Impossible

I got up at the crack of dawn in order to get some proofreading done. Who should get up with me but Aunt Tudi, who wants to chit-chat about what-the-fuck-ever. Guess who can't get any proofreading done?

It's days like this I wish I lived alone. There's so much I could get done if I weren't being a door person to 500 animals or being a sounding board to inane chatter about nothing that interests me in the least. I think this is where my Inner Sociopath comes in, 'cos I can see Aunt Tudi shying away from me just from my looking at her when she starts to talk. To me, it's nothing but a blank stare but, to her, I guess it's a predatory gaze. I must admit, I'm having predatory thoughts. I want to be left alone. I want to get what I need to do done, and she's standing in my way. Her and all these animals.

It's on days like this I want my insomnia back. At least then I'm able to get what I need to do done without being bothered with ridiculous prattle or the menagerie wanting crap every other minute.

Cross-eyed and Miserable

I've been proofreading all day long. On top of that, some friends came over and I probably wasn't the best hostess, being pie-eyed and devoid of sleep. Once everything is edited and ready, I'll feel so much better. It's the Virgo in me. It's written, so it needs to be polished. Over and over and over again.

I'm thinking that the major re-writes will be with The Augury of Gideon because I wrote that manuscript so swiftly with the aid of unholy energy drinks and Aunt Tudi's kerosene. Not to mention a wee tad of Scottish Breakfast Tea just to clock it up a notch. 0_o

I'm on page 191 of 207. I may wait to finish proofing this and add a couple of goodies in there about the Apostate. Andy will be proud. Not that he'll ever know.

Complete

I've completed the second draft of The Blood Crown manuscript. I sent it along to gunslingaaahhh and copied myself, so it'll be safe and sound in the event my computer goes kersplat (::knocks wood in fright::). I called her a hosebeast in the email, which I'm sure will endear me to her even more than I already have.

This manuscript contains approximately 30,000 words of an extremely personal and agonising writing on my part. I just hope that what happened during the Summer of Sam pulls the same kinds of emotions from people that it did from me. I still can't thank gunslingaaahhh and luvthyjoker enough for their input and support during that time last year. I really believe that Tish's misunderstanding of what was going on with me creatively is what made her pull away from me and allude to acook and scottmcclure that I was crazy. I lost friends because of this particular manuscript, but I found out who my real friends were. It's important to know that.

"The Sainted Confessor" will always bring me great happiness, pain, and melancholia. Creating something shouldn't have to be like this, but it often is, especially if you're what gunslingaaahhh calls a method writer. It's not the happiest of places to be, but it can be oh-so-very glorious when it works well. There are some significant portions of The Blood Crown with which I'm more than a little happy.

The book is written, but my desire to try to make things right, to not be so "crazy" while I was in my creative zone, drags me down to this day. The ache of how things happened will quite possibly wrap around me like a wet sheet and sink into my skin, forever a part of me.

Sock it Me, People. You know it's long overdue...

Orright! Here's where you get to tell me what you think of me. You have the option of remaining anonymous and requesting what you say not be plastered all over my profile page. 'Tis up to you. But I wanna know what you think.

[Poll #1584398]