tinhuviel: (Torquemada)

I haven’t done one of these in about 10,000 years, so let’s get this show on the road.

This is all true. photo 1264091_10153348891685721_288267917_o.jpg1. Full name: Tracy Angelina Evans
2. Nicknames: Tin, Tinhuviel, George, Darth Shriek
3. Birthplace: Asheville, North Carolina USA
4. Birthday: 10 September, 1967
5. Where Do You Live Now?: San Diego, California
6. Parent(s): Father Unit has passed.  Mother Unit is here in San Diego.
7. Sibling(s): ZERO
8. Looks: Better off invisible.
9. Favourite Animal(s): Anything non-human, except for millipedes and centipedes.  Like humans, they can go fuck themselves.
10. Favorite TV Show(s): Impractical Jokers, Better Call Saul

11. Favorite Kind(s) Of Music: Most everything but Country and Opera.
12. Favorite Movie(s): Sci-Fi, Unusual, Conceptual, Foreign
13. School: Some college, focusing on English and Veterinary Assistance
14. Future School: I’m too old for this question. The Chapel Perilous

15. Future Job: Testing new, effective sleep aids.
16. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: nah
17. Best Buds: I’m a bit of a hermit these days.
18. Favorite Candy: Milk Dud
19. Hobbies: Music, reading, writing
20. Things You Collect: Grudges, CDs, movies, moments in time.

21. Do You Have A Personal Phone Line: Yes
22. Favorite Body Part Of The Opposite Sex? The eyes and brain
23. Any Tattoos And Where Of What?: Red & Black Triskele on right hand, Green Shriekback logo on left hand, Mwanza Flat-headed Agama with green and blue hues instead of pinkish and blue.
24. Piercing(s) And Where?: not anymore
25. What Do You Sleep in?: clothing
26. Do you like Chain Letters: aw HELL NAW.
27. Best Advice: Reality is peripheral.
28. Favorite Quotes: Hope for the best, expect the worst. - Mel Brooks.
29. Non-sport Activity You Enjoy: sleep
30. Dream Car: A transporter

31. Favorite Thing To Do In Spring: Avoid the sun.
32. What’s Your Bedtime: Whenever I’m lucky.
33. Where Do You Shop: Wherever I can.
34. Coke or Pepsi: Cheerwine

35. Favorite Thing(s) To Wear?: Something loose that will allow me to blend into my surroundings.
36. Favorite Subject(s) In School: English and Creative Writing

37. Favorite Color(s): Green, Red, Black
38. Favorite People To Talk To Online: People with brains and a wicked sense of humour that has set them on the road to Hell.

39. Root-Beer or Dr. Pepper? Root beer

40. Do You Shave? I’m too old for that bullshit.

41. Favorite Vacation Spot(s): I don’t do vacations.  My favourite place to BE is England.
42. Favorite Family Member(s): Smidgen
43. Did You Eat Paint Chips When You Were a Kid? WHAT?
44. Favorite CD you own: Currently Without Real String or Fish by Shriekback
45. The ONE Person Who You Hate The Most: Going with an old standard here and saying Pat Robertson.
46. Favorite Food(s)?: Potatoes
47. Who Is The Hottest Guy or Girl In The World?: I have a very short list.
48. What Is Your Favorite Salad Dressing?: Bleu Cheese.
49. When You Die, Do You Wanna Be Buried or Burned Into Ashes? I don’t care, as long as I end up on Craggy Dome.
50. Do You Believe In Aliens?: Absolutely.

51. If You Had The Chance To Professionally Do Something, What would You Do? I’m already a Professional Misanthropist.
52. Things You Obsess Over: Various artists, ideas, philosophies, theories, general weirdness
53. Favorite Day of the Week: Don’t bloody care.
54. An Authority Figure You Hate: The Feudal Mistress still tops the list.
55. Favorite Disney Movie: Bambi
56. What Is Your Favorite Season? Winter
57. What Toppings Do You Like On Your pizza? Cheese, with extra cheese, and cheese on the side.
58. Do You Like Your School Food Itself (As In The District Food): I never ate it.
59. If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would You Live? Avebury, Wiltshire, UK
60. Favorite Thing(s) To Do On Weekends: Sleep, if I can accomplish it.

61. Favorite Magazine(s): Don’t have one.
62. Favorite Flower(s): White rose

63. Favorite Number(s): 5

64. Favorite Ice Cream flavor(s): Ben & Jerry’s Wavy Gravy

65. What Kind of Guys/Girls Are You Attracted to?: Dangerously intelligent, beautiful, talented, and hilarious.

66. What’s Your Most Embarrassing Moment? I inadvertently introduced myself to someone as his wife.

67. If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself What Would It be? I would be fearless.

68. Do You Eat Breakfast First Then Brush Your Teeth or Brush first ten eat breakfast: breakfast first.

69. Favorite Time of Day: Whenever I get to sleep.

70. Can A Guy and Girl Be Just “Best Friends?”: Why not?

71. Do You Ask The Girl/Guy Out Or Do You Wait For Them To Come To You?: I don’t go there anymore.

72. Do You Mind Paying For Sex? I never would.

73. What’s The Most Important thing In Someone’s Personality: Sentience

74. Do you have a pager or cell phone? Cell

75. Favorite Sport: Flambodious Butt-walking

76. What Was the Best Gift You Ever Received? Love

77. How Long Did This Letter Take You To Finish?: Not very long.

78. What Did You Listen To While Completing It?: Electric Light Orchestra’s Alone in the Universe.

79. Are you or would you like to be married in the near future (next 5 years)? NEGATIVE

80. Don’t u just hate how psychics never win the lottery? I hate it more than I don’t win the lottery. I hate psychics, especially the ones who claim to talk to your dead relatives.  They’re grifters who should be drawn and quartered.  The End.

tinhuviel: (Can't Stop Writing)
It's been a week since I've done one of these, but I've been a tad busy with much more Important Matters (yes, important enough to merit capitalization!)

So, let's get this party started, shall we?

This was inspired by something the Mother Unit said a while back.  I thought she was going to wet herself when she saw it.  Made me damned happy!  It also almost drove me batshit crazy, because my Photoshop skills leave a lot to be desired.  It took me half a day to make it, and it still is pretty bad, despite efforts to the contrary.
You want to see more. You know you do. Click it! You can't resist! The power of Christ compels you! )

Okay, freaks, there will be more to come!
tinhuviel: (Yay....)
When I do get to sleep for any length of time, I'm having dreams of interacting with Aunt Tudi. They are so incredibly real that I have woken myself up several times in the past couple of weeks, talking to her. And, if I'm not doing that, I'm having those falling dreams that you tend to have when you're on the threshold of actual sleep, the kind that make you jerk awake. Neither are very conducive to decent sleep, and to be honest, they actually make me want to stay awake. At least when I'm awake, despite the depression, I have some semblance of control over my mind.

In other news, I ate for the first time in three days just a few hours ago. Everything tastes horrible, and I haven't really been hungry. If I keep this up, I'm either gonna be thin or dead...or both. Either or both would be fine with me.

That's the latest good news from the Cliffs of Insanity. I'm gonna end this quickly, as I have an extremely clingy cat lying in the crook of my right arm, preventing my ability to use the keyboard with any shred of success.
tinhuviel: (Rothian)
After being awake 42 or 43 hours (I think? Insomnia makes you fuzzy.), I finally passed flat out and slept right at four hours. I was up again just before 7 AM, shivering and unsteady. I'm trying to get my mind together so I might be able to at least get a little writing in today. Before I do, I have some errands to run and some chores to do.

Then we'll see.


Apr. 23rd, 2012 09:37 am
tinhuviel: (Kowalski)
Finally passed out a little after 6 AM. Probably would have slept longer, but the phone woke me up.

