"I long for a grapefruit" (Exhaustion-induced Ramble from Hell)

I do not want to be here at Telehell tonight. Please help! Aaarrrrgh! At least I have Eddie to keep me company tonight. Oh, yeah, I brought my precious Eddie Izzard tape and am planning on yucking it up here in just a little while. His brand of insanity is exactly what I need tonight because I'm feeling pretty quirky.

I'm almost finished with the Dougie tape for piperdawn. No, dear, I hadn't forgotten! I've just been busy with my Procrastinators Anonymous meetings. Steph is my sponsor, bless her.

Earlier today I got the advice from a chick on obesityhelp.com that I call Care Coordination at UHC on Monday. Customer service won't know anything about my claim, apparently, because it's a pre-certifiction. So, I'm counting the hours until Monday at 9. I dreamt last night that I got the surgery and could see the weight just melting off me, like it was a time-lapse film. Very surreal and a sure indication that I'm obsessing way to much over this. I need to calm down! OCD sucks sometimes.

On a completely different subject, my favourite commercial on TV right now is the Cingular Wireless commercial with Sasquatch. I find it undeniably hilarious to see Bigfoot doing a little jig in the forest in front of this geek, singing "You ain't got no camera, you ain't got no camera" (sung to the neener neener neener song). It fucking rocks and I refuse to be swayed in my opinion.

I still have this cough. It sounds as if I am suffering from consumption. If this was 1930, I'd be carted off to a Tuberculosis colony.
( And fish in the sky and a big monkey pie )

Engelbert Slaptiback

The comedy is good when, after having seen a show a bezillion times before, you can still laugh out loud all by yourself in the middle of the night when watching it one more time.

The Exorcist

A lady just called on our Catholic Church line wanting a priest to get in touch with her as soon as possible. She said that her husband is experiencing some form of demonic possession. What's weird is that I could hear him in the background making all sorts of bizarre noises and screaming out in pain. Now, I'm not supposed to call Father except on death and illness calls for members of his parish. These folks aren't members, it seems, and I'm not certain that demonic possession could be considered an illness.

Maybe this is just another prank call like Mr. Lounge Lizard from last week.

"Tubular Bells" is echoing in my mind now.