The Trip to Asheville

The entire family is going, unlike when Granny died.  When we scattered her ashes, it was just Aunt Tudi, Uncle Michael, Janice, and myself.  Granny was loved and honoured, but Aunt Tudi was cherished by so many.  Stephanie is going with us.  She was incredibly close to Aunt Tudi and I think she would have wanted to be there.  Afterward, we may go downtown and then get a bite to eat, letting the rest of the family go where they may.  We want to tread the paths that Aunt Tudi taught us.  We need to embrace her spirit in her beloved hometown.

I'm sure I'll get lost, but I'll eventually find my way.  I'm counting on Aunt Tudi's spirit to guide me back to South Carolina, away from my home that I wish I knew better.  I have decided to go there more often and learn the secret paths of the mountain town.  I want know it the way Aunt Tudi knew it.  I want to be a part of it the way I used to be.  It's the only way I feel I can be truly close to Aunt Tudi.

She never wanted to die in South Carolina.  She did not get her wish.  For that, I will always be regretful.  At least her cremains will rest in the beloved Smoky Mountains and her spirit will drift wherever it wishes.  I hope she'll spend some time with me.

Symbols

The family and some friends went up to Craggy Gardens on the Blue Ridge Parkway and scattered Aunt Tudi's ashes. We also scattered the ashes of her beloved dog Sheba and I poured two litres of 7-Up upon the site, since that was Aunt Tudi's favourite drink that she drank all the time. I then took the kids, Steven, and Blake's girlfriend up the Faery path so that they could see some of the suspected Faery homes that are nestled along the path.

Upon my return, I found crosses etched all over the stone that marked where we scattered Aunt Tudi's ashes. I hid my hurt and rage at this, since Aunt Tudi was most definitely not an xtian, so I asked for the scissors Janice used to etch the crossed into the stone, and I carved a Pentagram and a Triskele into the stone in amongst the crosses. This would balance out the variety of faiths to which Aunt Tudi had been exposed and the bits of each religious tenet she took with her and found relevant to her own path. If I could have remembered it, I would have etched the symbol for the Unitarian Universalist Church on the stone because, if she were anything, it was that to which she was closest. I'm going to get that symbol and return to the stone to etch it into the rock for her, because that church was very important to her.

I thank Lady Neith for that and I always will.

After the scattering and before the Faery walk, we all said something in Aunt Tudi's honour. Little Michael and I were the last to speak. He offered up prayer to the xtian God, then I spoke of mine and Aunt Tudi's relationship, her system of belief, and then I recited "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" by Mary E. Frye. I handled it all pretty well and hugged tightly those who lost it, especially Blake, who had always been very close to Aunt Tudi.

I'm spending the night at home tonight, by myself. The spirit of Aunt Tudi is with me and I don't feel so terribly haunted and wounded. A strange peace has settled over me for right now, like I'm blanketed by the Goddess and she is coming to me in the form of Aunt Tudi. I'm going to stay here on the love seat and watch TV until I fall asleep and then, tomorrow, I'm going to a cookout with the family after I try to get the house in order. It's been almost two weeks now since anything has been done, and the house looks like a pipe bomb has gone off in it.

It's time to get myself together and get ready to leave for a while to help in the healing and to reunite with loved ones I have not seen in much too long a time.