Not planning on doing anything today, except for reading a friend's childrens book she has written and is working on editing now. I may try to write myself, but it might not be worth it with my brain in its current condition. I'm not really sure it would be worth it, except for it being therapeutic, and even that isn't a certain thing.

I do have a couple of phone calls I have to make. Maybe its best that I get those out of the way right now, while I have it on my mind. One of the places is the tax office. My car taxes come due the first week of May. I need to find out if I'm supposed to go ahead and pay on the ION when I know I'll be paying taxes on whatever "new" car I'll be getting, hopefully this week.

My rental runs out on the 26th, so I really need to get that settlement check before then. Enterprise is going to be charging me for mileage and fuel, plus I'm going to be without any transportation whatsoever if I don't have a car by then. So yeah, I need to get my shit together and get this show on the road. Diane and Bobby are gonna be helping me find a decent car. Really, the only thing I need is something that will get me to Asheville and, specifically Craggy Gardens and back, without breaking down...and a working stereo. Because I am literally incapable of driving without music. Oddly enough, I tend to fall asleep in the car, and its music that pretty much keeps me awake and alert.

Of course, I'm repeating myself on some of this, because I'm an absentminded old fool. Such is life.

50 Hours

Apr. 19th, 2012 04:01 pm
tinhuviel: (Family Dog)
I'm going on 50 hours of no sleep, save for about thirty minutes this morning where I sort of lost it sitting up. I'm getting that weirdo feeling again so, if I make some sort of bizarro post in the next little while, just chalk it up to Space Madness and be glad I'm not driving.
tinhuviel: (Hickey Monster)
Thanks to insomnia and poor judgment, that is exactly what I'm doing right now. My only hope is that the hole gets big enough for me to jump into and someone takes enough pity on me to fill the damned thing up again, with me in it.

Jesus Christ.
tinhuviel: (Hickey Monster)
I have now been up for 34 hours. Needless to say, I am getting absolutely nothing of any worth done today. I had planned on some marathon writing, but I can't get my mind on it because it's so exhausted. I hate it when this happens. And I can't get my Ambien until Thursday, which means I had to take two to actually sleep at least 6 days this past month. That is not good.

Insomnia really takes it out of a person. Especially when that person gets keyed up over the smallest little issue that may arise. I'm too skittish. That's what Riddick said about the Narc Crew taking him to Crematoria. Skittish.

I'm looking back on the video I made just a couple of months ago compared to the ones I'm doing now, and I really wish I had waited to work on any of the Shriek/Barry/Illuminati material until I had developed some level of Mad Skillz. The other mindless stuff like the Tutorials have been very instructional on how to actually make a viable video. Like the Candyman video I made this morning, or the Kicking Giant Arse epic from the other day. Synching up the images or movie clips to the beat of the music is a mathematical art I didn't think I was even remotely capable of, being a series suck-meister at maths of any sort. But it has happened, and I'm amazed at that.

Still running like scared wee fox from the hounds that haunt me on Facebook. I should never had asked that Question, then I would be blissfully ignorant about being watched. But, no, I can't leave well enough alone.

I've been a cooking fool today, making some chocolate candy and some chicken rice. Both turned out really well and I stored them in exactly the right size of bowls. This is miraculous because I never could do that when Aunt Tudi was alive. She used to laugh at me, at my incompetence at such things. I was incompetent because I figured she'd just do it better, being the domestic side of our arrangement, and I could continue being a mindless git. That's not the case anymore, and I'm really surprising myself.

I have mixed myself up a gigantic screwdriver in the hope it will make me sleep instead of pee uncontrollably. With my luck, I'll spend the evening the water closet, wishing that I could just close my eyes for five minutes. If I don't get some sleep soon, I will surely travel beyond madness and straight into Sparta.
tinhuviel: (Family Dog)
If I don't get some sleep, I am going to lose my mind.
tinhuviel: (fitzgerald)
I've been up since 4 AM. After not sleeping well at all and getting only about three hours at that, I was awakened by a Beagle ready to go out to the bathroom an hour early. He pulls hair when he's ready to get up. He pulls a lot of hair and it's really painful. I got up and took care of all of them. Fitzgerald is back outside just to make certain he does his business. He has the pee schedule switched to where he'll go outside to poop and do outdoorsy type stuff, but he comes in and pees. This can't keep going. So he's outside right now being as miserable as I am in here. When he gets in, I'm going to try to get him to lie back down. I'm so tired I could curl up in a ball and just die.

Stormy Day

May. 31st, 2010 08:46 am
tinhuviel: (Cadmus Wrath)
I've been awake since 3:50. Yes, I've been out of the Zyprexa for a few days and my body is going back to it's crazy schedule of little to no sleep. Instead of twirling like a British Petroleum drill, I decided to go ahead and get up, maybe write a little. I'm already 2000 words into today's 3000 word goal. The characters have chosen some odd routes and partnerships. Kelat and Cadmus found themselves on the same Virgin flight to New York City. Thiyennen and Eve have decided to join Dmitri and Ishtar on their road trip from Asheville to NYC. Rebekah and Mephistopheles are flying into NYC from Iraq. And Agatha, with the Augury of Gideon in tow, is flying into NYC with Orphaeus Cygnus. And what is drawing them all to the Big Apple? The spirit of Faust, aka Kallum McCreary. We're gonna have ourselves an old-fashioned resurrection right in the heart of SoHo. As Kallum would say, it's gonna be the berries.

Anyway...there's really not much going on with me other than the writing. Today is stormy, messing with a lot of Memorial Day hoo-ha, but I'm not concerned with any of that. Smidgen has decided that the safest place on Earth is behind the toilet when it storms. Poor thing is making herself a lightning rod and she doesn't even know it. Aunt Tudi got up, got her medicine, got her insulin shot, and is now lying back down and snoring. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't envious. Instead of sleeping, I think I'm gonna watch Dr. Phil and try to stir up a little hatred, so I can write Cadmus sufficiently well later on. Like me, he's been suffering from insomnia, and he's not handling it nearly as well as I am. But that's Cadmus for you.
tinhuviel: (Here is the news!)
There's a sign at a mechanic's shop in downtown Spartanburg that says "Eric says: honk if you're wearing clean underwear." I'd give anything to get a picture of this, but I keep forgetting about it before it's too late to get my camera out. I may have to drive to Spartanburg for the sole purpose of getting a photo of this sign. Funny thing is, no one ever honks. Does this mean no one in Spartanburg has on clean underwear? Of course, I don't honk either, even though my undies are so clean, they're spiff.

Speaking of signs, there's a new daycare in Duncan called Grins and Giggles. The sign out front is white with red lettering. I am so tempted to sneak over there in the night, paint over the Grins with white and replace it with the word Shits. "I take my son Fred here to Shits and Giggles Daycare!" It reminded me of when the shaved ice stand in Duncan had their "Hawaiian Shaved Ice" sign altered to read "Hawaiian Shaved Pussy." That was bloody priceless right there.

I'm slowly constructing the playlist for The Augury of Gideon. I've been bantering around in the brain pan about possible chapter names too. Here's what I've come up with so far.

  1. The Violent Inquisition

  2. The Mortal Paladin
  3. (this would be the chapter into which I'll be injecting my Agatha short story "The Shroud.")
  4. Defeated Dragon

  5. The Found Path

  6. Said the Child to the Mother

  7. The Final Reunion

This writing two books at the same time is actually kind of fun, if not a little frustrating. The rewrites on The Blood Crown are going to be ridiculous because I wrote a lot if it in stream of consciousness whilst whacked out on Monster coffees. I'm hoping Augury won't be as difficult on [livejournal.com profile] gunslingaaahhh.

