Why I Do What I Do

I don't make You Tube videos solely for myself. Sure, there's a part of me that gains all manner of joy when someone likes what I am doing. That's why I have 100 Tim Roth Tutorials instead just the 5 I was aiming to make. I was well-pleased to discover the Tutorials already had a growing following who wanted me to make more. And the more I made, the larger the demand became. It became an ego-booster and an exercise in how far my humour could go and would be accepted. It thrills me that I have had no objections from the Hooligans (Tim Roth's insane fanbase).

But the main reason I created my You Tube account was to show the still-feuding fans of Andy Partridge and Barry Andrews. I had a video that I had lifted from XTC's Chalkhills website that featured part of an interview between Andrews and Partridge, conducted probably sometime in 1982-83. The intention was to settle the argument once and for all, showing that the two of them were friends before the XTC debacle and they buried the proverbial hatchet only 3 or 4 years later. It was time for the fans to let it go.

It worked for most.

Then I noticed that the Sacred City movie wasn't available anywhere on the Internet. I asked Barry if I could post it in increments so people could finally see it. He said "sure." So I did. This was before You Tube wouldn't allow any videos exceeding 10 minutes, so I had to divide Sacred City into some kind of logical order. It worked out pretty well.

My mission was quickly becoming an offering up Shriekback and Shriek-related material. Not just my own, but linking to videos (like the live version of 'Despite Dense Weed') that other people had uploaded, that may not be getting the proper attention they deserved. One thing led to another and Barry allowed me to upload the 'Captain Cook' video along with Shriekback's official introduction to America. He then gave the go-ahead to post the Fluke/Shriekback collaboration "Tosh (Shriekback Wash)" and an interview he did circa 1987.

It was later, early in this year, I got to thinking that the Illuminati songs had not been available for years. James had done a remix of all but one of the Illuminati songs, but they stopped being available when the old Shriekback Digital Conspiracy was dismantled. It disturbed that so many people would never have the chance to ever hear these songs, so I asked Barry if I could post them all to You Tube, along with the lyrics. That way, people could listen and sing along if they so chose. After careful consideration, he gave me permission. With the help of Khanda Taylor and Trista Mack, with assistance from Barry, I got the lyrics right and began the task of putting up the videos. I was new at making my own videos and began the task of teaching myself how to make them.

The Tim Roth Tutorials and some of the early Shriekback videos were my attempt to hone my zero skills in this art. I quickly began to realise that, with creating videos for songs in particular, mathematics came into serious play. And I really really suck at math. It was math that held me back from being valedictorian, and placed in at merely 6th in my class. Math pisses me off. And here I was, working on projects that demanded a rudimentary working knowledge of math. I understood now why so many mathematic whizzes are often very proficient in music as well. I never made that connection until I began making the Illuminati videos. One video in particular, I made for the mere pleasure of it, not only to teach me the art of micro-second timing. I made it to literally represent the lyrics, even though Barry did not mean it to ever be taken literally. He pointed this out, but I explained to him my reason, then he understood.

During all this, I continued to make Tim Roth Tutorials, and I got permission from Barry to upload some rare Shriekback songs, along with songs from his piano solo album Haunted Box of Switches. Today, I got a very gratifying letter about this video I uploaded on 24 June .

The guy said: "This is incredible. I have wanted to own or at least hear this album for nine years, & now I have heard one track from it at least/at last. I have done everything in my power to contact Barry Andrews for a copy but it can't be done. It can't be bought anywhere so my guess is you'd not be stealing anything from Barry if you did? God it's so beautiful. Shriekback have a small private distributor - he hasn't offered it to them this past decade. God alone, and Barry, knows why not. Post more please!"

So I wrote to Barry, including this comment. He wanted me to give him the guy's email address, so he could begin a conversation with him and, hopefully, arrange for him to get the Haunted Box of Switches to him. He also told me that he liked my video interpretation of the song (noting that it ended with an image of Silbury Hill!), which tickled me to death. I have since made a video for "Queen's Beast." I hope he's as equally pleased with this one.

Sundry

I missed my appointment with the psychiatrist. I thought it was on the seventh. No. It was on the second. I'm gonna have to call the on Monday and beg for forgiveness and a new appointment. I feel like a complete loser. I can't even keep my appointments straight.

I am waiting for my new car (well, new to me) to arrive in Greenville from Columbia. Hopefully it will be today. It is not the yellow one, nor is it the black one with a red interior (the Maul-mobile!). This Smart Car is red and only has, I think, 3000 miles on it. It's practically new. And it has a few black bits, so I am not complaining. I just need to fine a way over there.

