Starving Artist

Four weeks from today, I'll be wandering about the house trying to figure out what to do next. I won't be going back to The Pit the next day. An over 18 -year habit will be broken. It feels weird already. Just really weird.

During my unemployment, I'm thinking seriously of founding a Barbarian Horde, so like-minded folks and I can go raping and pillaging the countryside on horseback. The Rednecks around here won't know what hit them. They'd be flabbergasted at having had their butts kicked by a bunch of fur-clad anti-social women and men wearing big horn hats and carrying fabulous swords. We would have to be called something though. The Huns, the Mongol Horde, and The Goths already used the three best Barbarian names. Maybe we could be called the Thundering Gloom, or something equally as wrothful.

I got this quiz from both piperdawn and shrijani.

( yes, I am defective )

The FYI (psycho fan girl rant of doom part 1)

I wrote to Barry:

Today I received my tentative exit date from BMG, 26 August. Given that date, I'm looking at mid-November to fly over to England. Will be staying with Tallis, but would like to shake your hand and scamper off if you have the time during the week I'll be there. I'm looking at flying over on the 10th and leaving the 18th before American airfares go up for Thanksgiving. So....wow. It may actually happen. Here's hoping I don't make a complete schlemiel of myself.

He replied, saying (and I paraphrase) that it would be great to finally see me.

I just know that I'm going to make an utter idiot of myself. I'm gonna let my phobia get the better of me and just freak out, and not in a Chic way. The more I think about it, the uneasier I become. falkenna swears I'll feel differently once I've actually met him. Me'Shel'le was also very vocal about how wonderful a soul he is. So....::deep gulp::....

::counts months on fingers::

Three months. By the time comes for me to take the trip, I'm going to be a basket case. Ehm...yeah. Well, at least falkenna will be there, so I feel better about it on a certain level.

Talk about one's imagination getting away with them. Really, it's actually quite pathetic.

I imagine that I'll be making quite a few of these "talk-down-the-psycho-tin" posts between now and the day I meet Barry Andrews. I mean, why can't I just be a squealing brainless fangirl with no fear in my skin cells? Why do I have to be fascinated with someone who scares the bejeebus outta me? Why can't I just be fecking normal?

Before the trip, I'm asking the doctor for some nerve pills. ::firm nods:: Yeah, that's the ticket.

In the meantime, I'll just make a schlemiel of myself in my journal so as to avoid it when I come face to face with....him.