Bullying

I hate it.

I was bullied for being the fat kid. I didn't have a name among the classes, the great throng of youth into which I was thrust at the age of 5. I was "fattiie" or "fatso" or "that fat kid." I was watched like a hawk at lunch and derided with every bite I took. By the time I reached junior high, I stopped eating lunch. I'd save my money for music, which worked out pretty well.

I watched others get bullied, but was too cowed myself to come to anyone's defense. I hated the people who bullied us square pegs. I had fantasies of their demise at my hands.

That being said, I can understand it when a kid takes a weapon to school, or when some "tragedy" like Columbine happens. The people targeted there were the cheerleaders, football players, so-called Christians, and the rich kids. These are the kids who usually bully, feeling entitled to do anything they please to anyone they please because they are the poster children of the best in society. For the most part, these kids behave in a manner that deserves capital punishment.

That may be extreme, but coming from someone who fantasized about killing my tormentors, it's often the final solution.

So there's more than one reason to stop the bullying. The suicide of these kids who aren't strong enough to deal with the perpetual onslaught and the murder of the mediocre elite by those kids who have enough and decide that payback is going to be a bitch that fateful day.

And to all those out there who were bullied along with me, who suffered in silence and bent your head down when someone else was catching it instead of you, know that you are loved by me. I feel a kinship with you and you will always be my brothers and sisters, no matter what.

That Music Meme

Day 1: Your favourite song - "Despite Dense Weed" by Shriekback
Day 2: A Song that Makes You Cry - Pippin's song from "The Lord of the Rings"
Day 3: A song that makes you dance. - "Daylight" by Matt & Kim
Day 4: Your favorite male singer. - Jeff Lynne, hands down.
Day 5: Your favorite female singer. - Johnette Napolitano

Day 6: Your favorite band. - Shriekback

Behold the greatness of the Shrieks!

That is the song by which they're mostly recognised, but they're so much more. They've been making music since 1981, bringing a dark funk sound to the world that had never before been heard. But I didn't hear of them until 1990 when Aunt Tudi taped the above video from MTV's 120 Minutes. My life literally changed when I saw the music video. The band re-wired my mind and jump-started my writing of what would eventually become The Chalice. It's what finally drove me to England, where I met one of the core members of the band, Barry Andrews. He's the one singing in the video.

Even though they don't identify as being Goth, the Goth community seems to have embraced Shriekback. They're labeled as Goth in record stores and on sites like eBay. I really don't label them as Goth myself, even though Barry labels me as Goth (harrumph!). Their music is difficult to label because it embraces so many different styles, from funk to dub to dance to ethnic. I believe that's their pull for many people. The band itself has four core members: Dave Allen, Barry Andrews, Carl Marsh, and Martyn Barker. Calling themselves a collective, the Shrieks membership would swell and shrink as needed. Making an album was always an experience and an experiment. Their passion and artistry shine through on every album.

A new album is scheduled to come out in the Autumn of this year. I've heard some of the tracks and did a tentative song-by-song for the ones afforded me. When the new album comes out, I'll be writing up an official song-by-song for the band. It's what I've done for years and, in part, what has earned me the title of Shriekback Chronicler. I can deal with that name. In the meantime, here are the lyrics to 'Nemesis,' and if you have any questions about the band, feel free to ask, as I probably know.

In a jungle of the senses
Tinkerbell and Jack the Ripper
Love has no meaning, not where we come from
But we know pleasure is not that simple
Very little fruit is forbidden
Sometimes we wobble, sometimes we're strong
But you know evil is an exact science
Being carefully correctly wrong

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home

We feel like Greeks, we feel like Romans
Centaurs and monkeys just cluster round us
We drink elixirs that we refine
From the juices of the dying
We are no monsters, we're moral people
And yet we have the strength to do this
This is the splendour of our achievement
Call in the airstrike with a poison kiss

How bad it gets you can't imagine
The burning wakes, the breath of reptiles
God is not mocked, he knows our business
Karma could take us at any moment
Cover him up I think we're finished
You know it's never been so exotic
But I don't know my dreams are vicious
We could still end up with the great big fishes

( more to come )

Indian Summer, Come and Gone

The days are pleasant and the nights are wonderfully crisp, cool enough you can see your breath as you shudder and pull your flannel closer around you. I love weather like this. It's so rare in South Carolina but, in the mountains of North Carolina, there is an abundance of blessed days such as this. We're supposed to go to Asheville later on this month to meet up with falkenna, janalyson, and paulpearson23. clumsycake and Diane will probably go with us. I'm also going to Malaprops and talk to them about selling my book and possibly arranging a book signing. I think they'll be excited that they're mentioned in The Chalice. I wish I could have extended that scene, but I think it works the way it is. So I am looking forward to a trip to a beautiful place that will be at the height of its painting-perfect pique, meeting up with good friends, and attempting to exude some enthusiasm about the book to the manager of Malaprops. We don't know the date yet but, when we do, I'm sure I'll get all excited about it, dreaming of that crisp, clean Autumn mountain air.