Things I Wonder
Jun. 5th, 2003 09:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinhuviel- Why is there apple butter and apple jelly, but no apple jam?
- Why is Martha Stewart being railroaded for cashing in stocks when none of the Big Guys of Enron have yet to be punished in any way, shape, or form?
- Why do I let the Cube Man get to me so?
- Why does anyone who makes less that 40K a year vote for any Republican ever?
- Why is marijuana illegal, but alcohol is lauded as this great thing when it's the cause of more auto fatalities and domestic violence you can shake a billy club at?
- Why does the music business sign on lip synching talentless ugly so-called models and then blame the Internet for its sagging revenue?
- Why am I compelled to watch the Austin Powers movies, 'Poltergeist', and 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' every time they come on TV?
- Why is it that Burt Bacharach says "what the world needs now is love, sweet love" when what it really needs a swift kick in the ass?
- Why does the surface of the moon look suspiciously like the Southwest desert?
- Why are people shocked that Richard Chamberlain is, in fact, gay? Didn't everyone already know this?
- Why does my Feudal Mistress wear glasses after forking out over 2 grand for LASIK surgery when everyone else whose had it frolics about eyewear-free?
- How can Aunt Tudi love Jerry Lewis and not be French?
- Why do people (myself included) fall back on gendering the Creative Force?
- Why is my health insurance's members' magazine always full of admonitions about weight gain and advice on how to lose weight for one's health, yet my insurance refuses to pay for any medical help for weight loss, claiming such procedures are considered "cosmetic"? Hello! Can we say "Hypocritic Oath" in lieu of "Hippocratic Oath" here, people?
- Why is it this same insurance company will gladly pay for Viagra?
- Why are British commercials generally entertaining while the majority of American commercials are full of boring shite?
- Why is it that Carnie Wilson feels she needs to pose in Playboy now that she's lost her weight and had a few cosmetic procedures and why hasn't someone like Camryn Manheim bitch-slapped that shallow snit into the previous century?
- Why do I make these lists?
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 07:00 pm (UTC)To give people like me something to do...
HERE ARE MY CONTRIBUTIONS:
* Why do people think that the left lane on the interstate is the Autobahn Lane?
* Why do Teen Magazines publish articles on "being happy with who you are" and then fill their pages with skinny, anorexic girls in clothing and make-up no real girl can ever wear?
* Why is it that when people read a sign saying "Closed" they have to try the door anyway - just to make sure?
* Why do cats love a certain type of food one day and refuse to eat it the next?
* Why do I feel compelled to have to know the answer to everything?
* Why do straight people assume that just because you are a lesbian you are attracted to EVERY woman you meet? (Or worse - that you know every lesbian in town and/or want to date your friend's counsin's aunt who is a lesbian...)
* Why can't I keep Lara Croft alive past the second level?
* Why is it that no one can leave a church parking lot without immediately switching into "road rage" mode?
* Why are textbooks more expensive than the credit hours?
* Why is Hi-C only 10% fruit juice?
* Why did I watch Xanadu again?
Re:
Date: 2003-06-05 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-06 05:48 am (UTC)Yes, I love this problem. The assumption that I would want a woman because I am gay. Had this with a girl at my last job. She was very paranoid about being around me. Like I actually wanted her snotty, anorexic ass! Ew!!
* Why did I watch Xanadu again?
Gravity?
Boredom?
Olivia Newton John on rollerskates?
Re:
Date: 2003-06-07 04:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-08 11:19 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-08 02:02 pm (UTC)I have yet to see all of Barbarella. I have friends who invite people over to see movies then spend the whole time going "no wait - you have to see THIS part" and skipping ahead. I don't go there much any more...
no subject
Date: 2003-06-13 11:22 am (UTC)PS
Date: 2003-06-05 07:19 pm (UTC)Little thoughts from my little mind
Date: 2003-06-05 10:33 pm (UTC)-Why is personal responsibility a dirty phrase?
-How can it be legal for private companies to expect samples of your BODY as a condition of work?
-Why is the emphasis on look instead of substance in todays society?
-Why do we call our republic a democracy? Why is it not a democracy by now?