I just witnessed Aunt Tudi kick a news bee's ass out of the front door. I mean literally, she booted his fat ass out. He looked back at her resentfully and said "kiss my ass next time, byotch." Yes, I speak bee and he was rather vociferous regarding his poor treatment as a guest in our home. Now, if [livejournal.com profile] gypsyboy70 had been here, he would have screamed like a leetle gurrl and passed flat out. He doesn't like bees. Why are so many of my friends and acquaintances afraid of bugs? I don't get it. Now, if they feared centipedes and millipedes, I could understand that, because those things are hellspawn from the planet EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK. But bees and spiders? Harmless. Mostly. Like Earth in The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy.

I've done my LJ and FB cuts. If you were one of them and want to protest, feel free. I'll add you back in a New York minute. But I don't see that happening 'cos the folks I said goodbye to were hardly active at all anyway. And I'm betting that some of them are actually grateful to be rid of me. I know I'm grateful to be rid of me when I get to sleep. Finally, some time away from myself!

Speaking of sleep, Zyprexa is helping me do that. It may kill me, but I was close to death because of not sleeping anyway. It's either take the Zyprexa or take walk in the river. Insomnia can make you want to do ungodly things, like commit suicide. If you're dead, you're sleeping the Big Sleep. I was taking that option quite seriously last week. As a result, I came really close to being hospitalised by the doctors at mental health until I explained to them that I am intractable when it comes to medication. When a couple of Advil would help a normal person, I have to take like four or six. It runs in the family to be this way too. So the doctor gave me the next to the largest strength of Zyprexa. The first night I slept 13 hours. Second night, 7. Consecutive nights have me averaging about 5 or 6, but that's 5 or 6 more hours than I was getting and I'm achieving REM 'cos I remember having dreams. I wish I could remember the dreams, but I know I'm having them. I may have to write a love poem to Zyprexa.

There's something I've been needing to do for a while and I may just do it this evening. I need to take down the Joker posters and stash them away as a moment of short-lived blissful memorabilia. In their place, I'll be mounting on the wall a Shriekback poster from the Go Bang! era. How I'm going to sleep with Barry looming over me is yet to be surmised. We'll see how well the Zyprexa does after the poster shuffling has been achieved. And yes, there will be a picture made. God help us all.

In closing, I am hungry and want lamb koorma with naan immediately, but I'll settle for a peanut butter sammich.


Oct. 26th, 2009 07:06 pm
tinhuviel: (Khaaaaaan!!)
I've been down all day with a migraine headache, so yippee for me! That means I'll be up all night giving anyone who reads The Cliffs of Insanity a migraine headache, so yippee for you!

Survey Hell

Oct. 7th, 2009 04:24 am
tinhuviel: (Insomnia)
I popped on to [livejournal.com profile] filmkitty's journal to see if she were actually using it and she posted two surveys. Since I'm mad from insomnia, I'm gonna do one this morning. It's 4 AM. Please kill me.

1. How tall are you barefoot? 5'5.5"

2. Full Name: Tracy Angelina Evans

3. Do you own a gun? Does a Spiderman water gun count?

4. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be? Oh....let's go with Antisocial Personality Disorder, or how about High-Functioning Sociopathy. A lot of creative people fall into that category. We channel our issues through art instead of other socially unacceptable behaviour...for now.

5. How many letters are in your crush's first name? I don't have one.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Lips and assholes.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? "Do They Know It's Christmas" by Band Aid.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? English Breakfast or Irish Breakfast Tea

9. Do you do push-ups? Depends on who needs a push up and where I'm pushing them.

10. Have you ever done ecstasy? No, but I love XTC. Andy Partridge is DA MAN.

11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nooooo.

12. Do you like the rain? When it's convenient.

13. Are you sweet? I am a Sith.

15. Do you have A.D.D? I don't like math.

16. Full Initials: TAE

17. Name 4 thoughts at this exact moment. "How did I end up doing this again?" "This 'Gin Soaked Boy' is stealing my soul!" "I can I cook up such horrible torments? What's wrong with me? Oh, right..." and "Insomnia will eventually kill me."

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought in the past week. Cheerwine, medicine, and a cheap and tawdry whore. Okay, it was a loaf of bread.

20. What time did you wake up today? At 8:30 in a total panic for what I thought was no reason until I checked my email 5 minutes later.

21. Can you spell? What do you want me to spell?

22. Current worry? How can I make someone see the Truth of Things?

23. Current hate? Manipulation.

24. Favorite place to be? The English countryside.

25. Least favorite place to be? My current locale.

26. Where would you like to go right now? A number of places.

27. Do you own slippers? I've no need to slip into anything.

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? It'll be 2019, so hopefully I'll be dead along with the rest of Humanity. Ain't a big ball of sunshine?

29. Do you burn or tan? I'm a pale blue Scottish person, what do you think?

30. Yellow or blue. Yellow or blue what?

31 Would you be a pirate? What makes you think I'm not?

32. Last time your phone rang? Earlier today.

33. What song do you sing in the shower? I don't, that's stupid.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Beezers.

35. What's in your pockets right now? The One Ring to Rule Them All. You're all sooooo fucked.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? An email from someone.

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? I never thought of stuff like that.

38. Worst injury you've ever had? The ones visited upon my soul.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Deux.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? Everyone has a crush on me. I have decreed it so just now. Someone get a Writ!

44. Do you wish on stars? No. They may not even exist by the time their light reaches us, so I may be wishing on a cosmic disaster. My life is already one of those, so why encourage the inevitable?

45. what is your favorite book? The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien

46. What song did you last hear? "Come Tenderness" by Lisa Gerrard.

47. When were you last kissed? June of 2008.

48. What is your favorite cereal? Anything with Granola. I like feeling like a Hippie.

49. What were you doing at midnight last night? Feeling my body shut down.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? SOMETHING IS WRONG! WHAT DID I MISS? IS IT 2012? AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Or something along those lines.
tinhuviel: (Can't Stop Writing)
Too bad I wasn't awake this morning to enjoy it. I took my jacked-up meds like a good little brain patient last night around 9 PM. Midnight came and I was still wide awake, just working away like a happy little minion, sweeping through the forums like a harpy on a mop (that one was for you, [livejournal.com profile] filmkitty), working on a drawing for [livejournal.com profile] paisleydaze, and rereading what I have so far of The Blood Crown. Y'know, hey lolly lolly just-a doin' my thang. Add to the mix an insane brainstorming chat-session about a viral campaign and Nerf management with [livejournal.com profile] luvthyjoker and Fox, the Clown's Updater over on You Tube, and you have the makings of a long and happy evening.

I was, that is, until right around 3 am, while I was online with [livejournal.com profile] rancid_rainbow discussing the need for a Town Hall Meeting, now that Little Bro has such a large and scattered team helping him out. Well, we were talking about that and music. And that's the last thing I remember until around 5 this morning when Aunt Tudi asked me to get up and give her her insulin shot. I woke up starved to death so I got a wee bowl of grits and couldn't even finish those. Aunt Tudi woke me a few minutes later, telling me to get my hair out of my food. I went and cleaned up, got rid of the grits, and wibbled my way back to the love seat to finish one more thing online before I turned in.

I woke up on the love seat at 2 PM.

So I've had over 9 hours of deep, uninterrupted, dreamless sleep, just at the wrong time of day. I expect I'll be up all night tonight. I'm not taking the meds tonight. I'll just stay awake until around 6 PM tomorrow evening. Then I'll take the meds and maybe I'll fall out at the correct time. What I really think my problem is, is that I'm by nature a night person. All of my creative efforts and thoughts kick my spirit up a notch when the sun goes down. Maybe forcing myself to sleep at night isn't the best idea in the world. I'm gonna try it for a while, but I may instead reverse myself completely and take my meds for a daytime sleep schedule, interrupting it only long enough to perform diurnal duties before crawling back into my coffin.

