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tinhuvielMy grass is almost a foot high because I can't imagine going out in the godawful heat and humidity to cut it. It is once again that time of year where I ponder the advantages of purchasing a couple of goats and letting them go berserk on my lawn. Of course, my usual honed ability to think up colourful metaphors for how hot it is here has been dashed upon the jagged rocks of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
moad_terran_hq's creativity. When he mentioned that it was "slap dough under your arms and make stank bread hot," not only did he force me to fall hopelessly in love with him, but he also hijacked what was normally my little niche of ingenuity: that is, describing how horrible the heat is in ways that make others weep and cackle simultaneously.
But I can't stop griping about the heat just because I've been outdone bymoad_terran_hq. It's too hot not to gripe about it.
The current temperature is 83 with over 50% humidity. The temperature really isn't that bad right now, but the humidity is what makes it worse than it actually is. It's bad enough that the ladies (Smidgen, Shmoop, and Motley) are indoors, stretched out like noodles on the floor. It's supposed to get up to 92 today and, honestly, I'll be surprised if we make it there since it's already after 4 in the afternoon. But tomorrow.....tomorrow is supposed to be 98 or even hotter.
The family is gathering for a cook-out late tomorrow afternoon. In order to avoid the heat (like that's gonna happen) and be together at sunset in order to set off fireworks for the kids, we're gathering up at Uncle Michael's and Janice's around 6 PM. The way I see it, I will be chewed on by flies as I broil in the hot, wet heat until the sun goes down. Then, I will be chewed on by mosquitoes and have my nerves rankled by asplodey things and screaming kids. Oh yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I'd rather just sit in the dark and the cool of the bedroom and ponder the destruction of all Humanity. Heat makes me want to move the Alpaca Lips along a little faster than it's currently developing.
I need a large pool in which to dive nekkid. And I'd pee in it, or say I did, so no one else would encroach on my personal space.
moad_terran_hq's creativity. When he mentioned that it was "slap dough under your arms and make stank bread hot," not only did he force me to fall hopelessly in love with him, but he also hijacked what was normally my little niche of ingenuity: that is, describing how horrible the heat is in ways that make others weep and cackle simultaneously.But I can't stop griping about the heat just because I've been outdone by
moad_terran_hq. It's too hot not to gripe about it.The current temperature is 83 with over 50% humidity. The temperature really isn't that bad right now, but the humidity is what makes it worse than it actually is. It's bad enough that the ladies (Smidgen, Shmoop, and Motley) are indoors, stretched out like noodles on the floor. It's supposed to get up to 92 today and, honestly, I'll be surprised if we make it there since it's already after 4 in the afternoon. But tomorrow.....tomorrow is supposed to be 98 or even hotter.
The family is gathering for a cook-out late tomorrow afternoon. In order to avoid the heat (like that's gonna happen) and be together at sunset in order to set off fireworks for the kids, we're gathering up at Uncle Michael's and Janice's around 6 PM. The way I see it, I will be chewed on by flies as I broil in the hot, wet heat until the sun goes down. Then, I will be chewed on by mosquitoes and have my nerves rankled by asplodey things and screaming kids. Oh yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I'd rather just sit in the dark and the cool of the bedroom and ponder the destruction of all Humanity. Heat makes me want to move the Alpaca Lips along a little faster than it's currently developing.
I need a large pool in which to dive nekkid. And I'd pee in it, or say I did, so no one else would encroach on my personal space.
