LOST. So, on Thursday, I'll be dragging everyone to some restaurant wherein we can all bloat up like ticks. Nothing of importance is happening Thursday night. Well, Nightstalker comes on, but I'm not so into the show that I'll perish if I miss it. Really, it's just an hour of eye candy to me anyway.

I miss the pups, Smidgen, and Shmoop. I want to feel their furry souls about me! Waaaaaahh..... I know we're just gonna have a big orgy of lovin' when Aunt Tudi and I go to pick them up from Dr. Patch's.

Oh, speaking of orgies, I'm planning on getting some screen caps from the movie Caligula tonight. Prepare yourselves for naughty icons in the near future!
tinhuviel: (Triskele)
All of the rain that we haven't gotten over the past month is falling today, which sucks, 'cos this was the day Aunt Tudi and I had to haul the three dogs and two cats over to Dr. Patch's for boarding. Getting all of them into the car, then out of the car and into the office, is difficult on a pleasant day. It's just Hell on Earth on a rainy day. Blaaaagh! But they're now snuggled in their little hotel rooms and Aunt Tudi and I are back home and drying off.

Judy called me a little while ago. She was wanting to hear about my experience so far with the employment commission, so I gave her all the info I had on it so far. Damn, she sounded so bouncy! It was like talking to a totally different person. Maybe it's because Judy is away from The Pit and is feeling alive for the first time in a very long time. She said she was really happy, so I'm happy for her! I offered to give her a tutorial on Monster.com after I get back from Moncks Corner, week after next. Hopefully, we can hook up and catch up on things in a non-Pit environment.

Today, I need to pack and get ready for the trip tomorrow morning. I also need to go see Llew, since I didn't go yesterday. And really, that's all that's on my agenda. That and perhaps a wee nap. This life of leisure will be the death of me!

Ohhhh, and [livejournal.com profile] adriang: thanks for the book. It'll be going with me on the trip to Moncks Corner. :)
tinhuviel: (Smidgen)
Smidgen horked up a hairball on the carpet, so I put her on the back porch until Aunt Tudi and I could get the house back in order. Once the mess was cleaned up (Aunt Tudi did the cleaning while I held the dogs at bay), I went back out to check on Smidgen and let her back into the house. When I went out, I heard enthusiastic munching in the back yard. Thinking it was one of the cats, I moved to the door to see which cat it was making such a ruckus. It wasn't a cat, but a very large opossum! It stood right where it was, happily feasting on the cat food. So I had to try to get a picture. It's not the best photo in the world because I took it behind a screen door in the dark. It looks more like an infrared spy photo, but at least I got it!

I'll show you my dark secret )

Shortly after that, the opossum peeped around at all the cats watching him in disbelief, then waddled through the fence to his destiny.
tinhuviel: (Dubya)
I haven't helped or donated anything to the situation in the Gulf Coast yet. Yet. I feel terrible about what's happened and I'm sorry that so many people have been displaced, their lives in shambles.

HOWEVER

From what I've learned about hurricanes, they're nature's way of cooling off the oceans...and we're having a more active hurricane season because the oceans are warmer...and the oceans are warmer because of global warming...something Dubya contends does not exist and will not commit to trying to prevent...and Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama were all strong RED STATES.

Not to mention I am not fond of humans in general.

All that said, when I do donate some money (once I have my hot hands on my severance), I will be giving to the animal rescue organisations. The animals caught up in this horror aren't there by choice. Their human companions' ancestors were the brainiacs who thought building a city in a BOWL surrounded by WATER in an area prone to host HURRICANES was the most brilliant fucking idea they'd ever come up with. Their human companions are the ones who supported the beady-eyed sub-chimp whose policies will only encourage more numerous and violent hurricanes for the indeterminate future. Humans helped to create the mess in the Gulf Coast. The animals are the innocent victims here, as usual.

And honestly, if this had happened in a Blue State, I might be more inclined to help the humans because I'd think they were at least attempting to stop the insanity that oozes out of Washington DC like raw sewage. But we're talking about the South here, the very buckle of the Bible Belt. Most of these people voted for Dubya because they think God is on his side and theirs. Well, let God take care of them now. I'll do what I can to help the animals.
tinhuviel: (Riley)
Just before my batteries went dead, I got pictures of the entire indoor family.

fauna )
tinhuviel: (Riley)
I had this dream very early this morning that I was in a relationship with Bruce Campbell. We were at this restaurant just yucking it up in front of Aunt Tudi, who was appropriately mortified. But we were having so much fun and laughing so hard. Bruce kept kissing me on the cheek and telling me how cool I was. It was truly surreal.


While sitting at the vet's office yesterday afternoon, waiting to get Smidgen and Shmoop their shots, something occurred to me: I will soon have the world at my feet. I can do whatever I wish to do. And I wish to help animals. So why the fuck am I thinking of getting into Respiratory Therapy? I hate people and I love animals. Encouraging old assholes to hork loogies in my presence is really not my idea of a good time. Helping in the healing of an animal, any animal, is. So....I'm thinking of going into Veterinary Assistance instead of Respiratory Therapy. It's not like I need that much money since I'm going to be getting out of debt very soon. And, once I've gotten my certificate and am working at a vet's assistant, I can continue my education to become a honest-to-goddess veterinarian. I don't have to stop going to to school after two years. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do.

And I know that Dr. Patch would help me in any way he could. He's already taught me so much over the years. I could tell he was a bit disappointed when I told him I was going into respiratory therapy a few weeks back so I think he was kinda hoping I'd take the animal path. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. And I think he will too.

Blogathon

Aug. 6th, 2005 04:12 pm
tinhuviel: (Locke)
I was considering doing the Blogathon this year now that I have over 100 friends, but my inability to be at the computer the entire day today prevented my doing it. If I hadn't had to leave town, I would have so been involved for an animal charity. Personally, I think there are way too many human-centric charities. For the most part, we've all gotten ourselves into the fixes we're in, so we need to get ourselves out. This doesn't apply to incurable diseases and whatnot, but most other things, even supposedly helping the environment....sorry, but I'm a cold-hearted misanthropist who's cheering on the Alpaca Lips. The quicker we're all gone from the planet, the better off everything will be. The way I look at it, Mother Earth will heal Herself after the parasites are eradicated. She doesn't need our help. I think She's had enough of *our* help.

But I digress. Next year, I'm gonna do the Blogathon or die trying. Any charity that helps animals will be a candidate, except for PETA. PETA has lost their way, in my not-so-humble opinion. It seems to me that they're more about looking cool and obtaining a level of celebrity than they are about really helping animals. I'm thinking more along the lines of the ASPCA or WWF. I'm all for helping the beasties. I should do something to support my position instead of just yapping about it all the time. Actually, I used to donate to several animal charities, but I've been unable to do so for quite some time now.

It's time to take some sort of action. I just hate that I have to wait an entire year. Are there anymore things like Blogathong happening any sooner than that? Do let me know. In the meantime, [livejournal.com profile] shadesong is doing the Blogathon this year, so go check her out and help if you can. Word.
tinhuviel: (stic)
I found this news story online and thought perhaps it's the legendary thunderbird seen in modern times. Wouldn't it be cool to see a bird this huge?
tinhuviel: (Default)
If you were disturbed by the story about Al Qaeda gassing our beloved canine companions, I suggest you turn your anger to the Kings of Animal Experimentation:

Goon Squads for 'Earth Gov'

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