In other news, I am officially retired from writing The Date Series. I know I've said that before, but this time is different. Yesterday, I deleted my j-Tunes from my i-Tunes playlists and from Son of iGor. If nothing else bespeaks finality, that does to anyone who truly knows me. The tale is in the music. If the music is dispersed, the tale is over. I have achieved Zen Oneness with my Joker. All the Js that were crowding my head merged into one happy, reconciled, shiny new Head Joker who can now reside in the brain pan and give advice on chaos, anarchy, and dealing with difficult people as needed.

There was one other J-fic I was considering writing, and I actually started it. Its working title was "One Pretty Bad Day," and it was to follow a day in the life of J, who has apparently fallen victim to Murphy's Law. Yes, it was a comedy. No, there was no violence or sex involved. I may still do it, I don't know. Right now, the only J-related thing I have the time or sanity to focus on is The Joker Blogs and making sure Little Bro gets to do his thing in the way he wants to do it, with no or close to no distraction or bother. Where my mind is right now, any J-related writing will be in that vein, for the maintenance and furtherance of Little Bro's growing empire. My new Head J, who sits next to Maul on the Council of We'll Kick Your Ass and Laugh while We Do It, will be very useful to my psyche as I keep on keeping on in this capacity. The characters that inhabit my head are my archetypes, whom I tap when the need arises. There's never a dull moment when a Sith Lord and a sociopathic Clown with self-image issues are on the job. There's some other stuff I want to write regarding TJB, but that'll have to wait until later when my thoughts are gathered.

I'd also like to get back into HG World Zombie Drama podcast, but I'll be needing a new mic before I can do that. Mine is knackered. I may as well string a tin can to one of my USB ports. I thought I'd be able to get one this month, but it's not gonna happen 'til September now. I'm hoping I can still be a part of it in some way by then. I had a hella good time doing what I did with 'In the Flesh.'

There's that, and I've gotten the bug to start drawing again, thanks to my interp of one of [livejournal.com profile] paisleydaze's characters. After I finish that, I may try my hand at a new Cadmus picture. It's been years since I drew him, so I'm sure he's changed in subtle ways that will only come out on paper. Heck, for that matter, I may as well draw him and Orphaeus together, since The Blood Crown is as much about the dynamics of their relationship as it is about anything else. Now that I have new artist friends who can give me good advice and beat me about the head with easels if need be, I feel much better about drawing and being able to improve myself.

And, for the first time in quite a long time, I have The Blood Crown open and looking at me from the computer monitor. I feel rejuvenated from my fan fiction vacation, even though that holiday took a right turn at Albuquerque when it should have taken a left. All in all, it was a scream, as opposed to The Vampire Relics being a Shriek. Totally different vibe. And now I'm getting back into the dreadful poetry of Cadmus Pariah and company. Once more into the Abyss...

Better untried than found defective
Better unhinged than unselective
Better messed-up than compromised
Better ignored than not emphasized
tinhuviel: (EYE-GORE)
Today (yesterday now so, if any of this sounds ridiculous, it's because I've been awake for 24 hours as of..right...now~!), I got to see my favourite doctor, Dr. Pilch! Why is he my favourite? Because he's bloody gorgeous, that's why! Well, that and he's tending the brain I got from Abby Normal with the best bedside manner I've ever encountered in a doctor, surpassing even that of my old orthopedic surgeon. This was my normal three-month follow-up visit with my neurologist, whom I've been seeing since last July when I quite unexpectedly had a seizure, not that you often schedule seizures. Suffice to say I'd never had a seizure prior to the one I enjoyed last year and I haven't had one since. In addition to trying to figure out why I had the seizure, Dr. Pilch has gotten the extra added joy of pondering my imponderable insomnia and ponderously pounding head. On Thursday, he got to add black-outs to the laundry list of noodle issues. Only recently has this begun and, lucky for Dr. Pilch, it began right before I was scheduled to see the good (looking) doctor.

Once I was called back by the nurse, I told her what had been going on and she took diligent notes, because she's a very diligent nurse. She told me that Dr. Pilch would be in shortly and to try to be comfy. I thanked her and proceeded to wonder why it was all chairs in doctors offices and exam rooms were the least comfortable on the planet, with the exception of the dentist's chair. And that's simply black humour right there because, really, where can a person be least comfortable but a dentist's chair? If it were any less like a La-Z-Boy, the dentist would have to scrape his patients from the ceiling before any given exam or, at least that's how it'd be with me. I could be given a Tempurpedic mattress and a hookah brimming with opium, and still be chew-a-hole-in-the-world-with-my-ass nervous while at the dentist's, and my dentist caters to cowards!

But I digress. After giving up trying to be comfortable in the exam room, I began to read the latest issue of Neurology Today, which isn't as interesting as Psychology Today but, since I didn't have that and my only other option was Southern Living, Neurology Today was the winner of the day. In the back of the magazine was a mini-article featuring the ongoing adventures of Migraine Chick. The two strips featured in the article had me har-dee-har-harring as much from woeful familiarity as from the full-on hilarity of the illustrations.

This was one of them:
Train Your Pet Migraine

About the time I was finishing up writing her URL down on my hand, in walked Dr. Pilch. He looked at me as if to say, "You're writing on yourself. I'm a neurologist. Perhaps you need a psychologist instead. And then the moment passed and he was all smiles and sweetness because he's that good (looking).

Now, on the best of days, speaking with a neurologist is always fodder for the Theatre of the Absurd. Dr. Pilch began to look over the notes his nurse had taken, and he asked me about the black outs. I told him that they seemed to be very brief and I never fully lost consciousness, so they weren't like the seizure I had.

"Do you know how long they lasted?"

"Not very long. It's not like I had missing time, or was abducted by aliens or anything."

::wry grin from the dee-lec-table doc:: "So what did you see?"


"And when you came around, were you confused as to your whereabouts or who you were?"

"No more so than usual, doc."

::another wry grin:: I love his grin. He is a hotteh, my brain doctor.

"I see you're not sleeping as well as you were the last time we saw one another."

"No, 'fraid not."

"And the migraines are worse?"

"Yeah, 'fraid so."

"Do you think the black-outs have anything to do with these other factors?"

"You tell me doc. I have a faulty brain and am unsure of my capacity to think clearly."

Yeah, I was being a bit of a smart-ass, but not in a snarky way; rather, more in a playful please for to allow me to molest you on your uncomfortable furniture way. Or, if you need to be more comfortable, my dentist is right down the road. We can turn off the drill...and the lights...and.... But I digress.

"Well, I think that, even though you say you've actually been sleeping better this week, the crux of your problems lies in your body being unable to maintain a recognisable sleep pattern. I see we've tried a number of different treatment methods and have ruled out sleep apnea. The Klonopin was working well for you until we doubled your anti-depressant, so what I want to do is add a 1/2 milligram of Klonopin to your 1 mg at night. If we can jumpstart your sleeping pattern, maybe your body will be able to grasp it and go from there in healing itself. I think your migraines will diminish as a result as well; however, if you have any more black-outs, I don't want you to wait until I see you again in December. I want you to call me immediately. We may end up having to do another electroencephalogram."'

"Meh, not another one of those..."

"Well, it's been a year since we tested you. Better to be safe than sorry and, who knows, maybe something will turn up in a new one that couldn't be seen in the last one. Let's hold off on that for now, though. I know your funds are limited, so I want to try to treat the underlying cause of all this before we go crazy and hook you up to the electrodes again. In the meantime, you're still on the Paxil, Relpax and Lortab as needed for migraine, and the magnesium?"

"Affirmative, Doc."

"Okay, let's see how things go with the 1.5 mg of Klonopin. Hopefully, this will take care of the insomnia, which will help with the migraines and all associated symptoms of those including, I'm betting the black-outs. But, like I said," and he waggled his finger at me, which is fine with me since he's my elder (and I always respect my elders, especially those of the irresistible kind), "any more episodes and we're going ahead with the EEG immediately, okay?"

