Christmas Breakfast with You

[tinhuviel]

 
My deepest apologies to Weird Al Yankovic.
I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
than eat Christmas breakfast with you.
I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
than eat Christmas breakfast with you.
I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches,
Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two,
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue
than eat Christmas breakfast with you.
Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks,
Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue,
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
than eat Christmas breakfast with you.
I'd rather rip out my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'til I die...
than eat Christmas breakfast with you.

Comments

[circumspectly]

Amen!

I'd rather eat shit sandwiches for the rest of my life...
than eat Christmas breakfast with you (Trump).

[tinhuviel]

We grok completely, yo. BTW, did you delete your FB?

[circumspectly]

I did for a day or two...but then remembered that I'm the administrator of the theatre page for the community college that I'm directing at...and the students were squawking. So I'm back...just not real active. I still do some reading, just not a lot of original content posting.