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tinhuvielAfter 4 hours of power sleeping from 8 til Noon, I jumped out of bed and got ready to go to town with Aunt Tudi. Our mission: to pick up a Winnie the Pooh gift for the lady whose name I drew at Telesuck, try to find a toy machine gun for the mass-murderer in the making that Johnna is raising, look for a big plastic garbage can, find a musical Xmas for Aunt Josephine, and pick up Aunt Tudi's Xmas giftie.
The first stop was going to be The Disney Store at the mall. We arrived at the mall a little before 3 PM and the parking lots were nothing but seas of cars as far as the horrified eye could see. As for the mall itself...what can I say? Well, I really can't say anything that would appropriately describe the grotesqueries to which we were subjected inside those cement walls. I think Obi-Wan Kenobi said it best, when he was talking about Mos Eisley spaceport:
"You'll never see a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
Within 5 minutes of being caught up in the horribleday throng, I felt like a pinball in the machine from Hell. We found the musical Xmas card first, then tried to locate The Disney Store, but GUESS WHAT? That store had closed down. No big surprise really. You all but had to pay to even walk into the store and, god forbid that you'd want to buy anything! I figured I might be able to get a Winnie the Pooh sticker for within the $10 cap placed on our Telesuck gifties. Oh well, what to do now? We wandered about in hopelessness for about 15 minutes until I saw a calendar vendor in the middle of the mall. Hmmm! Off we went to see if there was anything Disney related. We were in luck! I got Jan a mini Pooh calendar and a bendy Pooh keychain. Both came to $10.44, so that's not bad. What was bad was the chick who checked us out. She was a little too perky...a little too.......happy. The Christmas Spirit had transformed this young lady into a Stepford Wife. It was truly scary. Not was that scary, but what she divulged to Aunt Tudi and me has preyed on my mind all day long. After thoroughly inspecting my ID, she noted that I didn't have on as much make-up in RL as I did on my license. She then proceeded to talk about how she rarely wore make-up herself any more, but she'd found this wonderful product that did wonders for her skin and closed up her pores like magick. "Would you like to know what it is?" she said, with a maddening grin upon her poreless face. "Sure," I said, just wishing she'd give me my Pooh stuff and let me leave. "I use Preparation H on my face. It's wonderful!" Maybe it is, lady, but now I'm squicked because you've given me a whole new definition for the term "butthead". Oy vey.
After finally escaping Preparation H Girl, Aunt Tudi and I went on to Toys R Us to try to find the Monster's gun. Sorry, they don't carry guns. Too bad....there were plenty of unruly brats that needed killin' right there and then.
Off to Wally World. To our shock and horror, Wally World didn't have what we wanted or needed. Isn't Wally World supposed to have everything to better able run every other store on Earth out of business? The only thing we got at Wal-Mart was jostled about by over-enthusiastic horribleday shoppers. By the time we fought out way back out to the car, my last nerve was visibly frayed. I suggested to Aunt Tudi that we postpone going to Lowes. Instead, we went on to Circuit City to pick up Aunt Tudi's Xmas gift, a new telecorder since her 10 year old TV went kaput last month. Circuit City was the easiest place we visited. Goddess bless electronic stores!
By the time we were finished with our XMAS excursion, the clock was showing a little before 5 PM. Something that should have taken us only about an hour had eaten up over 2 hours of our time. On our way home, Aunt Tudi expressed a desire to get me something for the holidays. I told her that not having to go back out into the world until after Xmas would be gift enough for me.
After a few minutes at home, I went out to get Llew. On the way back, we got some pizza and settled in for the evening. It was wonderful to be back in his arms again. We napped from 8 til 10 at which time I had to get ready for work.
On the way to work, I stopped at a gas station and picked up an Amp energy drink because I was feeling pretty shaky from being so tired. I'd never had an energy drink before, but I'd heard they really work. Ohmigawd! It was like drinking cold formaldehyde! The taste alone woke me up because I thought I was gonna die!
So here I am...back at Telesuck. I've been here since 11 and have had 4 calls. It's going to be a long night, I can already tell. Maybe I'll try my hand at writing some non-Maul erotic fiction. That would be a hoot.