"Anything you say, you tasty morsel of medical mayhem! Oh...you got it Doc!" I sure hope that first bit was my internal voice remaining....internal. If not, though, I can always blame faulty hardwiring of the brain and ask him for some special attention in that grievous matter. To satisfy his curiosity, Dr. Pilch asked me about my writing on myself. I explained to him about Migraine Chickie and I showed him the comic strips at the back of Neurology Today. He took the mag and studied the strips for a few moments and, O so very slowly, his face split into one of the prettiest smiles I've ever seen on a person (and, yes, men can have pretty smiles just like women can have handsome ones!). Not just that, no no; Dr. Pilch then began to chuckle lowly.

"Forgive me. I know it's not right to laugh at something from which a patient of yours is suffering, but...this is really quite funny! Please don't take offense."

"None taken! I was cackling at these right before you came in, so I'm right there with you, Dr. Pilch (and on you like a cheap suit, if given a shred of a hint of a whisper of a chance in hell)."

The good (looking) doctor stopped and sized me up, saying, "You know, that's a very good attitude you have there. When it comes to medicine, one can never underestimate the therapeutic benefits of a good chuckle."

Those were his words exactly. And here's hoping the good (looking) doctor is right because, if he is, I'm already cured of everything. Since that's obviously not the case (I would have otherwise slept last night), maybe another electroencephalogram is in order which, given my newfound association with head electrodes, will certainly push me over the edge of hilarity and into "The doctor gave me a pill and I grew a new kidneh!"-ville.
tinhuviel: (Syd Barrett)
I fell asleep writing a little earlier, slept for about an hour sitting straight up. Woke up feeling like I'd been struck by a freight train. And now here I am writing here, thinking about Pink Floyd. So they're my theme over on Blip.fm this morning. Yesterday it was a bit more festive, as I featured a series of Klezmer tunes to get whomever was listening to jumping early in the morning. Absolutely will "On the Turning away" be featured. That song just makes me ache. I may have to add that to my fic playlist. I wish I had "Shine on You Crazy Diamond," but iTunes won't let you buy just that one song. You have to buy the whole album and I don't have the fundage. Boo on them.

This insomnia thing is really getting on my nerves. It'd be nice to sleep more than five hours at a time, and this grabbing of an hour here and there by my body without my realising it is quite disconcerting. It's like having lost time. What really irks me is that I drank some very strong coffee pretty late in the evening with the intention of writing all night. I knew that I was going to have insomnia. Your body can just tell you these things. So I figured I'd fuel the ailment and take advantage of it. Instead, however, the body kept fading out of consciousness, even with the caffeine overload. Sometimes, I feel I can't win for losing.

Aunt Tudi and I have some errands to run later on this morning. Again, I'm overloading on caffeine so I won't be a menace on the road. I want to go and get it done and get back home before the thunderstorms start. We're due for a rough day and I'd prefer to be at home instead of on the road if a bad one comes along. I have to say that's one thing I like about the South ~ the thunderstorm. If I'd had my druthers, I would have become a storm chaser.

Okay, I'm off to write on this thing before my body decides to act the fool again.
tinhuviel: (Writer's Revenge)
Whee! I finally shut down around 11 last night and got up shortly after 5 this morning. Glorious sleep, albeit scrunched up on the love seat. Now, I'm listening to the playlist for the latest fic I was hijacked into writing and, yes, I'm writing it. And it's not because of anything anyone said to me or did to me. Although the collective, yet separate actions of others prompted me, it was something I said to someone the other day that compelled me to proceed.

"Nothing is unprintable. That's a law somewhere....and nothing should be unwritten."

So, in the end, I hijacked myself; therefore I must write.

Actually, I'm not writing on it yet. The entire story is in my head, so it shouldn't take very long once I get to rolling. It will pre-date The Nurse's Date which, chronologically, has always been the first in the series. And it will pre-date that story by several years, at least five or more. Nothing will be recognisable in this story. Even the music used for the construction of the plot is a little different, using Sting, Dave Matthews, the Everly Brothers, even ELO and Three Dog Night. Of course, we have the regular musical influences of the Prodigy (the only band that's helped me write both Maul and J fic. Maybe it's their underlying hint of rage...::she says wryly::). I'm just listening to the playlist to prepare for later. I've got some serious inspiration for this one. I can see her very clearly now, which is wholly necessary for J to see her correctly. He has her in his sights now. It won't be long now. Well, once I get to writing it, it won't.

For now, I have something else to write, which I hope to have completed today. I can't show it yet, if it ever sees the light of day, that is. If it does, when I can, it'll be available to anyone who wants to read it. That's the first order of business for the day.

Second is some detective work, trawling through thousands of grammatical train wrecks to find the few, glimmering survivors. My only problem is that I'm going to have to take numerous breaks to verbally throttle some people, which will end up making me take even more time I really don't have. But some people just need to be flicked between the eyes with forefinger and thumb. I know...reticent much? I'm just marking moments for my own reference later when I'm tromping through my burgeoning archive trying to find something. If it's not there, I can't find it, so here it be. When the inscrutability can be blown aside, I'll reference back to this post with a post that explains all.

Still working on the Joker Blogs site with the aim to make it like a Daft Punk song: "Harder Better Faster Stronger." And I had to take a bit of a break last night before I fell out to do a little business with [livejournal.com profile] gunslingaaahhh in this corner of the world. I swear, if I had the power to Force throttle by way of Teh Intarwebs, there'd be Admiral Ozzels lying about all over the world. If you get that reference, then that's why we're friends. Anyway...gotta keep the Dude's back. I can't stand it when uninformed nudnicks go skittering about like little bugs mouthing off about matters they know not.

As far as Force throttling, here's a happy little song passed on to me by [livejournal.com profile] booraven22.

cut for lyrics )

I'm really quite fond of that song. I see it as a kind of anthem. Maybe it'll be what we'll all hear when the Terrifying Squeegee of God (tm) comes to squitch humanity out of existence in...::checks watch::..a little less than 3.5 years. Wouldn't that be hilarious to hear this song ringing from...wherever and it be the last thing you ever hear? I think about these things.

Oh, I got sidetracked. This is what happens when I sleep after an insomnia jag.

After I work on the aforementioned projects, I'll work on the new Date. It won't be finished today, obviously. Maybe by the end of the week. And I find it kind of ironic that this first story in the chronology will be the last I write in the series. I know I've said that many times before, but I mean it this time. Seriously, I mean it. It's got to end. For me at least. J will always have to have dates, so somebody has to take up the torch. Maybe [livejournal.com profile] rancid_rainbow herself? Perhaps [livejournal.com profile] paisleydaze? Or you? I don't own J and I don't dictate his dating habits. It's a series. If it continues, no lawsuits will be forthcoming. I'm not big on the law and I hate suits, unless they're of the Zoot variety. If they are, please...call me ::makes hand phone sign and nods suggestively::

Okay, off to work. And a happy tip of the hat to you all. As Barry says, soonsoon!
tinhuviel: (Insomnia)

Starting at 5:07. I'm like that. Just...Like...That. I see "little bawls of sunshann in a bayug."

PR Ninja

Jul. 1st, 2009 05:16 am
tinhuviel: (Inconceivable)
I have been given a title in the Joker Blogs Brigade (or whatever our little pack of loons would be called): PR Ninja, apparently thanks to my Mad Writing Skillz Yo. This has been a day of Mad Skillz. A 48 hour day. And I actually found my way around the Administration Control Panel enough to make Patient #4479 a Global Moderator, so his posts wouldn't be screened on his own bloody forum aaaand, while I was at it, I added the rank of PR Ninja. Phade would be proud of me I think. Sometimes Phade frightens me, just with that name. Weren't there creatures in some fantasy novel series called Fades? Wasn't it the Wheel of Time series? Help an Existential Insomniac out.

