Kind and Dougie

[tinhuviel]

He said I am the kindest, most loving person he knows.

My heart is swollen and about to pop with joy.

We were cuddled up listening to Dougie MacLean, one of the CDs I lent Llew a while back and needed back to make a tape for piperdawn. When "Broken Wings" came on, my heart just sank. It's not a song someone who loves to fly and has just recently crashed needs to hear. I waited for it....and it didn't take but just a few seconds before Llew said, "Yeah, my broken wings won't fly..."

The ache I felt for him when it happened came flooding back and straight out of my eyes. Maybe I feel too much or maybe I'm just a sop, but I can't help it. I so wish I could make it all better, maybe turn back time and prevent the crash somehow. It was then he told me that I was kind and loving.

I don't feel that way most of the time. He sees something in me that I am unable to see in myself. Is it all an illusion for him? Or am I so used to wearing a tough, eat shit exterior that I'm incapable of displaying any good qualities, even to myself? I don't know, but I'm glad Llew thinks so highly of me. I don't want to disappoint him by shattering that illusion, if that is indeed what it is. Maybe the illusion can become reality someday.

Anyway.....
It had been quite a while since I'd listened to Dougie and it's amazing how similar his and Billy Boyd's voices really are! Forever shall they be linked in my mind now, and that means that Billy Boyd is now connected to Davis, who sings "Caledonia" so wonderfully in concert with Kilmoulis Selkie. When I'm present for a performance, he always dedicates that song to me because he knows how much I love it and adore harmonising with him. Sometimes I really miss those days when I saw the world in sunsplash technicoulour and was soaked in Celtic reverie. I digress. Now that Billy Boyd and Davis are now linked by way of Dougie, does that mean that Davis is a Hobbit at heart? And what about Dougie? I always thought of Dougie being more of an Elf, mainly because of "Over My Mountain".

Well, this has been a wildly rambling post. The only way to end it now is with some lyrics.

Broken Wings

A tall tree
Turn and face the west
O we're running with the wind
A high clifftop
We're waiting with the rest
For this journey to begin

But these broken wings won't fly
These broken wings won't fly at all

And O how we laugh
But maybe we should crawl
And ask to be excused
We shout loudly
Have answers to it all
O but we have been refused

But these broken wings won't fly
These broken wings won't fly at all

Girl child
You're dancing with the stream
Growing with the silver trees
Your young questions
You ask me what it means
O but I am not at ease

But these broken wings won't fly
These broken wings won't fly at all



Caledonia

I dont know if you can see, the changes that have come over me
In these last few days, ive been afraid that i might drift away
And ive been tellin old stories, singing songs
That made me think about where i came from
Thats the reason why i seem so far away today.

Oh but let me tell you that i love you
And i think about you all the time
Caledonia your callin me and im goin home
But if i should become a stranger
You know that it would make me more than sad
Caledonia your everythin ive ever had.


Well ive been moved, and ive kept on movin
Proved the points that i needed proovin
Lost the friends i needed loosin
Found others on the way
And i have kissed the ladies and left them cryin
Stolen dreams theres no denying
Travelled hard with contience flyin
Somewhere with the wind

Oh but let me tell you that i love you
And i think about you all the time
Caledonia your callin me and im goin home
But if i should become a stranger
You know that it would make me more than sad
Caledonia your everythin ive ever had.

Now im sitting here, beside the fire
The empty room the forest choir
Flames that couldnt get any higher
Theyve withered now there gone
But im steady thinking my way is clear,
And i know what i must do tomorrow
When the hands ive shaken and the flown i will dissapear.

Oh but let me tell you that i love you
And i think about you all the time
Caledonia your callin me and im goin home
But if i should become a stranger
You know that it would make me more than sad
Caledonia your everythin ive ever had.

Comments

[falkenna.livejournal.com]

"Or am I so used to wearing a tough, eat shit exterior that I'm incapable of displaying any good qualities, even to myself?"

Try "*but only* to myself".
That about sums it up.

[lithiumlady.livejournal.com]

Llew = Jack Black in Shallow Hal w/o the first 45-60 minutes of lame, concited attitude.