Religious and Family Dynamics
Dec. 26th, 2005 10:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinhuvielDuring our Evans Family Brouhaha on Krimmus Eve, the meat served for our party was roasted ham. Now, I'm not a big pork eater and I found it very wrong to be eating swine so close to Hanukkah anyway, even though I don't keep Kosher most of the time. When Aunt Tudi asked me why I didn't get any ham, I said as much to her. Then Blake piped up and said, "Oh yeah, you're Jewish. Why are you celebrating with all of us tonight then?"
I replied: "Because all you people are Gentiles and I try to do as the Romans, when in Rome. Besides, my dad is a Christian, so here I am."
Blake looked confused, but dropped it. But it got me to thinking how out of whack it seems to others when they learn of my religious background or they hear me call the woman I just introduced as my mother Aunt Tudi. So, let's clear it all up, shall we?
The Father Unit is Baptist. The Mother Unit is Jewish. Up til my 5th year on this Earth, I went to Temple, but also celebrated Easter and Christmas. I remember our having a Hanukkah bush when I was just a wee teeny tot. When the Units divorced and went their separate ways, I was entrusted to Aunt Tudi and Granny to raise. When I turned 10, Aunt Tudi's bid to legally adopt me was granted, legally making my father my uncle and my aunt my new mother. Bizarre neh? During those years after the divorce, I was taken to church a couple of times, but didn't like the idea of being separated from my family for this weird phenomenon called "Sunday School." That shit didn't happen in Temple. Everyone stayed together, or at least they did back in the 70s.
It was during this time (age 10 or 11) that my Aunt Edna introduced me to Tarot cards and she gave me a Witch's spellbook. Aunt Edna was way cool, very strange and esoteric, and a hopeless Willie Nelson fan. She took me under her wing in the arena of the arcane and set me on a path I wouldn't fully embrace until 13 years later.
So from 1978 and 1990, I didn't attend church, but I was an avid Bible reader and a natural interrogator of god and the angels. Granny was my main encouragement in the realm of all things spiritual. When I would show interest in going to Temple or church, she was most supportive, but also stressed to me that god could be found as easily, if not easier, by way of personal prayer and meditation, or sitting in a field under a giant old tree. For her, god was in everything, particularly natural settings, untouched by Man. Looking back on all that, I realise now that Granny was on the threshold of returning to her Pagan roots, even though she was a devout Christian.
Despite my agnostic proclivities, I still very much wanted to believe and be apart of something greater than myself, greater than all of us, that unfathomable ineffable BEING. When we moved to West Virginia in 1980, I was eager to discuss such matters with Aunt Josephine who, to me, was this lofty wise woman who could help me find my way. We had several religious discussions and I was close to embracing her world view until that fateful day she told me I was going to Hell because I liked Andy Gibb and the music of the day. Such judgmental behaviour turned me away from all of it and my religion became music.
In 1990, when I first began to explore Wicca, I discovered that all the good bits in the acceptable religions held much more meaning and power in Pagan practice. Granny's emphasis on the natural state of things came back to me and I was able to embrace her beliefs wholeheartedly now. The first truly serious and scholarly book I read on Witchcraft was The Spiral Dance by Starhawk, who also happened to be Jewish. It was like a message solely for me, that I could choose my own path without having to forfeit my religious history that connected me to my family.
So when people ask me about my family religion, I tell them that my mother is Jewish, my father is Christian, so it was only logical that grow up to be a Pagan. And, if eyebrows raise at what I call Aunt Tudi, I explain that she is indeed my aunt, but also my mother on account of the adoption.
It looks complicated, but it isn't.
I replied: "Because all you people are Gentiles and I try to do as the Romans, when in Rome. Besides, my dad is a Christian, so here I am."
Blake looked confused, but dropped it. But it got me to thinking how out of whack it seems to others when they learn of my religious background or they hear me call the woman I just introduced as my mother Aunt Tudi. So, let's clear it all up, shall we?