I'm giving Aunt Tudi 30 more minutes before her insulin shot so, by the time I make it into bed for a quick snooze (if I'm lucky), I will have been awake for approximately 49 hours. After the snooze, I'm gonna get up and spread the word that Patient #4479 has posted to the board and folks might be interested in what he had to say, since he wasn't in character at the time. Lots of questions answered. They'll just have to find it. This dude is so cool. Such a rare talent and wise beyond his years. Absolutely an Old Soul, and a genuinely good soul. And that's something you don't often see a Professional Misanthrope concede. But it's true.

The colour has changed outside. A sure sign that big ball of hell in the sky is on the horizon. Time for me to sink into the shadows. I'm reminding myself of that VAST song, "I Am a Vampire." Time for me to take my broken wings and fly as far away from the day as I can, at least for a short period of time.


Jul. 1st, 2009 03:03 am
tinhuviel: (Insomnia)
I never tire of the wonders of Teh Intarwebs.

46 and counting and I don't care.
tinhuviel: (Nemesis)
Nothing like listening to "Hostage" by Shriekback in a pitch black room in the dead of night. Nothing like it all. Why do I do this to myself?

Your ridiculous fears, I know how to allay them.
I can smile and be sweet.
I will punish your crimes, I will warmly embrace you.
I will sing you to sleep.
Hush now.

I'm not sleeping. It's just not happening, not with lullabies like this. I'll die with my eyes wide open.
tinhuviel: (Caveman)
Got about four hours of very weird sleep under my belt. It was as though I were paralysed and in more of an unconscious state than actually being asleep. I woke up in the exact same position in which I fell asleep. I never even got to the Kevin Spacey portion of Se7en, which means I'll be terrorising Aunt Tudi with that movie sometime today. Se7en gives her seven shades of the creeps, which kinda makes me laugh and want to watch it in the living room as often as possible. Because I'm evil. BWAHAHAHA! In all seriousness, I need to get my sleep patterns back to some semblance of normalcy. I treat my lips with Lip Medex every night because I have trouble with chapped lips, but I can't bear to have anything on them when I'm awake. So my lips are extremely chapped, and I keep licking them as a result. The more I lick, the more chapped they get. Pretty soon, my lips are going to fall off.

I'm currently indulging in some hot milky English Breakfast tea and a dollop of chicken and rice. This is not the Breakfast of Champions; rather, it's the Runners-up Brunch. Later on, I'll be having the Supper of Losers. It just gets worse as the day goes along. If I happen to be up at midnight, and I probably will be, I'll have the Midnight Snack of Utter Fail. If I'm up later than that, and it's more than a little likely, I may sneak a bit of a Wee Hours of the Morning Munch of I Wish I Were Dead. And the days bleed into one another.... At least I have new designations for my body refueling interludes.

Oh, speaking of Aunt Tudi, I almost have her persuaded to make a webcam recording, so all you goons who aren't in the South can hear what a real Southern accent sounds like. I've muted mine considerably, but Aunt Tudi has just let herself go when it comes to the Southernisms. It's like I have a freakin' Steel Magnolia living with me. Barry Andrews fell in love with her accent when we all met. It was the only time I regretted working on ridding myself of the stigma of a thick accent. There's still the assumption, even amongst many Southerners, that a thick Southern accent is indicative of stupidity. That couldn't be further from the truth. I've met many a Southern idiot who barely had an accent and, by the same token, I've encountered highly intelligent individuals who sound like Gomer Pyle. When I started working on my accent in my teens, though, I was eschewing All Things Southern and was hellbent on embracing a higher form of English. Considering the area in which I live, I think I've done pretty well.

Today is the Harpist's birthday. He turns 43 today. For some reason, I keep getting reminders about his birthday every years. It's as though some dreadful deity gets a sick glee out of twisting the psychic knife of sorrow in my heart. So I won't be listening to Celtic music today, but I wasn't planning on it anyway. Today is a Shriek day, dedicated to catching my slack ass up on my writing goals. That said, I'll be around sporadically, since I'm gonna focus all my attention on The Blood Crown.

First, though, Aunt Tudi wants to see the latest turgid episode of The Joker Blogs because you know all too well I got her addicted to them.
tinhuviel: (It's Teh Alpaca Lips!)
I tried, but I can't. At least I have free HBO. Watching David Lynch's Dune. It's hokey and weird, but there are so many perfect scenes in it, involving Brad Dourif in particular. "It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion." ::sip:: Even though the Sci-Fi production of Dune was more true to the book, I still prefer David Lynch's interpretation. It's fun on so many levels and David Lynch is just plain weird, which is a good thing. Gods, I miss Twin Peaks! There was a show ahead of its time. The only thing rivaling its weirdness is LOST, which lives up to its name by making sure both the characters and the audience are thoroughly...lost. People ask me what LOST is about and I tell them "I have no idea. You have to watch for yourself and join me in my brutal, but oh-so-sweet confusion."

Babbling, I am! I'm so tired. Maybe I should try one more time. Maybe I should hit myself in the head with a cast iron frying pan.

Two hours

Jun. 11th, 2009 11:41 am
tinhuviel: (It's Teh Alpaca Lips!)
I've had two hours sleep and I'm raring to go! That's sarcasm. Why is it always two hours? I really want to know. Is there some unwritten cosmic law that I only get to sleep in jags of two hours? Who wrote the law? I want hunt them down and kick their asses. I just looked in the mirror and my eyes are red-rimmed and puffy. I look like the second pig in this video.

The Stoner Pig look just doesn't do it for me.

In other news, check the icon [livejournal.com profile] xevokitty made for me. I love it when folks get involved with the holy message of the Alpaca Lips! And that camelid is just funny as all Sith Hell. It needs a serious makeover. Then again, so do I. That and some sleep.
tinhuviel: (Caveman)
Again. Interesting night, though. Got some stuff done. Had nice conversation. Watched the dogs sleep. Now I'm thinking about trying it out myself. We'll see how much success I have.


Jun. 10th, 2009 06:43 pm
tinhuviel: (Ludicrous Speed)
I need a brilliant insomnia icon with some wide-open freaky eyes. Any takers?


Jun. 5th, 2009 11:35 pm
tinhuviel: (Joker_Blogs_Dude)
I slept for the majority of the day, a deep and dreamless sleep. Now my back is killing me and I feel like I've been hit by a bus. Gonna have some cheesy eggs, then see how I feel. Right now, I feel like I could go right back into bed and do it all over again, but we'll see. I may end up all night, but I've plenty of writing to do. There are just a little tweaks to be done on "To Whom It May Concern," then I can release my latest Joker fic, which is a manifesto of sorts, I guess. The story was driven by 'The Bastard Sons of Enoch' by Shriekback and 'Pandemonium' by Killing Joker (B and Colesy are really good friends and B is now signed on to the Killing Joke label, Malicious Damage). Seems we're all connected.

If I have the capacity to think, I'd like to work more on The Blood Crown. The first two chapters after the prologue are entitled 'The Veiled Shrine' and 'The Mother of Memory.' The next chapter will be called 'Reluctant Reunion,' and will re-introduced Orphaeus Cygnus. I may give him dreads this time. He's rather fond of his crimson locks, so why not let him enjoy them to their full potential, á la Mick Hucknall? It's all gonna be delicate writing, though. I need to maintain the poetic lilt of the story in keeping with The Chalice, but I also need to ensure Cadmus doesn't end up being straight man to Orphaeus' merry humour.
tinhuviel: (Inconceivable)
But only after a nap. It's hit me hard. I wonder if I'll ever wake up. I'm off for some z's with a capital Z.
tinhuviel: (Joker_Upside Down)
I got to sleep for six overnight. It's my Moon. I always get the Moon Sleepies. But I woke up feeling like deep fried ass with some Garmonbozia on the side. I'd prefer to curl up in a ball and nurse my aching body, but I have to take Aunt Tudi to the doctor at 2:30. And, when I get back, the writing needs to continue.