Diane is doing okay. They put a couple of stints in her heart and is making her go to cardiac rehab for, I think, two weeks. I know she can't drive for two weeks, and that's driving up the wall. She's used to be on the move. Even though she griped about never having time at home, Diane does love to travel about. When I get the Smartie, I'm gonna take her for a ride. I'll stuff Bobby in the back, and awaaaaay we'll go!

I found a picture of the first Smart Car I ever saw. Aunt Tudi and I spied it in Cas Gwent (Chepstow), Wales. Aunt Tudi was over the moon for it, and I was right behind her. I told her that someday, we'd have to get us a Smart Car, but she said it was too small for the two of us and the animals we'd have to take to the veterinarian. I understood her logic, but I was still disappointed that we could not get one. Besides, we'd never seen a Smartie in America, so Aunt Tudi and I were pretty certain they weren't even available across the pond.

I dread tonight. Everyone is going to be setting off fireworks and blowing things up. The patriots will be skittering about like roaches, acting like complete idiots like we told we should act. Our programmers and owners demand nothing less. Those of us who have rejected such submissive behaviour will probably end up dead or in a concentration camp. Will that stop me? No fucking way. I am averse to being told how to act and what to do on certain days. It's trite and tiresome.

Speaking of trite, I made a comment on Facebook about not liking Joss Whedon. And here came the faithful Whedonites, telling me that he's the bees knees. It's like some sort of crime to not like Whedon and especially say that you do. Goddess forbid you deviate from the consensus that Joss Whedon is god returned to Earth to save us all. Firefly sucked, Alien4 Resurrection sucked, Buffy, the Vampire sucked, and Angel sucked. The shows essentially all had the same characters, but with different names. I find that reprehensible and more than a little tiresome. Joss Whedon needs to go away, and his fans need to get over themselves. Everyont\e has an opinion; mine is radically different from the Geek Status Quo. And you know what? I don't give on flying fuck.

Ever since Smidgen was left outside overnight and I spent a majority of my time over at Diane's lately, she has attached herself to me like a tribble covered in Krazy Glue. Right now, she's the proud owner of my right thigh. Last night, she lay on my chest and purred until my breast bone felt numb. It is very odd to have a cat who behaves like Smidgen. The last cat we had, Paisley, was fiercely independent. She did not appreciate being petted, she abhored being picke dup, and she was totally intolerant of other cats. Even dogs. She tried to kill my beagle Henry when he was just a puppy. Needless to say, Henry was always submissive to Paisley. For 19 years, I unable to have any more cats. When Smidgen passed, i found baby Smidge tottering along the edge of our fence. She was only five months old and very poorly. After nursing her back to hell, I discovered that she was the Anti-Paisley. It was a strange experience after 19 years of fierce independence and indifference to everything. When the dogs pass, i'm going to hit the road, and Smidgen is coming along with me. I don't know where we'll en up but, wherever it is, they'll have to accept my my wee fur baby. She is eight years old. If she lives as long as Paisley did, she will ve with me for at least another decade. That is, if the Alpaca Lips doesn't happen in December.

If always contented that when the Higgs Bosun Particle was found, it would mean the end of us all. Guess what? They think they've found it with that freak-ass atom smasher in Switzerland. That thing is going to end up creating a tiny black hole that will spaghettify the entire planet. It just shows that Switzerland sucks.

I'm hungry. It must be time for some macaroni and cheese. If only Andy Partridge were here to share it with me. Ho hum.

Independence Day

I'm doing something that Aunt Tudi and I did every year for fourteen years without fail. I'm watching the movie Independence Day. What is so shocking is that I have not yet lost my mind from grief. I'm not even crying. It makes me miss Aunt Tudi, yes, but it's a wistful kind of longing. I wish she were here to watch the movie with me, but something tells me that she'd kick my arse if I didn't watch it. We would always cheer when New York and Los Angeles would get blown to smithereens. When Dubya was in the office, we would fantasise that he was in the White House when the aliens vaporised it. Good times, good times.

After making 2012Roland Emmerich said that he would no longer make any more disaster films. Well, I don't guess so. He blew up or froze the entire northern hemisphere. He has repeatedly destroyed New York and Los Angeles. Then in 2012 he destroyed the whole damn world. Once you've eradicated your home world, there's really not much left to blow up, freeze, drown, fry, smother, kick, headbutt, or whip real good. So either Emmerich starts making films that don't include much disaster, or he gives up the cinematic ghost, apologisse to the Earth, and retires to highest peak of the South Pole, which is the only place he hasn't eradicated, to my knowledge.

Okay, I'm signing off for now. Washington DC is about to buy a ticket to the biggest weenie roast on Earth. Holy-fucking-Roswell, Batman!