The Day after His Birthday
Jun. 29th, 2006 07:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinhuvielMy dad is dead.
He turned 61 yesterday and today my stepmother came home to find him sitting in his chair, dead.
We don't know what took him yet. The coroner will have to determine that. But it could have been a number of things. He was in extremely poor health and was being visited by Hospice at least once a week, most of the time more than once.
I don't know what will happen next. I don't think there will be any services as Daddy wanted to be cremated and keep things as low-key as possible. I'm sure that Aunt Tudi and I will be going down to Moncks Corner in the next few days to help Mary with whatever, but I don't know about anything right now. I don't even know if my presence is needed, required, or wanted.
I was his only child. And I don't even know what responsibilities that carries, if it does.
Aunt Tudi is all to pieces. She doesn't handle loss very well. Daddy was her younger brother and they were unimaginably close. So I'm being strong for her, like I did when Granny died. I can grieve in my own time, in private, so as not to distress anyone else.
I talked to him yesterday, wished him a happy birthday. Aunt Tudi and I had already sent his present to him early: super binoculars so he could eyeball the local birds. He got to use them for two weeks. He told me on the phone yesterday that he'd had a good birthday so far but, now that I'd called, it was a fantastic birthday. He told me that he loved me very much. I told him I loved him too.
And that was that.
He turned 61 yesterday and today my stepmother came home to find him sitting in his chair, dead.
We don't know what took him yet. The coroner will have to determine that. But it could have been a number of things. He was in extremely poor health and was being visited by Hospice at least once a week, most of the time more than once.
I don't know what will happen next. I don't think there will be any services as Daddy wanted to be cremated and keep things as low-key as possible. I'm sure that Aunt Tudi and I will be going down to Moncks Corner in the next few days to help Mary with whatever, but I don't know about anything right now. I don't even know if my presence is needed, required, or wanted.
I was his only child. And I don't even know what responsibilities that carries, if it does.
Aunt Tudi is all to pieces. She doesn't handle loss very well. Daddy was her younger brother and they were unimaginably close. So I'm being strong for her, like I did when Granny died. I can grieve in my own time, in private, so as not to distress anyone else.
I talked to him yesterday, wished him a happy birthday. Aunt Tudi and I had already sent his present to him early: super binoculars so he could eyeball the local birds. He got to use them for two weeks. He told me on the phone yesterday that he'd had a good birthday so far but, now that I'd called, it was a fantastic birthday. He told me that he loved me very much. I told him I loved him too.
And that was that.
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Date: 2006-06-29 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:05 am (UTC)It's good that you got to speak to him yesterday and exchange "I love yous".
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Date: 2006-06-30 12:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:07 am (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2006-06-30 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 12:38 am (UTC)*HUGS*
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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Date: 2006-06-30 01:04 am (UTC)I'm not sure what else there is to say other than my heartfelt condolences for your loss..
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Date: 2006-06-30 01:07 am (UTC)I understand the needing to be strong for others thing - I did that not too recently - just please, do take some time for yourself to grieve as well.
And I am positive that your presence will be both needed, wanted, and appreciated. For yourself, especially.
I really don't know what else to say - my condolences to you and your family.
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Date: 2006-06-30 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 01:17 am (UTC)I'm here.
I'm always here.
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Date: 2006-06-30 01:18 am (UTC)*big hug*
My thoughts are with you and Aunt Tudi.
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Date: 2006-06-30 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 01:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 02:01 am (UTC)I've learned recently that we can't alwasy grieve at the time we want to but when we need to there won't be any way to stop it. My thoughts are with you.
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Date: 2006-06-30 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 02:25 am (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2006-06-30 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 02:39 am (UTC)My thoughts are with you and Aunt Tudi, and the rest of your family. Please take care.
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Date: 2006-06-30 02:44 am (UTC):(
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Date: 2006-06-30 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 04:36 am (UTC)My condolences, honey. :( :(
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Date: 2006-06-30 04:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 05:08 am (UTC)I never feel like there are any other words that really, truly matter in these situations.
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Date: 2006-06-30 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 09:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 10:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 11:11 am (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2006-06-30 11:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 01:27 pm (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2006-06-30 01:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-30 08:16 pm (UTC)Honey, I'm so sorry.
*hugs to you and Aunt Tudi*
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Date: 2006-06-30 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-02 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-03 11:50 pm (UTC)