Submissive Thoughts
Mar. 1st, 2003 07:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinhuvielI'm on book three of the 'Beauty' series by Anne Rice and I must say that reading these books have so far been quite an experience.
Points in the books I liked:
Points in the books with which I'm still uncomfortable:
Of course, I'm certain I'm missing quite a few points, especially since I'm not yet finished reading.
I'm still trying to figure out what spurred my current switch from Dominance to submissive inclinations. I even asked our 'Dungeon' list, so-named after a virtual place 4 friends and I forged together by creating a mailing list in which we talk about anything and everything. Meche, our resident Domme, wrote back with the best insights so far. She said that I could be experiencing submissive traits because:
This makes a lot of sense to me because I am stressed and pressured a great deal right now and I do trust my mate implicitly. My willingness to experiment has never been in question. It really makes a lot of sense to me.
It's still a very odd sensation for me to want to just curl up in someone's arms and be taken care of while, at the same time, be utterly willing to obey without question, to give myself up to another in that way. I'm usually a very strong-willed person and am the type who takes no crap from anyone, especially on the job. This is quite a departure.
It bothers me and excites me all at once that I want to be collared and owned like this. Sometimes I'm looking forward to this phase passing and other times, I hope it becomes a reality and never leaves me. What I am certain of is that love and trust brought me to this crossroad...a desire to please the one I adore and the freedom to trust, to really trust another without reservation.
Regardless of where this takes me, I know I'm learning about myself and discovering aspects I never thought I'd realise. It's a good experience, whatever comes from it.
Points in the books I liked:
- Beauty being told what to do
- Beauty being helpless in the hands of her Masters and Mistresses
- Beauty feeling completely owned and protected
- Beauty surrenduring herself to her Master or Mistress
- The slaves being collared
Points in the books with which I'm still uncomfortable:
- Beauty's systematic humiliation
- The continual spanking of the slaves
- What I consider abuse (the ponies in the Village)
- Beauty's tiresome insatiability
Of course, I'm certain I'm missing quite a few points, especially since I'm not yet finished reading.
I'm still trying to figure out what spurred my current switch from Dominance to submissive inclinations. I even asked our 'Dungeon' list, so-named after a virtual place 4 friends and I forged together by creating a mailing list in which we talk about anything and everything. Meche, our resident Domme, wrote back with the best insights so far. She said that I could be experiencing submissive traits because:
- Too much pressure in life at that period
- Having found someone she can trust 100%
- Willingness to experiment
This makes a lot of sense to me because I am stressed and pressured a great deal right now and I do trust my mate implicitly. My willingness to experiment has never been in question. It really makes a lot of sense to me.
It's still a very odd sensation for me to want to just curl up in someone's arms and be taken care of while, at the same time, be utterly willing to obey without question, to give myself up to another in that way. I'm usually a very strong-willed person and am the type who takes no crap from anyone, especially on the job. This is quite a departure.
It bothers me and excites me all at once that I want to be collared and owned like this. Sometimes I'm looking forward to this phase passing and other times, I hope it becomes a reality and never leaves me. What I am certain of is that love and trust brought me to this crossroad...a desire to please the one I adore and the freedom to trust, to really trust another without reservation.
Regardless of where this takes me, I know I'm learning about myself and discovering aspects I never thought I'd realise. It's a good experience, whatever comes from it.