I'm really struggling with the story of Kelat's mother for some reason. All this is really old source material in my head that I've never written down. It seems like it's become such a part of me, it's like pulling eye teeth to get it all out. Once I have that part done, it should be smooth sailing with the arrival of Orphaeus, at least for a little while. I'm thinking about writing a prologue for the book to keep it in the same framework as the first one. So I may give the Pretani story a rest for today and work on that instead.

Aaaand, I want to look at "To Whom It May Concern" sometime today. Except for the beginning of it, the entire story is written in first person, from the Joker's point of view. What I have so far is very garbled, intentionally so to better communicate a hint of madness. Not complete madness, just a hint. Just enough to make a sociopath decide that blowing up a city is a great idea and actually following through with it. So yeah. Dark. Now that I've gotten some sleep, I feel much more comfortable exploring this again. This is not an erotic fanfiction, unless you think hate letters are erotic. If so, wait 'til you get a load of this.

Night Five

Jun. 3rd, 2009 06:56 am
tinhuviel: (Barry Exact Science)
As of 7 PM, I will have been awake for 27 hours on 2 hours of fitful sleep. I don't even feel tired anymore. It's like I'm right outside my body, just floating like a ghost. Maybe David Gilmour said it best: I have become comfortably numb. One of three things is gonna happen. I'm gonna finally fall out from exhaustion, drop dead from exhaustion, or lose my mind (one 'o' dumb people! You can't loose your mind. It's not on a frickin' leash!) and end up in a hospital, medicated, and sleeping. Did my work on The Blood Crown and reread what I have of "To Whom It May Concern," but I didn't do anything with the J-fic. It's percolating and not ripe yet.

The sun is up and the shadows on the walls keep moving in the peripheries of my vision. It's kinda creepy.

tinhuviel: (Cliffs of Insanity)
Early to bed
Early to rise
Makes a man healthy
Wealthy and wise

Late to bed
Early to rise
Makes the insomniac
Want to pluck out eyes

Her own, other people's eyes, it doesn't matter. I went to bed around 1:30 and the last time I looked at the clock, it was 3:30. I woke up at 5:30 and gave up trying to get back to sleep around 6 when Aunt Tudi got up to go to the bathroom. I just finished giving her her shot and feeding the dogs. Next, I'll feed the weasels. What?

So here I am!


Jun. 1st, 2009 09:59 pm
tinhuviel: (CadmusOrphaeus)
It's been decreed. I'm going to write at least 500 words a day on The Blood Crown for the month of June. Sort of a NaNoWriMo, but different. This is in addition to finishing the J-fic "To Whom It May Concern." So those here for the J-fics, don't get your panties in a wad. Hold on to your butts, I'm slow but sure, I promise.

I admire the folks on my list who blog for charity. If I could find a charity worthy of my rampant blogging, I'd do it in an instant. But human charities leave me cold for obvious reasons and that's why I leave such things in more capable hands. I don't think it'd..."appropriate"....for me to be writing every hour on the hour about how much I hate people and then ask for folks to donate to a charity that helps...people. Kinda hypocritic. So here's to you, people charity bloggers! It's Miller Time!

This laptop cooler thing is really working. The lappy is as cool as it was when I first turned it on. I think this is the key to our Magic Jack success.

Of all the movies out there, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 is the one drawing my attention at the mo. I'm not big on Denzel Washington (too goody-goody) nor John Travolta (I was around during his 'Welcome Back Kotter' days waaaay before Pulp Fiction, which kinda redeemed him, but not all the way), but the movie just looks good. I love suspense flicks, especially when one mastermind villain is pitted against a regular Joe (not the plumber...). Am I too hard on actors? I mean, here I am being all picky about Denzel Washington and John Travolta only a few days after reaming Christian Bale. Should I just turn a blind eye and enjoy the show? I wish I could, but it's not in me. When I look at John Travolta, I see Vinnie Barbarino, and I saw enough of him back in the 70s. Yeah, I wasn't much of a kid. I was a smaller version of myself with a much smaller vocabulary. It should be of note that I'm just as loyal to the actors I do like, like Linus Roache. I sort of fell away from the original Law & Order, but I'll watch it now because Linus is in it. Herbert Lom is another. The man could do no wrong while he was still acting. Sharon Stone won my eternal love and devotion when I saw her kick the shit out of Ahhhnold in Total Recall. There are exceptions. Ahhhnold, for instance. I don't like him, but I love many of his movies. Total Recall is in my top ten favourites of all time. I'm rambling, aren't I? All I really wanted to say is that I think I'd like to see The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3.

Just a minute ago, I felt the most incredibly painful sting on my arm. Looking down, I spied a fire ant. I picked it up whilst outside feeding the cats. This sucks. Tomorrow, I get to mow the grass and then put environmentally unfriendly fire ant killer on the mounds. But mowing the grass is gonna be tricky because the ants have formed attack battalions and are already well-organised, which means I'll have to run, screaming, as I push the mower at turbo speed, hoping that I out-trot the armies of killer fire ants hot on my pathetic heels. And people wonder why I call this place the Armpit of Hell. Wonder no more!

It looks to be a bit of a sleepless night tonight. Already almost 10 PM and still no sign of sleepiness. The body is weary, but the mind just rolls on. Goddess help me! If I have Fatal Familial Insomnia, I'm going to jump off a big tall building.

Betty White is Goddess incarnate, isn't she?
tinhuviel: (Joker Innocence)
I slept some last night, but never got in deep. It was one of those nights where I was asleep, but I knew I was asleep. My mind never stopped, going through songs, snippets of movies, math equations (I never can figure this out, because I can barely add 2 + 2, thank you Big Brother!), jots of writing, what have you. I'd rather not sleep at all than to have my mind racing constantly while it pretends to sleep. I always "wake up" with a pounding headache from clenching my teeth while my mind spins out of control. This is the third night in a row with no sleep to speak of. As a result, I snapped earlier with Aunt Tudi. She just kept pressing my buttons and refused to leave me alone about getting things done but, when your body refuses to move and your mind is just not working, it's kind of hard to get things done. And I lost my temper. We had a screamfest, which is really unusual for me. I'm not a shouter. I tend to just nod and smile and calmly request that I not be yelled at because the Father Unit used to yell when I was a kid and it kinda developed in me an aversion to such behaviour. But I really snapped and I said - no, I shouted - some really out of line things at Aunt Tudi. What distressed me even more were some of my mannerisms when I lost it. Not a good sign. Anyway, that was about 4 hours ago and she's been asleep for the most part ever since. When she woke up a couple of hours ago, I apologised. She did the same, then turned over on the couch and went back to sleep.

I'd give the world to sleep like that. I'd sell my soul. I'd do anything, anything, anything for a good night's sleep.
tinhuviel: (Cadmus)
I don't agree, but it is good for the creative spirit, at least sometimes. There are nights where I do nothing at all, just staring at nothing as the TV rages on, my jaw slack and my eyelids sliding roughly over my dried out eyeballs. Last night and early this morning, though, I finally figured out why Faust was of such interest to Cadmus, I started a new Joker fic, I read an incredible multi-chapter Joker fic entitled Fugue (and I'm chomping at the bit for more chapters now, dammit), and I wrote out more Tarmian background in preparation to introduce the Apostate.

And I did all this while periodically checking Twitter to see the further adventures of Blog Boy. To those of you who are interested, the pictures I posted last night of Gonzo and Duke are actually Blog Boy out of the clown make-up and a co-conspirator. So now you know, if you didn't already, which you probably did, so that's okay.

Tonight I probably won't be so productive. I drug myself out of bed this morning and I'm so exhausted, I can barely move. One of two things will happen tonight. I'll either pass out in a fit of weariness too strong for even my racing mind and body to ward off, or I'll go catatonic, staring at something inane on TV, not really seeing it all. I hate insomnia. I'd give anything for a good night's rest. Anything, if I had it to give.
tinhuviel: (Barry Interview)
The vicious Vampire will eat me.

