Joke Spam

The Mother Unit sent this to me and I have to keep it 'cos it's too damned funny.
( Hollywood Squares )

Starting off with a Bang!

I leave work an hour or so early and all hell breaks loose, thanks to fucking morons. The little shit that had the audacity to demand something of me a couple of days ago decided to terrorise Joanie in my absence about a Kings of Leon mailing. I just wrote him this letter and copied Joanie and his boss on it. Let him get cheeky with me or any of my homies again.....I will make his life a living fucking hell. Pinhead has nothing on me when I'm angry enough.

Hi Chad,
Joanie told me called yesterday about the Kings of Leon mailing. Like I had told you earlier this week, the KoL mailing was scheduled to ship out on 2/17. The warehouse has to have enough time to put the press kits together for these projects, so the normal processing time is 2 to 3 days. This mailing *did* ship out yesterday as I projected. The Kasabian mailing is slated to ship on Monday.
Due to my workload, I am unable to get back with you to let you know exactly when these press kit mailings ship out. I am responsible not only for your press kit mailings, but also for the entire promotional division of RMG, as well as RCA Label Group, Wind Up Records, and Point of Purchase for all labels. I can give you a projected time when your mailings will ship and 98% of the time, that will be when they ship, if not sooner. This is the best I can do for you.
The other people in my department are not aware of how I handle my mailings. They can only give the information that they see in the system and, depending on the status of a project in the warehouse and the backlog of data entry out there, this information might not be the latest information. If it is suggested that you need to speak with me to confirm such information, it's probably because the data provided is unclear and probably not what you need.
Thanks,
Tracy

Friday Quiz Salvage Operation

In a vain effort to save the mood for the remainder of the day, I post happy little quizzes that I've collected all week.
( happy little quizzes, so smile dammit! )

Loonatics

So here's a picture that better displays the perversion of all our beloved Warner Brothers cartoon characters. My only relief is that they haven't done anything like this to Marvin the Martian. I may go postal if that happens.

Instructions on an order

This...THIS is what I have to deal with:

"Please overnight 2-Day"

GAH!!!

Vin-derful~

Steph has been waiting for these. I have 17 of them, but I'm not posting all of them at once. This way, more Vin goodness can be anticipated with bated breath and dancing privvies.
( Viiiiiin..... )

Quizzathon Part Deux

I don't normally do this, but I'm gonna this Friday.
( deal with it )

Homebase Jibber-Jabber

Left work at 5, picked up Aunt Tudi and rode into Duncan for a couple of items we forgot at the store yesterday, came back and dropped in on Uncle Michael and Janice, and made it home a little before 7.

Earlier today, I spoke with a still distraught (and quite understandably so) sri3m on the phone and she said to look for her on Yahoo! a few hours later. I did. She's not there. In my worry, I do find a seedling of confidence that she's as all right as she can be right now and will get better with time. I'll be trying to call her over the weekend. That's saying a lot, since I usually don't touch the fucking phone on the weekends.

Before I left work, I had a long talk with Gene, who is more than likely leaving RCA in the next couple of weeks. He's one of the Good Ones and, believe me, they're few and far between. Right now my list is, in no particular order:

• Gene


• Bridget


• Mike


• Allan


• Deb


• Brian


• Damien


• Joan


• Chris


• Eliot


• Stuart

It hurts me that Gene is leaving. Of all of them, he's the one who groks me on my Bitter Level. That means a lot. He told me that he wouldn't miss the place, but that he would miss Bridget. I can understand that 'cos Bridget is so damned cool and sweet, which is always a great combination. We plan on someday running off to Canada together. Ha!

But I ramble...and badly at that.

Erm.....lessee.....OH! green_goblin70 came by shortly after lunch today and brought me a box of Girl Scout Trefoils. He's selling cookies because he's a girl scout now. HAHAHAH. No, his daughter is one of the troop. Anyways, he wanted me to wriggle the box of cookies under everyone's nose to encourage them to want to buy the tasty wee treats. It worked. I have him some hook-ups lined up for Monday and/or Tuesday. He can't sell them, though, unless he comes in his girl scout uniform. How kinky would that be? As for my box of cookies, I gave 'em to Aunt Tudi. It made her very happy.

Battlestar Galactica comes on tonight and I'm going to try my best to stay awake long enough to watch it. My Moon sleepies are upon me, though, so it's gonna be rough going. I do have my taped Tonight Show with Dave Matthews to ogle, so I may start watching that around nine just to get my heart to pumping with a little more vim.

Tomorrow, Llew is coming over. He may even check out my plumbing problem and says he might be able to fix it for me instead of my having to call a plumber. That would be a blessing. A BIG ole blessing. Hell, that would make up for V-day. Almost.

Also due tomorrow is Steph, who may or may not have gotten The Sentinel in the mail from Netflix today. She's never seen this little gem, but I have. I saw it when I was a kid, and it scared the living, screaming shit outta me. That and Burnt Offerings freaked my pudgy little 10-year old arse out....but I still love Burgess Meredith, may he rest in peace.

Ah, I almost forgot. While on the road in Duncan, stopped at one of our few redlights, I looked over to the vehicle beside me. It was a huge, dark blue Ford F-150 XL with a honkin' silver tool box in the back. Driving the truck was your typical Good Ole Boy: ball cap, moustache, plaid shirt, flinty gaze. The one thing that distinguished this dude, though, was the big red heart-shaped lollipop he was enthusiastically tonguing. You just don't see that every day. Redneck Valentines!

And one more thing. The sign in front of Ingles Grocery is advertising Dixie Crystals sugar on sale this week. I misread it as Dark Crystal at first. Now I have this idea of doing some screen caps of The Dark Crystal, retelling the story Southern-style, and calling it The Dixie Crystal. If I have the time and inclination, that's a-whut Ahm gonna do.

Aunt Flo is demanding I have a lie down. Stick a fork in me, for I am did.

**this post was not spell-checked or proofread. I may do that later. I can't be sussed for now.

wide grins

I may have to drag out my Dukes CD over the weekend.

Battlestar Galactica

Although I missed the first twenty minutes of it, what I did get to see was incredibly intense and downright fabulous. Fortunately, Aunt Tudi had the insight to tape the show, so I'm off to watch the whole thing over again and fall asleep on the couch.