Happy Birthday

to
estasia
philrancid
and
shrijani!

Early on

Upon waking at 7 AM, I decided to stay up instead of lying down for a few more hours, as has been my routine of late. This gives me about 4.5 hours of sleep and, already, I'm feeling the burn of sleepies.

There are things to do today, but I'm waiting for it to warm up a little first. Right now, I'm covered with as many blankets and comforters I could find and I'm still chilly.

One thing I needed to do I've already accomplished: I spoke with Lori at Dr. Patch's office about Shmoop. She put me on hold to go talk to Doc, who suggested that I come in for more Amoxil Drops. It turns out that this medicine only holds for about 14 days, so I've been administering something that was doing Shmoop absolutely no good. How was I to know? Duh. I also asked about the symptoms of dog flu that is going around right now. For any readers with dogs, I'm typing the symptoms in large font so it won't be easy to overlook.

DOG FLU
Make certain your dog has a bordatella shot, so you can differentiate between flu and kennel cough.
Watch for coughing, diarrhea, vomiting
If you see these symptoms, get your dog to the doctor, but don't take her/him inside
Call ahead with your concerns

To my knowledge, the dog flu can't jump from dogs to humans like the current avian influenza, so please don't banish your dog out of fear. That's wrong, man, wrong!

Speaking of dogs, Chester took a tumble last night. He was balanced on the back of the love seat when Janice came down to visit, got a little excited, lost his balance and fell flat on the floor. Later on, Aunt Tudi was cuddling him and asked him if he was sore.....and Chester answered: "uh huh." We both were astonished, but I told Aunt Tudi there was no use in proclaiming to the world that we have a talking dog. Every time we'd try to show him off, he'd just sit there and make Yorkie noises, but as soon as the strangers were gone, he'd pick up his top hat and cane and start singing "Michigan Rag." I know it to be true.

One of the reasons I was up so late last night is I was watching one of my favourite guilty pleasure movies on Turner South. Ice Pirates was on. This is the movie from which I got the notorious "space herpe," which makes me titter with glee every time I think about it. While watching Ice Pirates, it dawned on me how similar this movie is to Joss Whedon's Firefly, based on what little I know about Firefly. I could be wrong, but I can't help but suspect a little bit of recycling was performed in the writing of Firefly and Serenity. Should Robert Urich be spinning in his grave?

Also, last night, Aunt Tudi and I were discussing Christmas. She's the Bob Cratchett of our household and I am Scrooge. Most years, we don't do much because we really can't afford it. I despise the fact that what should be a holy season for so many different religions has become a commercial mishmash of horror, but Aunt Tudi gets all starry-eyed and wants to give to everybody and his brother. This year will be the first in many where we can marginally afford the kind of Christmas Aunt Tudi likes. I informed of this last night, saying "We're going to do Christmas your way this time and give shit to a bunch of people I don't like." Hey, I gotta stay in character.

I have an appointment with Jan in Human Resources at The Pit today at 4 PM. I was going to have her fill out my insurance paper for credit card payment protection, but the idjits at account secure sent me the wrong form, sending me the disability forms instead of the unemployment forms. So I'm SOL. I must call them this morning and get that straightened out.

For now, though, I'm keeping under the covers and praying for the feeling to come back in my toes.

Hello Moto

My new phone is dicking around with my mental health. When I hold it, I want to flip it open violently and scream "KHAAAAAAAAN!"

Is there some way to overcome this short of wiping my mind clean of all Star Trek references?

Agenda

• Get shower


• Get dressed


• Shake Aunt Tudi awake


• Pour her into the car


• Go to Dr. Patch's office and pick up copious amounts of antibiotics for Shmoop


• Go buy blankets


• Come home and pour antibiotics down Shmoop's goozle


• Take a picture of myself with the new phone for a new KHAAAAAN icon


• Shake my head slowly as I ponder how pathetic I am


• Go see Llew


• Come home


• Get online


• Make new icon


• Go to bed early

The end.

I'm off to hose down.

The Great Blanket Quest

Or, "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love to Shop."

Not really. I still hate shopping.

Aunt Tudi and I headed out around 3 PM, hellbent on finding a blanket for her and maybe one for me if they were cheap. We first went to the PO where I got my info packet from Tri-County Tech (yay!).

Our first stop was the closest store: Dollar General. That place looked like Dubya had sent in troops to shock and awe the hapless clerks and confused shoppers. They were moving Christmas stuff in whilst trying to maintain some semblance of sanity with the Hallowe'en stuff, all while attempting to restock yearly supplies and deal with customers. I heard Marlon Brando whispering "the horror, the horror" in my ear as I urged Aunt Tudi back out the door. They had no blankets there. They didn't know what they had, but blankets weren't among their list of available items.

So on to Greer. I suggested Tarzhay (that's French for Target) because we'd never been there and there was a good chance the store would have blankets. Yeah, they had blankets alright. $49 and $79 blankets. I could pay a crack ho at the truck stop less than that to lie across Aunt Tudi to keep her warm! Oh hell no! We left and I now spit in the eye of that ugly-ass dog they call a mascot. Ptooey.

Well, we started to bicker because it was getting close to time for Dr. Patch's office to close, and I really needed to pick up Shmoop's medicine. She wanted to go to Bed, Bath, & Beyond and I wanted to try the Wal-Mart in Greer en route to Dr. Patch's. Whilst bickering I saw a light in the sky as though the Mighty Goddess was bathing my vision with warmth and hope. That light grew brighter and I saw that it was a sign for Plej's. Plej's specialises in linens, bath items and bedding! So I zipped into their parking lot. What was even better (at least for us) is that the store was having a "going out of business" sale. Aunt Tudi found her blanket, I found mine, and we bought two extra blankets for any guests/hostages we may find ourselves entertaining. And all of it came to a few cents under $25. Hot diggity-fuck!

We then swung by Dr. Patch's office and got Shmoop's medicine and were home by 6 PM.

I need to help Aunt Tudi with the kittles outdoors and then I'm off to see Llew. I should be home before 10 though, 'cos it's Boston Legal night and I must have me a hefty dose of James Spader and Denny Crane. So no early to bed, but I'll make up for it in the morning.

Amen.

White Lady, She has visited early....

Parts of the Blue Ridge Parkway have been closed because of snow and ice. At least 2 inches of ice are on portions of the parkway, making travel too hazardous for drivers. They just showed the Craggy Gardens rest area and it was a Winter wonderland. This is most distressing because Aunt Tudi and I were planning on driving up there tomorrow. We scattered Granny's ashes at Craggy Dome, the next stop up from Craggy Gardens, in 1993 and we try to go up at least once a year to pay our respects and commune with her spirit there in the mountains she loved so dearly.

But the White Lady has visited early this year and it seems we won't be able to make it to Granny's natural shrine this year.

Aunt Tudi is beside herself. I'm none too happy either, but you can't fight Mother Nature. You have to accept and move along.

If the region's temperatures and inclement weather are any indication, we're in for an unusually spectacular Winter this year.