The first stop was going to be The Disney Store at the mall. We arrived at the mall a little before 3 PM and the parking lots were nothing but seas of cars as far as the horrified eye could see. As for the mall itself...what can I say? Well, I really can't say anything that would appropriately describe the grotesqueries to which we were subjected inside those cement walls. I think Obi-Wan Kenobi said it best, when he was talking about Mos Eisley spaceport:
"You'll never see a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
Within 5 minutes of being caught up in the horribleday throng, I felt like a pinball in the machine from Hell. We found the musical Xmas card first, then tried to locate The Disney Store, but GUESS WHAT? That store had closed down. No big surprise really. You all but had to pay to even walk into the store and, god forbid that you'd want to buy anything! I figured I might be able to get a Winnie the Pooh sticker for within the $10 cap placed on our Telesuck gifties. Oh well, what to do now? We wandered about in hopelessness for about 15 minutes until I saw a calendar vendor in the middle of the mall. Hmmm! Off we went to see if there was anything Disney related. We were in luck! I got Jan a mini Pooh calendar and a bendy Pooh keychain. Both came to $10.44, so that's not bad. What was bad was the chick who checked us out. She was a little too perky...a little too.......happy. The Christmas Spirit had transformed this young lady into a Stepford Wife. It was truly scary. Not was that scary, but what she divulged to Aunt Tudi and me has preyed on my mind all day long. After thoroughly inspecting my ID, she noted that I didn't have on as much make-up in RL as I did on my license. She then proceeded to talk about how she rarely wore make-up herself any more, but she'd found this wonderful product that did wonders for her skin and closed up her pores like magick. "Would you like to know what it is?" she said, with a maddening grin upon her poreless face. "Sure," I said, just wishing she'd give me my Pooh stuff and let me leave. "I use Preparation H on my face. It's wonderful!" Maybe it is, lady, but now I'm squicked because you've given me a whole new definition for the term "butthead". Oy vey.
After finally escaping Preparation H Girl, Aunt Tudi and I went on to Toys R Us to try to find the Monster's gun. Sorry, they don't carry guns. Too bad....there were plenty of unruly brats that needed killin' right there and then.
Off to Wally World. To our shock and horror, Wally World didn't have what we wanted or needed. Isn't Wally World supposed to have everything to better able run every other store on Earth out of business? The only thing we got at Wal-Mart was jostled about by over-enthusiastic horribleday shoppers. By the time we fought out way back out to the car, my last nerve was visibly frayed. I suggested to Aunt Tudi that we postpone going to Lowes. Instead, we went on to Circuit City to pick up Aunt Tudi's Xmas gift, a new telecorder since her 10 year old TV went kaput last month. Circuit City was the easiest place we visited. Goddess bless electronic stores!
By the time we were finished with our XMAS excursion, the clock was showing a little before 5 PM. Something that should have taken us only about an hour had eaten up over 2 hours of our time. On our way home, Aunt Tudi expressed a desire to get me something for the holidays. I told her that not having to go back out into the world until after Xmas would be gift enough for me.
After a few minutes at home, I went out to get Llew. On the way back, we got some pizza and settled in for the evening. It was wonderful to be back in his arms again. We napped from 8 til 10 at which time I had to get ready for work.
On the way to work, I stopped at a gas station and picked up an Amp energy drink because I was feeling pretty shaky from being so tired. I'd never had an energy drink before, but I'd heard they really work. Ohmigawd! It was like drinking cold formaldehyde! The taste alone woke me up because I thought I was gonna die!
So here I am...back at Telesuck. I've been here since 11 and have had 4 calls. It's going to be a long night, I can already tell. Maybe I'll try my hand at writing some non-Maul erotic fiction. That would be a hoot.
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no subject
Date: 2003-12-06 10:30 pm (UTC)Two words - e-bay and amazon
Start .com slapping and you have a hassel free holiday.
Some even gift wrap. Oh the joy.
My theory is I would spend the same on gas and frustration as I would on shipping and handling.