tinhuviel: (Spork)
[personal profile] tinhuviel
In the late 80s, I saw the movie Jumpin Jack Flash. I was so impressed with the character of Terri Dolittle, I decided right then and there that, if I ever found myself in a dead end bank job, I would decorate my desk to the point of the absurd, just to express my personality and piss off my boss (if my boss was a prick). Well, lucky me! I ended up in that dead end job in 1997 only it wasn't a bank, it was the music industry, and my boss was a complete and utter prick from hell. The Feudal Mistress was a sparse decorator because she had no bloody imagination. So I set to decorating. My cube was right outside her office so it was like having the bastard child of Salvador Dali and Fred Sanford sitting on her doorstep at all times. I'm sure she would have fired me if she could have, but I was the best special orders rep she had, handling all the large and difficult accounts. If I left, that would have meant she would have actually had to do some work, a lot of which she didn't didn't know how to do. It took years to collect everything I ended up having, yet only a few days to dismantle the mess. And I just found the pictures I took prior to moving out in 2005. So here 'tis, my homage to Whoopi Goldberg's madness in Jumpin' Jack Flash.


The outside of my cube, which faced my boss' office door. As you can see, I have a pic of Jet Li as Wah Sing Kuh with his infamous line "In Hong Kong, you'd already be dead." Yes, it was a message. There's Pinhead, a threat of 'Set to Explode,' which was was a promo piece, but fit nicely into my motif of "I will snap and kill you all." The promo card for the reissue of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. An illustration of myself as Reptile, one of my nicknames. Note the tee shirt. I've had that tee a long time. A print out of Darth Maul with the caption: "That which does not kill you is defective and should be returned to the manufacturer." Joker should have taken that to heart with some of his toys, like that bazooka. Useless, totally useless. That weird yellow stuff at the top right is mummified mistletoe. It wasn't there so I could get snogged. It was there from a previous Alban Arthan celebration. The Feudal Mistress hated that I was a Witch, which made me mention it even more because I'm vindictive. Let's move on.
cube1
At the top of the cube is my ongoing campaign Senator Palpatine elected to the presidency. And there's good ole Lula'a'keia'Lani, the Hawaiian Tiki Goddess of Loose Change. She had a little sign that said, "insert coins and make a wish." I may still have around $10 in there, just from [livejournal.com profile] gypsyboy70's silly wishes aimed to irk me. And they did, because he's irksome.  She bought us lunch more than once!  Moving down to the my top shelf, we find Doctor Octopus. Yes, I was a major Doc Ock fan. There's something about eight-limbed men with Ray Bans and man boobs that makes me wibble. And there's Jack Skellington holding a rose someone gave me. Who said Sith couldn't be romantic. On the wall behind them is a flat of Weird Al Yankovic from 'The Saga Begins' promotional campaign. Those were the days! Oh, also, next to Doc Ock is my Ninja Hamster that sang "Kung Fu Fighting" when turned on. That was always a hit with the Feudal Mistress.
cube2
More of the top shelf. More promo flats of which I was fond. The Broadway soundtrack for "Rocky Horror Picture Show" was a tanker, but I liked the looks of their Frank (nothing like Tim Curry, but beggars can't be choosers). There's my radio/CD player. I'm sure everyone was sick of Shriekback and Dave Matthews by the time it was all over. Oh, and see that stack of papers to the left? All those are old communications I was afraid to toss for fear that I might get blamed for a failed promotion. This was my proof basket. That's a hard way to live. Now... dangling by tape from the top shelf, we have pictures of Christopher Meloni, Alan Rickman, and Shriekback. Taped to the top of my monitor there is a picture of Dave Matthews. You'll see more of him, trust me.
cube3
Moving further left, you'll see my handy-dandy dictionary and thesaurus. One can't live without these. Also there's my Demonique bobblehead and devil photo frame given to me by My Friend Todd. the picture in the frame actually is Todd because he's evil incarnate. On the far wall are photos of Barry Andrews, Darth Maul, some art from some promo I can't remember a thing about, and various photies of which I was fond. Then you get a glimpse of my actual desk. In the far left corner is a Christmas tree I inherited from the last unfortunate to have my job. The lights didn't work. This is indicative of some greater meaning about the state of life in the Pit.
cube4
Okay, this is the back of my cube with my secondary desk and, trust me, I needed it and used it often. I would often have my desk, my secondary desk, and a pull cart piled as high as possible with promo material I was needing to process. I often wondered if it was even worth scrambling over the mess to go home or should I just curl up under my desk and sleep fitfully until it was time to get back to work. Dangling at the top of the cube are three Voodoo dolls from New Orleans. Yes, they were there as a message....to the Feudal Mistress. Yes, I am evil. Beside that is a Wiccan bumper sticker there just to irk all the Free Range Dominionists in my midst. BAAAHHHAHAHAHAHA! Peter Frampton because he rocks. A stack of Creed CDs left over from a promo campaign. Then a bunch of pictures of Dave Matthews, Shriekback, and Vin Diesel licking his lips. I had no shame. Nothing has changed.
cube5
Further along this wall is the origin of my 'Thy Mama' icon. It was a cut-out from a magazine and I thought it was just hilarious. More Shriekback, of course. And a little tribute section to Ray Park and Darth Maul. Peter Serafinowicz would have been in there too, but you couldn't find pictures of him back then. And that's a shame, 'cos he's gorgeous. Then we have assorted funny comics, a pot-smoking Yoda, and the creepy kid from The Sixth Sense seeing stupid people. And I saw a lot of them during my time at BMG. Trust me on that.
cube6


So there you have it. My home away from home for long enough to drive me completely mad. It's been four years since we were all laid off and the only thing I miss about the place were some of the phenomenal people I met along the way and the chance to terrorise the Feudal Mistress on a daily basis. She needed to have a chopstick inserted into her eye. Instead, I gave her a figurative chopstick with my ridiculous decor.
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