Llew, Presskit, Pain

[tinhuviel]

There was a fair amount of drama yesterday. I poured out my negativity, fear, and pain and it wasn't received very well. Llew offered to let me go, saying he didn't want to cause me anymore pain. This, on top of the bad news about my father, just threw me into full panic mode. We talked about it, face to face, and he doesn't want to break up. He's just afraid of causing me pain. I don't want to break up either, but I'm going through a lot right now, and I need someone to lean on. As it stands, in two days we're coming together to decide where we go from here.

I'm sending a promo pack to RCA. Hopefully, they'll take Barry's music and do something with it. That would be a Good Thing.

Today, I got up in mortal screaming pain. The sciatica is worse and no my upper back has gone out and I'm having shooting pains down my right arm. I can barely fucking move. On top of that, I'm battling a migraine headache, brought about I'm sure by all the crying done over the weekend. It's becoming apparent that I should not have come to work today, but it would just be worse on me later if I took any time off.

All I want to do is sleep.

Comments

*fumes*

[irenes.livejournal.com]

Men!

He probably thought he was being helpful and showing how much he cared by saying that. Unfortunately, I'm sure to you, it only seems to drive home the feelings of not being needed.

Ahh, the gender gap.

I don't really know you, and I certainly don't know him. I also realize that you haven't asked for my advice - but you seem really happy with him, in general. I know it's been kinda difficult for you in the last few weeks, but ... I dunno. *sigh* Just don't let a communication SNAFU rob you of something you really value.

Re: *fumes*

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

You're a very wise lady. Thank you.

[lausa.livejournal.com]

"When sorrows come they come not single spies, but in battalions." There's a lot on your plate right now. Hope you feel better.

Ah, Hamlet!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Thank you, dear. I appreciate the kind thoughts.
And this is the first time Shakespeare has been quoted in my journal. I feel special.

[falkenna.livejournal.com]

irenes is IMHO making sense. He may be being "funny", but I think your frame of mind is part of what's going on here. And both of you having serious health problems is not helping. Patience.

The worst possible time to have email problems as well. But I'm here in spirit, and for real if you can catch me -- I'll try to leave IM going more tonight.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I'm working on that hideous thing called patience....thanks so much, Tallis. :)

[crimsonblossom.livejournal.com]

fwiw, it sounds to me as though you were needing Llew to step up to the plate and be the strong Master that you really need right now. perhaps because of the trouble he's been having lately, he could only see the pain he's added rather than the need you have right now?

when i'm done in, under a pile of hell, what i miss most of all is being taken by the scruff of the neck by the one who put the collar there. batteries are recharged in that headspace.

you're in my thoughts. i hope there is recharging in your life very soon, no matter how it happens.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

This makes so much sense to me. Thank you for putting it into the words I was unable to express.

[godblossom.livejournal.com]

petals and painkillers, m'dear....

::kiss::

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Yep, in about an hour, I hope. :)
((hugs))