More Things I Wonder

[tinhuviel]

• Who is the Mitsubishi guy?


• If the government is going paperless, why have they opened up the Alaskan wilderness to loggers?
  
• How can a morning radio show be so ridiculously one-sided? Screw you, B-93.7!


• What does it feel like to be truly thin?


• Who invented bobble-heads and why?


• Why are the hear-no-evil, see-no-evil, speak-no-evil statues always represented as monkeys?


• Why do all septic tank servicemen sound alike? Are they all just one person with several of the same business?


• Why are there accents?


• Why does Travis find 'Mommie Dearest' so deeply horrifying? And why am I compelled to call him to let him know every time it's on TV?


• Why was anyone shocked when Rosie came out of the closet?<'li>
  
• Why are plus-sized clothes overpriced and always in floral patterns? Just because you're fat doesn't mean you want to go around looking like a mobile jungle.


• Why do business people all look alike ~ like cardboard cutouts of the same tired old white crackers that run the world?


• Will 'The Matrix Reloaded' be as revolutionary as 'The Matrix'?


• Will I ever get to meet Barry Andrews?


• Why is my boss so breathtakingly superficial? Is it genetic or something enforced in business courses?


• Will Dubya get a 2nd term in the White House or will the people actually get to choose our president like in the good old days when we were a democracy?


• Will I ever make it Europe or, at least, Canada?


• For that matter, will I ever get to live on the coast of Maine?


• Will Llew and I get to realise our most profound wishes?


• What unholy process is used to make Listerine Oral Care Strips?


• Why did George Lucas opt to keep Jar Jar Binks, but kill off Darth Maul? What controlled substance was he consuming the day he made that decision?


• Who is A? I'd like to get to know him/her/it too


• Why are people rewarded financially for having children when the world is already overpopulated?


• Why do kids leak fluids on an almost constant basis until they reach around 7 or so?


• Has anyone else noticed that our cell phones are looking more and more like Star Trek communicators?


• (and last, but not least) Why does everybody love Raymond?

Comments

[irenes.livejournal.com]

And last but not least why are you so alarmingly similiar to me? Are you a long lost sister or something?

Re:

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

::scratches head:: maybe it's prolonged exposure to Mel...or maybe we were separated at birth. Is your family a roving band of Gypsies? I have often speculated that I was left by behind by Gypsies.
Or maybe we're in the same pod group in The Matrix.
The possibilities are boundless.

[obie.livejournal.com]

Good questions.. gimmie time, and I think I can supply some answers

Re:

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

You have as much time as the Jeopardy song is long.

[ravien.livejournal.com]

Well since I DO know EVERYTHING...

The Mitsubishi guy was a stolen immigrant from Croatia that Japan took and decided to use in their ad campaign to both sell cars and gather simpathy for an improvrished nation.
They're allowing the loggers into Alaska to clear out those nasty trees so we can get to the sweet sweet oil.
You shouldn't be listening to 93.7, switch to the Buzzard. 93.7 is so stupid because of their audience: mostly teenagers and trailer-folk.
To be thin must be lighter, but you also have to deal with fat people hating you and more men trying to treat you like an easy whore.
Bobble Heads were invented in the 60's to promote Baseball stars. The card sales had slumped and they needed a new odd thing to sell to the sporting public.
Mankind supposedly evolved from monkeys.
Septic tank people all went to the same school trained by a guy that talks like that.
There are accents because some people are more pretentious than others and have to talk different to stand out, this was carried down over the generations and became the accents we know of today.
I think Travis is scared of her eyebrows, and you call him because you like being evil.
Some people don't have Gaydar.
Try www.torrid.com, plus size clothes in non-floral patterns. Cato's also has started selling pruned clothing. Seems designers finally realized that American's are generally fat.
They have books on what clothes effect your business look. They read these books and try to look like each other so that they can have a better shot at a promotion.
Yes, anything Matrix has to be good.
You will meet Barry Andrews when Saturn is in Capricorn.
The superficial boss is caused by the area. This town is overrun with needlebutts.
I think Hillary Clinton will win the next election.
You shall go to Canada in the caravans when the draft is started up again.
Everything cool happens in Maine...I'm sure you'll go someday.
If your wishes are the ones including me then you bet your ass you will!
It's the skin of angels.
Lucas is only thinking of the money and I think he likes pissing people off.
A is Alan...he's from Greer and he's a perv.
More children = more future voters, soldiers, deaths, factory workers
Because their liquid balance is off and they're just trying to dry out.
I want a Star Trek communicator...
Because his wife is a bitch.

There...told you I know everything :P

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking all day of some witticism with which to respond to this, but I give up...so all I'm gonna say is that this is damned funny and made my day. thanks

[furnacechant.livejournal.com]

>Why are the hear-no-evil, see-no-evil, speak-no-evil >statues always represented as monkeys?


Because they're all a copy of one very famous statue of the Three Wise Monkeys, which IIRC was a Japanese folktale or parable.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

This makes all sorts of sense. Nice to have someone so knowledgeable about Matters of a Japanese Nature around. Thanks!