-How can fundamental liberties guaranteed by every document our country is based on be subject to change?
-Why is violence okay for minors but natural functions such as the human body and sex education are no-no's
-Why is it so hard to find a movie critic with a clue?
-How are you supposed to make lemonade out of life's lemons without some sugar to go with them?
-Who else wants to start again on an island somewhere?
-How many fingers am I holding up?
I only have "Answers" for two of your questions. British commercials are better than American ones because they have less limits and less worry of being sued. The other is that if someone is dangerous they should be stopeed (ie drunk driving, driving on drugs etc) but really how is it illegal to do something to your own body? It seems like everyone is afraid of heuristics nowadays .. everything has to be black or white (This is allowed, this isn't) and it leads to a lot of stupid laws which limit about everyone though they are made for the most stupid 2% of the population.
Wow I just ranted in your comments, sorry. 8)
Marten
Re: Little thoughts from my little mind
Date: 2003-06-06 03:59 am (UTC)(and you're holding up 3 fingers for normal folks, but only one for the 2% of the population about which you ranted)
Damn!
Date: 2003-06-06 05:52 am (UTC)I was indeed holding up 4 fingers .. though the middle one was not specifically esignated for one group 8)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-06 05:07 am (UTC)For real! No-one I know ever smoked out then went home to kick the wife, kids, dog, etc. Not only should marijuana be legal, but mandatory in certain instances :p
My question? Why is there sales tax on Tampax? They're not luxury items, y'know....
rhetoric lost on me today...
Date: 2003-06-06 05:45 am (UTC)B) Two reasons--1) She's a woman in a position of power and authority. 2) She doesn't own any oil and/or governments.
C) I don't think I want to know what a "Cube Man" is.
D) I can't hazard a guess that doesn't involve petty insults. I'm sensitive right now.
E) Alcohol lobby gives appearance of being more respectable than Pot lobby~~also more Republicans. See D.
F) I gave up speculating on the alleged planning and thinking power of the music industry years ago (about the time the New Kids On The Block were cloned and formed into the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, et al), but if I had to hazard a guess it's because of sex. I would be more comfortable if it was money or cult of personality or something like that, but increasingly I'm convinced that it's all about who is willing to put out for who, when and when their contract is up. The music industry is the last great bastion of indentured servitude. It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. It's a great lumbering dinosaur of acquisition and pyramid logistics that seems designed to insure real talent ingenuity are punished and acquiesence and obedience are rewarded.
G) You've got me on this one. I have no problem resisting Austin Powers movies, though a Poltergeist movie damn near claimed me last night.
H) Someone should right this song--"What the world needs, is a kick in the ass, what the world needs, is a boot up it's butt, what the world needs is love sweet love, but first I'm gonna lay the stick to its heiny, This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you, yeah, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you, yeah, GO GET A SWITCH!!!"
I) Can't get it. I've tried, but I suppose it's because they are both dusty and oxygen free.
J) People don't know Richard Chamberlain is gay? Where have they BEEN?!
K) How long ago did your Feudal Mistress have her surgery? Contrary to popular belief, LASIK will revert and one's eyes will slowly return to their original condition. Also, I hear it causes headaches and depth perception problems with a few special cases...
L) Are you 100% SURE she's not French? Check for telltale signs--Black berets, striped shirts, Moet and Chandon, croissants, opposition to American military belligerance...
M) It's easier. We are simply not hardwired to think in neutral. I think it's possible and we can, but it requires continuous, conscious thought.
N) Because they don't want you to lose weight to be healthy. They want you to lose weight because weight loss is a billion dollar industry. Why aren't you already spending billions of dollars on weight loss?! Why should they help you cover the cash cow?
O) In a word--Men.
P) Some American commercials are funny. Most of them are annoying. I still enjoy a lot of Geico's advertising, particularly the ones with no gecko. French commercials are also entertaining.
Q) SHE DID WHAT?! My disgust at that woman is complete now. I didn't think it could get any worse. Have you ever seen "The Tenth Kingdom"? Camryn Manheim is a wonderful Snow White.
R) I don't know. Why did I actually attempt to answer it?