i find it hard to find face to face friends, myself. i would like to, i really would. but when the shit goes down, i've found no one standing by me.
even small attempts at reaching out to someone, these are rejected. i don't get it. and i don't get the people who say they are there to listen, but then interrupt you when you do start talking and then they don't fucking shut up. it's so fucking hard to open up in the first place. the people around me really don't know anything about me.
i used to chat people up on instant messengers, but i don't even turn them on anymore. isolation is what life is, anymore. whether i like it or not.
i think maybe these people who stopped walking with you through your pain either have never had such pain in their own lives, or have so sublimated their reality that they can't be reminded of it without imploding. it's just a theory though.
i hope you count me as one of your friends, even though i don't say much. i'm walking through pain too, still. just know that if i am not responding to everything, i am still reading everything. and usually with tears too. when you disappear from the net i worry along with everyone else.
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Date: 2013-01-11 02:02 am (UTC)even small attempts at reaching out to someone, these are rejected. i don't get it. and i don't get the people who say they are there to listen, but then interrupt you when you do start talking and then they don't fucking shut up. it's so fucking hard to open up in the first place.
the people around me really don't know anything about me.
i used to chat people up on instant messengers, but i don't even turn them on anymore. isolation is what life is, anymore. whether i like it or not.
i think maybe these people who stopped walking with you through your pain either have never had such pain in their own lives, or have so sublimated their reality that they can't be reminded of it without imploding. it's just a theory though.
i hope you count me as one of your friends, even though i don't say much. i'm walking through pain too, still. just know that if i am not responding to everything, i am still reading everything. and usually with tears too. when you disappear from the net i worry along with everyone else.