I had intentionally avoided iTunes for the past few days and, as a result, I have not
written in the past few days. So, I opened iTunes this evening. And I'm right back to the Terrible Three. Suddenly, Flint is very real to me again. It should be Cadmus but noooo... Flint has somehow been woven into the mix, irreversibly I am afraid. So what do I do? It's either keep iTunes open and let the songs run their course until I'm bleeding out my eyes so I can write, or keep iTunes closed and let the block take hold of me.
What sorcery is this, anyway?
I want to write, but this is just too much. The anchor for someone I have actively lusted over for over six months now should not be so deeply connected to the anchor for my Demon Child. Not via three little songs. Okay, three BIG songs.
Now I won't be able to listen to these songs without thinking about Flint. And I won't be able to write Flint who
should already be dead without thinking about these songs.
And that's what I don't understand. One of these songs is like Ultimate Swag times Infinity, and Flint is like the Anti-Swag. He's about as unswaggy (that's not even a word) as a person can be. You can't swag in shoes three sizes too big. You can't swag dressed in Vagabond Chic. You shouldn't be able to swag when you
should already be fucking dead!
These songs are inherently Cadmusian, particularly the Ultimate Swag tune. Why can't I ever intentionally link songs up with the proper character? It's like one of the prettiest, one of the gentlest songs I've ever heard, "Clubbed to Death," turned out to be Cadmus' theme song. How did that even happen? And, even though Flint's connectedness to the world is "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay, he's also latched onto these three songs. I can't wrap my mind around it, nor can I dislodge the connection from my brain. And what's so pathetic is, I've already figured out a way to keep the wee bastard alive
yet again, so I'll have to be careful what I listen to until I'm able to kill the fucker off.
Dammit, dammit all to hell!
Nothing ever comes easy for me, at least not in the character department.
That said, since I would have permanently lost 'The Waltham Phantom' if I had not committed it to the Cliffs, I'm going to put the rudimentary beginning of 'Feeding the Tree' here.
Oh, one more thing...when the
hell did Cadmus start calling another person "love?" Pet, yes, but "love?" I'm so bumfuzzled right now, I don't even know what to say.
( the story that will explain the Harming Tree...to a point )EDIT: I just found out that "Viva La Vida" and the album it's on was produced by Brian Eno. ::kills the Universe::