Writing something very dark. Poking my Inner Misanthrope with a stick out of the Cure's "Forest." Cadmus is right around the corner, I just know it. He's been waiting for me to tell the story of what he did to Faust during the Summer of Sam. Poor Faust, defining himself in the age of Disco, only to end up in a squalid room being vivisected over and over again by the Abomination. Why? He had just a shred of information about the Blood Crown, young little inexperienced Faust, who'd chanced upon knowledge not even the Eldest of the Upyr knew. Cadmus could have asked him about it and he would have told freely. But Cadmus never did that. He chose to lay the young vampire open night after unholy night and say to him simply as he licked the blood from his organs and bowels, "Tell me what you know." It was up to Faust to figure out what exactly he knew, or the agony would continue indefinitely.

But I'm not writing Cadmus. Not yet.

I'm still hung up on Joker. He's not through with me yet, but he is coming through as extremely dark, and I think that's Cadmus' influence. He even quotes lines from "The Bastard Son of Enoch." That's a sure sign of Cadmus strolling about in my head, studying this new intruder. But the Joker doesn't notice him, not because he can't, but because he chooses not to. He has his own agenda, a little "To Whom It May Concern" that needs to be written. He could have chosen someone else, as there are plenty of eager fanfic writers out there chomping at the bit to get their mental mitts on a new J-inspired "masterpiece." But nooooo, he can't seem to leave me alone, even though I retired 'The Date Series,' which was far from "masterpiece" material. I thought "The Archetype" would be my last. Not quite.

Maybe this one will be it and I can work on laying my tragic Faust to rest...so to speak. ::glares at Cadmus, who just glares right back and taps his wrist where a watch may rest::

Mighty Mother....
tinhuviel: (Basil Fawlty)
Mike & Ikes should be renamed Fruit Bullets. They look like bullets and they provide a shot of fruity flavour lie whoa! Yeah. Fruit Bullets.

We got Aunt Tudi's A/C today. 10,000 btus of super-charged glacial power right outta Wally World! But we can't install it right yet. The window frame has been compromised by the A/C that's currently in there. Its mechanical issues caused a great deal of moisture, especially on the sill itself. So we're going to have to wait on Little Michael to come out and assess the damage. Hopefully he'll be able to repair it and install the new A/C pronto-like. In the meantime, we're still waiting the 90-degree temps that will arrive in a couple of days, according to the Weather Channel. Nothing is simple in these here parts.

Aunt Tudi just found a spider on the couch. She killed it. One of these days, something much larger than Aunt Tudi is going to squoosh her for scampering across the wrong bit of turf at the wrong time. Karma ~ she's a byotch. And not only that, her cadaver will be flicked to one side by her killer's gigantic middle finger. It'll be gruesome. She'll earn the same respect she bestowed upon that poor arachnid. ::moment of silence::

I'm so sleepy. Maybe I should ramble incoherently the old-fashioned way, by using my loud mouth and bad attitude. But, no. I have to write it all out here and make good people suffer just because I'm weary beyond comprehension. Watching Law & Order: Any of the Spin-offs and writing out my exhaustion and frustration seems to be my ideal medium of expression.

That's it. I can't deal anymore. I.must.go.to.bed. NOW.
tinhuviel: (Kowalski)
My eyes are red-rimmed and my eyelids are thick, sore, spongy, and generally unattractive. And I don't give one half a rat's pa-too-tay. All I care about is trying to get some sleep tonight, after having been lucky to get three very restless hours last night, from a little after 11 until right at 2 AM.

The worst disease ever is Fatal Familial Insomnia. I'd rather contract Ebola and have my eyes bleed than to be in the hell that is sleeplessness. At least with Ebola, you're certain of the Big Sleep in short form. With FFI, you linger for weeks, even months, until you drop dead, crazed and certainly unpleasant to be around. I've missed one night's sleep and I'm already unpleasant to be around. Come to think, I was unpleasant to be around before missing sleep.

Well, I guess you could say that I'm not very much changed from pre-insomnia to post-insomnia, except for sporting the spongy lids and that vague desperation for shut-eye. Oh, and the sick fascination with FFI that always rears its ugly head every time I spend a pleasant evening staring into the darkness while everyone around me saws logs with enthusiasm. I think I need to hunt down that old Faithless song.
tinhuviel: (Chaos)
I got up relatively early today simply because I didn't sleep last night at all. Goddess bless insomnia!

I went to the PO, then had to go back to the PO because of a screw up, I'm not sure on whose part, the USPS or mine. Probably mine, but the USPS is definitely not out of the running here.

Then I took Aunt Tudi and went to Ingles for groceries. Whilst there, we picked up a gigantic ape to put in the back seat of the car. It's a large black gorilla (my dreams) and big enough to wear the seat belt. Years ago, I kept a stuffed orangutan in the back seat of the car until he basically fell apart from exposure.

While at Ingles, I got a call from [livejournal.com profile] mekkasimian and we set up a time for me to meet him at GSP and take him back to the new abode. [livejournal.com profile] aunt_tudi wanted to ride with me 'cos she just loves road trips and I don't think she's ever been to Clemson, so this will be an adventure for her. I won't be putting Fred (my new ape) in the car until after I take [livejournal.com profile] mekkasimian home 'cos I think that'd just be tacky of me to do that, since he's a biomechanical ape and all. But I'll be taking pictures of Fred once he's belted in and ready to roll.

I'll be going to see Llew here in about 25 minutes. He starts babysitting at 4, so I won't be staying very long. After that, I'm hoping to come home and work more on my video database.

And I'm going to bed early tonight. I'm one sleepy old crone.
tinhuviel: (Dave Matthews)
The last time I looked at the clock, it was 2:30. The next time I looked at the clock, it was 5:00. I never really got to sleep. My mind kept repeating the chorus to "Ring of Fire" over and over and over and over and over and overand over....and over.....

Am now having a hot chocolate with a spoon of freeze dried coffee in. It's mochalicious.

Also, I'm watching From Hell for the umpteenth hundredth time. While watching Johnny Depp prepare his laudanum and Absinthe mixture, I got to thinking of Demon Boy and how he lauded the wonders of Absinthe. Then I got to thinking about how he, too, was writing a vampire story. We had an inordinate amount of things in common, yet he frightened me beyond reason. Perhaps it's because I frighten myself.

So I linked From Hell to Demon Boy and Absinthe to vampires to Cadmus to my own sick psyche and there I am. That's how my mind works.

For instance, there's a new kitten on the hill. He's a ginger cat and has a half tail just like Smidgen. The difference is he's a boy and he can move his little stump. So I was thinking about what I could name him and I figured I should link him up with Smidgen since they're obviously related and he looks so much like her, not to mention he exhibits her own sweet nature. So I started out with "Smidgen" and thought "Pigeon" then "Stidgen" then "Sturgeon," so I named him Theodore. *wibble*

Upon viewing the lovely lobotomy in From Hell, I have decided that the Redeye Grandé is the modern equivalent to a Victorian brain procedure. I feel thoroughly lobotomised and am compelled to curl up in the corner of a filthy, feces strewn back room of an old English asylum.

My nose and toes are quite chilly, but the rest of me is comfy save for a pulled muscle in my left shoulder. Why is it always my left side that gives me problems? Sometimes I think that, if I could saw myself in half and dispose of my left side, I'd feel lots better.

Today's agenda: go pay bills and take Aunt Tudi to her lung doctor. I also need to run by the store and pick up a couple of things for the upcoming trip to NYC. I can't believe it's come up so quickly. Oh, and I need to write my homies at RCA and see what the plan is for next week. Verily must I meet the folks with whom I suffered so much terror in The Pit. We've much to discuss and we're due quite a few weeps on each other's shoulders. I wonder if they'll have Dave Matthews for me as a wee giftie? That'd be grand.

August 2017

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