Prayers for the Avian Flu

[tinhuviel]

As I've stressed before, I'm not a nice person. I'm not a good person. I'd say that I'm pretty much Chaotic Neutral. I'm not nice in that I harbour a great disdain and dislike for my fellow Humans. My misanthropy is far-reaching and engulfs even myself. When I pray for the Alpaca Lips, I don't think that I'll survive it to see the aftermath. In fact, I take the coward's route and hope to the Mighties that I am one of the first to go when the Alpaca Lips gets into full swing. I want to be at ground zero if the Bomb hits. I want to wheeze my last breath in the first group of flu or plague victims.

Right now I'm doing a very bad thing by re-reading The Stand by Stephen King. It's only my second reading, my first being in 1980 when I was 12 years old. Even then I could appreciate the wonder of a population-decimating event, but I'm appreciating it even more this time around. I have 26 years of cynicism built up now, 26 years of disappointment in Humanity. Nothing would please me more than to see Stephen King's Alpaca Liptic novel come true.

I know I've said this before, but maybe I joked about it too much. It's not a joking matter to me, really. I truly hope that the Avian or Bird Flu is the One. I hope we have abandoned homes and businesses. I thrill at the thought of quiet highways and silent cities. I am not a good person.

Humanity needs a serious decrease in population and deserves an ass-kicking by some natural force that makes no bones about being outside the realm of Human control. We need to be reminded that we are not in control of this planet or even ourselves to a great degree. We need to lose our capacity for civilisation and be eaten by the wolves for a while. And the Western World needs to get a taste of something this horrific more than any other place on Earth. I'm hoping that Mother Nature leaves Africa alone for once. They've suffered more than enough and are still suffering thanks to Western policy. Let Humanity's homeland in peace! Let it prosper in the wake of worldwide destruction!

I've decided that, should I survive such a holocaust, I am going to go to all the local zoos and free the animals so they will at least have a fighting chance to survive instead of being locked up and helpless when the zookeepers call into work dead. Nothing would delight me more than to see a pride of lions establish dominance on the land that once was Hollywild. I doubt that I'll be one of the ones to be left after the flu flies through but, just in case, when I get my 401k money, I'm going to purchase some tools that will help me cut through bars and locks so I can fulfill my chosen task when the time comes.

If I do get sick with the flu, I need to make sure I go visit some folks at The Pit and be sure to seek out the Feudal Mistress for a drive-by snotting. I can't be put in jail for murder if I'm dead from the flu, can I? And there are so many who need killin'. I just want to make sure they aren't left out of the fray. Wouldn't it be my duty to give the flu to those deserving shitheads? I think it would be.

So, I've mapped out my plans. Spread the wealth if I get the flu, free the animals if I don't. I think that's pretty good. Now, if only the Avian Flu would hurry up and get here.

Comments

[hooded-nubbins.livejournal.com]

But if the world ended, we wouldn't get to see what happens on Lost or 24!!!

(I watch neither of these shows)

I think my feelings about avian flu are similar to most Republican politicians' feelings about Iraq. I'm all for it as long as it doesn't directly affect anyone in my family or people I know.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I don't know from 24, but you should watch LOST. In fact, I command you.

[moad-terran-hq.livejournal.com]

Your statement about freeing the animals and letting them run wild made me flash on the movie 12 Monkeys. If you by some weird twist of fate haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it. Just for you, some Alpacaliptic Goodness there. (By Terry Gilliam to boot....)

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I adore that movie, even though I have an aversion to Brad Pitt. The lion and bear in New York gave me hope for the future.

[hooded-nubbins.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but with the lion and the bear in New York comes the mass imprisonment of the few that survived... not to mention that they all become scientific guinea pigs with no more value than a carrot. The freeing of the bears and lions took place before the apocalypse in that movie... after the fact, people couldn't give two shits about what bears and lions were up to.

I'm not saying you're not right, but just be careful what you wish for. The demise of the human race will be a terrible, violent and extremely ugly thing if it ever gets here. I'd even go so far as to say that the details of our extinction are beyond the scope of anything we can comprehend.

If it happens in my lifetime, I hope I'm consumed by it before I get a chance to comprehend what's going on... and if I'm around long enough to realize what's going on, I think that freeing animals from zoos will probably be the last thing on my mind. Most likely, I'd be shuffling through the hollowed out shell of a Wal Mart looking for a shotgun and some spare ammo so that I can blow my own head off.

I fear the apocalypse/extinction/plague... whatever it is... because I'm sure that even if I could survive it, I wouldn't want to.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't want to either. But it doesn't make me not want it. Whatever happens to the Human race will be something richly deserved, though, and I can't wait.

[(Anonymous)]

I have an aversion to Brad Pitt **except** when he's playing a looney (also: Kalifornia, Se7en). He does it extremely well.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Perhaps because it's not much of a stretch.

[teague.livejournal.com]

If you go on a zoo freeing spree, please also come on down to Florida. You would be *amazed* at how many non indigenous species would take hold. There is already a population of monkeys in south florida that did not start as native, and did you ever see the stories about the Everglades Pythons? Wild stuff!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I have no doubt that they'd take over pretty quickly too. It'd be wonderful.

[zaecus.livejournal.com]

omg u r evil and cannot be my friend n e more!

Can I have your autograph? Here... cough into this hanky.

;->

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Hee!!

[green-goblin70.livejournal.com]

If you survived long enough to free any animals undoubtedly the first group you freed would kill you and consume you.

Either that or you'd become paralyzed with the only person left to keep you company the Feudal Mistress. Don't worry she'd stay with you until your dieing day.

I think I'll go to Hollywild tomorrow and spit on the lions.

[brujah.livejournal.com]

*coughs on you and shares the bionic death pleague bird flu thingy with you*

Cus I love ya an' all.

[silent-druid.livejournal.com]

Nice idea about freeing the animals, not sure how much i like the idea of the world ending though....

It got me thinking though, and i think im going to post more about my feelings about that in my journal, rather than take up all the space here ;)

[razzle.livejournal.com]

Seen Omega Man? I've been dreaming of the apocalypse ever since.

When the time comes, I hope I'm in the 2nd wave to go. I'd like to stick around long enough to give full vent to my own violent tendencies just once before I snuff it.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a plan! And, yeah, I've seen Omega Man. Another Heston classic!