Road Weary
Mar. 7th, 2003 10:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinhuvielAfter signing my name about 3 trillion times, I finally became the addled owner of a new Saturn ION at approximately 3:30 this afternoon.
Before I was allowed to leave the dealership, everyone working today gathered 'round, boombox blasting C&C Music Factory in tow, and witnessed Carl, my salesman, bestow upon me 3 helium-filled balloons, 3 Tootsie Pops, 3 business cards, and 1 handshake. One guy took our picture with the ION and then they all chanted at me and applauded rhythmically.
This merely cements my belief that Saturn is a cult. Maybe a bunch of Moonies decided to start manufacturing cars...or perhaps some survivors of Jonestown or Waco. I dunno, but it's all very strange and disconcerting.
To make things even stranger, here's a backstory to the demise of my last Saturn, lovingly named The Robula:
The first week of February, I took the Robula to the Saturn service center for his 3000 mile service. While the dudes were doing their mechanic duties, Aunt Tudi and I decided to meander about and check out the new ION's. Up comes Carl who tells us all about the ION and tries very hard to sell us a car. I bravely resisted and bid him adieu when the Robula was ready to go. Two days later I receive a greeting card from Carl. I chuckle and ignore it. A week later I am in a wreck of Starsky & Hutch proportions. But, get this, the car that hit me out of the morning fog was....a white Saturn! And just last Saturday, who calls me to tell me that I have until the end of March to cash in on the ION sale? You got it: CARL. I think he and his fellow culties slapped a heavy mojo on me....and I'm really concerned that I let them. Perhaps I need to be deprogrammed. Steph has already offered to do intervention. If I get an urge to attend a Saturn Family Reunion, she has the freedom to do what she must in order to save my soul.
Other than that, everything else was pretty routine. I had a few panicky moments driving, but held myself pretty well, methinks. Llew, Aunt Tudi, and I went out for dinner and then on to Walmart (god forbid). For dinner, we opted for Chinese. I got my first taste of peanut chicken and I am in looooove. Gimme more...now, please.
Lew had to go the chiropractor today. His neck is all out of whack. Monday is his return visit for further adjustments. It's that bad. Po baby.
He gave me a manatee plushie that he picked up in Florida. It's all warm and snuggly. I've never had a man give me a stuffed animal before. I think I like it!
Tomorrow I return to the answering service for 8 hours of pure raw horror. The sheer numbers of ignorant people that are living in this area increases my concern that lynch mobs for 'different people' could very easily form and overwhelm with little or no resistance. It would be just my luck to be burned at the stake by a bunch of idiot rednecks with whom I had the misfortune of speaking at the answering service. If it happened, I'm still uncertain as to whether it would be bad karma or bad luck.
Llew says he's coming over tomorrow, but I'm not holding my breath. He was hurting too badly today and that's a sure sign that he'll be laid flat tomorrow. It'd be nice to have him over, but I'm ont getting my hopes up. If he does come over, I already have another bedtime story picked out from 'Beauty's Release' that I think he'll find thought-provoking.
Okay, I'm heading for bed. My eyes just fell out. Help.
Before I was allowed to leave the dealership, everyone working today gathered 'round, boombox blasting C&C Music Factory in tow, and witnessed Carl, my salesman, bestow upon me 3 helium-filled balloons, 3 Tootsie Pops, 3 business cards, and 1 handshake. One guy took our picture with the ION and then they all chanted at me and applauded rhythmically.
This merely cements my belief that Saturn is a cult. Maybe a bunch of Moonies decided to start manufacturing cars...or perhaps some survivors of Jonestown or Waco. I dunno, but it's all very strange and disconcerting.
To make things even stranger, here's a backstory to the demise of my last Saturn, lovingly named The Robula:
The first week of February, I took the Robula to the Saturn service center for his 3000 mile service. While the dudes were doing their mechanic duties, Aunt Tudi and I decided to meander about and check out the new ION's. Up comes Carl who tells us all about the ION and tries very hard to sell us a car. I bravely resisted and bid him adieu when the Robula was ready to go. Two days later I receive a greeting card from Carl. I chuckle and ignore it. A week later I am in a wreck of Starsky & Hutch proportions. But, get this, the car that hit me out of the morning fog was....a white Saturn! And just last Saturday, who calls me to tell me that I have until the end of March to cash in on the ION sale? You got it: CARL. I think he and his fellow culties slapped a heavy mojo on me....and I'm really concerned that I let them. Perhaps I need to be deprogrammed. Steph has already offered to do intervention. If I get an urge to attend a Saturn Family Reunion, she has the freedom to do what she must in order to save my soul.
Other than that, everything else was pretty routine. I had a few panicky moments driving, but held myself pretty well, methinks. Llew, Aunt Tudi, and I went out for dinner and then on to Walmart (god forbid). For dinner, we opted for Chinese. I got my first taste of peanut chicken and I am in looooove. Gimme more...now, please.
Lew had to go the chiropractor today. His neck is all out of whack. Monday is his return visit for further adjustments. It's that bad. Po baby.
He gave me a manatee plushie that he picked up in Florida. It's all warm and snuggly. I've never had a man give me a stuffed animal before. I think I like it!
Tomorrow I return to the answering service for 8 hours of pure raw horror. The sheer numbers of ignorant people that are living in this area increases my concern that lynch mobs for 'different people' could very easily form and overwhelm with little or no resistance. It would be just my luck to be burned at the stake by a bunch of idiot rednecks with whom I had the misfortune of speaking at the answering service. If it happened, I'm still uncertain as to whether it would be bad karma or bad luck.
Llew says he's coming over tomorrow, but I'm not holding my breath. He was hurting too badly today and that's a sure sign that he'll be laid flat tomorrow. It'd be nice to have him over, but I'm ont getting my hopes up. If he does come over, I already have another bedtime story picked out from 'Beauty's Release' that I think he'll find thought-provoking.
Okay, I'm heading for bed. My eyes just fell out. Help.
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no subject
Date: 2003-03-07 08:45 pm (UTC)I would go to a reunion and frolic amongst the other Saturns.
That is really weird that they danced around you...I don't think they did that to my brother...I'll have to ask.
I guess this means I'll be meeting you soon ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-03-09 05:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-09 08:37 pm (UTC)And if you're ever bored after work you can come by as well...
I don't get out much :P
no subject
Date: 2003-03-08 07:11 am (UTC)Yay, new car smell! Good for you.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-09 05:12 pm (UTC)