The Father Unit is Baptist. The Mother Unit is Jewish. Up til my 5th year on this Earth, I went to Temple, but also celebrated Easter and Christmas. I remember our having a Hanukkah bush when I was just a wee teeny tot. When the Units divorced and went their separate ways, I was entrusted to Aunt Tudi and Granny to raise. When I turned 10, Aunt Tudi's bid to legally adopt me was granted, legally making my father my uncle and my aunt my new mother. Bizarre neh? During those years after the divorce, I was taken to church a couple of times, but didn't like the idea of being separated from my family for this weird phenomenon called "Sunday School." That shit didn't happen in Temple. Everyone stayed together, or at least they did back in the 70s.
It was during this time (age 10 or 11) that my Aunt Edna introduced me to Tarot cards and she gave me a Witch's spellbook. Aunt Edna was way cool, very strange and esoteric, and a hopeless Willie Nelson fan. She took me under her wing in the arena of the arcane and set me on a path I wouldn't fully embrace until 13 years later.
So from 1978 and 1990, I didn't attend church, but I was an avid Bible reader and a natural interrogator of god and the angels. Granny was my main encouragement in the realm of all things spiritual. When I would show interest in going to Temple or church, she was most supportive, but also stressed to me that god could be found as easily, if not easier, by way of personal prayer and meditation, or sitting in a field under a giant old tree. For her, god was in everything, particularly natural settings, untouched by Man. Looking back on all that, I realise now that Granny was on the threshold of returning to her Pagan roots, even though she was a devout Christian.
Despite my agnostic proclivities, I still very much wanted to believe and be apart of something greater than myself, greater than all of us, that unfathomable ineffable BEING. When we moved to West Virginia in 1980, I was eager to discuss such matters with Aunt Josephine who, to me, was this lofty wise woman who could help me find my way. We had several religious discussions and I was close to embracing her world view until that fateful day she told me I was going to Hell because I liked Andy Gibb and the music of the day. Such judgmental behaviour turned me away from all of it and my religion became music.
In 1990, when I first began to explore Wicca, I discovered that all the good bits in the acceptable religions held much more meaning and power in Pagan practice. Granny's emphasis on the natural state of things came back to me and I was able to embrace her beliefs wholeheartedly now. The first truly serious and scholarly book I read on Witchcraft was The Spiral Dance by Starhawk, who also happened to be Jewish. It was like a message solely for me, that I could choose my own path without having to forfeit my religious history that connected me to my family.
So when people ask me about my family religion, I tell them that my mother is Jewish, my father is Christian, so it was only logical that grow up to be a Pagan. And, if eyebrows raise at what I call Aunt Tudi, I explain that she is indeed my aunt, but also my mother on account of the adoption.
It looks complicated, but it isn't.
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 03:56 am (UTC)The Spiral Dance
Date: 2005-12-27 04:52 am (UTC)But I attended a couple of Starhawk's Reclaiming camps. Have you done that?
Very significant person to me --- Starhawk.
Re: The Spiral Dance
Date: 2005-12-27 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 09:35 pm (UTC)Y'know, I really like you.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 05:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 09:36 pm (UTC)That reminds me of the joke I made while playing "Worst Case Scenario, a Game of Survival."
My question was "You're lost in the desert. What do you do to survive?"
I answered, "Find a Jew!"
no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 06:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 09:41 pm (UTC)LJ needs to start up a RL Convention where we can all convene.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 01:34 pm (UTC)Me: Raised by an atheist and an agnositc who were also a biologist, Latin scholar, and anthropologist.
More than you *ever* cared to know.
Date: 2005-12-27 06:27 pm (UTC)Now, I am Episcopalian but respect all religions, youngest brother is Greek Orthodox, mother is pagan/witch, and younger brother is a selfish atheist. (Not that atheists are selfish, he just apparently is. Of course I'm bitter because he recently blew off my wedding)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 04:49 pm (UTC)But this year I could feel both my Germanic roots and my pagan beliefs crying out for that roast pig you snubbed!
no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 09:55 pm (UTC)I only speak the truth. And she raised a wonderful woman. =)