tinhuviel | Abandonment

Times like this make me wonder why I'm so desperate to not be abandoned. Rejection and abandonment freeze me up inside and I'm unable to focus on anything except the impending pain that will rip through my soul. My heart clenches and my Solar Plexus feels as though it's being impaled.

I hate that feeling and am powerless, it seems, to stop its raging upon my body and soul.

Then I wonder if the cause of it all is really worth it, but I know it's just my survival instinct kicking in, wanting the torment to go away by any means necessary.

Just when I think that happiness may be a viable option, doubt, worry, and uncertainty sabotage it. Perhaps it really is wiser to keep my head down and frown on my face. At least that way, I know what to expect.

Mood: uncomfortable
Music: Genesis "That's All"