Prairie Muffin ~ that's the life for me!

[tinhuviel]

I've decided to drop everything, run off to Jesus Camp, and become a Prairie Muffin. Don't try to talk me out of it. It will do you no good.

Comments

[clauderainsrm.livejournal.com]

To tell the truth I'm kind of shocked that you haven't done this long ago...

[mladypain.livejournal.com]

I'm almost afraid to ask... but how in the hell did you come across this? LOL

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I've known about it for a while, but it came back to the forefront of my thoughts when I saw how the polygamist women dressed and behaved. Yep. Prairie Muffins!

[morriganwind.livejournal.com]

*shudder* What the hell is a helpmeet?

You will have to give up spelling and grammar if you become one ;)

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

Holy shit. Well, wait... that would be a meadow muffin.

Hmm. Maybe we should start an organization for Tundra Tortes. Beach Bitches? Valley Vixens! Mesa Madames, Cave Cookies, Sea Scones, Bonny Bouncy Berm Biscuits.

Fjord Feministas.

I could go on.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Please do! This is the most fun I've had in days. Favourite: bonny bouncy berm biscuits. That's bloody brilliant, that is!

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

Well, looks like I went off-convention there for a while. The first word has to be some kind of land feature, and the second, a baked good.

Like... Pasture Pancake.

Ok, pancakes are not baked, per se, but I think it's close enough.

Crevasse Crepes -- same problem. Culvert Cupcakes, though, is 100% on-convention.

Bonny Bouncy Berm Biscuits, also my favorite, adheres to the convention and adds the flourish of some tone-setting adjectives, which I think is fine for our purposes, and to give God glory by describing Biscuits who do "not reflect badly on their husbands by neglecting their appearance; they work with the clay God has given, molding it into an attractive package for the pleasure of their husbands."

Pardon me.

*vomits uncontrollably for fifteen minutes*

*brushes teeth*

*wipes chin*

Ok, where was I?

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

another sign of the Alpaca Lips...

The manifesto was rather disturbing, but I was nastily amused at the repetition of the word "submission". ;-)

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Pervos for Christ. The rest of us are just into BDSM.

The site link below takes it the rest of the way!

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

http://www.sexinchrist.com/submission.html

You're welcome.

[mad--pierrot.livejournal.com]

And what sort of muffin would you be? Blueberry? Banana nut? Chocolate chip? Something else entirely?

It's fitting, really. 'Cuz, you know, you're all about the obedience and the hyperturbosupercharged '50's values.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Bran with extra twigs.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

I am cranberry-orange with cocaine in it.

Would cocaine hydrochloride survive the baking process? I wonder if Jesus could tell me.

(I love the comment choices of "alter" and "eradicate.")

[furnacechant.livejournal.com]

The real horror for me lies in how similar most of it is to the way my father (who is an extreme atheist and has NO theological excuses) always raised me to be and think, and how I automatically jump into panic-defensive mode trying to come up with logical arguments against each item( which I'm doomed to fail at because this isn't really based on actual logic and I hate/am lousy at debate no matter how clear the issue anyway). I'm simultaneously relieved and envious at how easily others just laugh it off completely. Quite possibly the majority of women raised in Utah would react somewhat more like I do, though, with degrees of variation.

You and I

[janalyson.livejournal.com]

would be "Muffin Mixes" though. How to you plan to snag these "desirable" males?

Oh LORD!

[booraven22.livejournal.com]

...
O_O

I went blind by #3.
The screaming & brain bleaching started soon after.
Hubby came downstairs to see what all the ruckus was about. Read over my shoulder. Then began laughing his ass off.
"Like THAT would ever happen." says he.

I have an image of tinhuviel in a Holly Hobby outfit that just won't go away. ::scowls and reaches for the brain bleach again::

Re: Oh LORD!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

::snork::

[falkenna.livejournal.com]

There's a lot of weirdass women out there, and I've got no problem if they *choose* to live this way, except for two things:
1. Forcing it onto their children, and
2. "Prairie Muffins are aware that God is in control of their ability to conceive and bear children, and they are content to allow Him to bless them as He chooses in this area." -- They have no right to mess up my planet with their indiscriminate breeding.
(I'm also a bit bummed by the idea of their voting -- but they probably don't, because that's men's work.)

I really really like their Matthew Poole thing of not being allowed to tell anyone else how to live.

[green-goblin7t.livejournal.com]

Let's see:

"Prairie Muffins place their husbands' needs and desires above other obligations, arranging their schedules and responsibilities so that they do not neglect the one who provides for and protects them and their children."

So as Doc would say, "I want her to just shut up and look good".

The biggest problem I see:

"Prairie Muffins must refrain from being mouthy, including online. It is not our place to always set everyone straight or tell everything we know."

You'd have to trade in that industrial strength soap box...and where is the fun in that?