Sasquatchia Speaks!
Dec. 21st, 2004 07:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinhuvielI'm a hairy woman. Hairy, dammit, hairy!
I'm so hairy that Llew is jealous. I have more hair on my chest than he does.
Before my surgery, the hormones that make me so furry also gave me a sex drive to match any man's. I was a hairy horny woman from hell! Now I'm just hairy, but I hope to regain the horniness soon. At least now I'm missing my libido. For ever the longest, I had no drive and didn't care to have any. I was happy being a sexless lump. Perhaps I am recovering.
But this isn't about my libido. It's about the fact that I'm a Sasquatch. It runs in the family, see. My mom is a Sasquatch. My aunt, Felice, is also a Sasquatch. Neither of them are as hairy as I am, though.
I AM SASQUATCHIA, the furry queen of hirsutism. If fate dictates that I lose my home and my job, and some horrid event prevents my returning to school in order to change careers, I could very easily just go nekkid, run off to the Pacific Northwest, and amaze visiting X-Philes with the occasional "sighting" while I forage for berries.
I haven't shaved in quite some while. I'm on a shaving strike. I have saved about a week of my precious time by refusing to engage in my normal 'depilatorial' (new word!!!) ritual. Just by my pits, I could pass for a French model. The only bit I shave is my chin, simply because I don't fancy going to work and embarrasing the big guy by having a better beard than he could ever hope to grow....the wuss.... Everything else has been left to grow, and grow it has! I could get by with not wearing a coat this Winter since I have a layer of fur going on now. Give it a couple of months and I'll be able to corn row my legs and armpits.
My only concern is that I have a perfect circle on my left leg where no hair is growing. It's a total bald spot. My theory is that a UFO two inches in diameter landed on my leg and I never knew about it because I was shaving. Why would these tiny aliens want to make a crop circle on my appendage? We may never know. I'm just glad I stopped shaving so I could find out this anomaly. Where's Mulder when I need him? He'd have a two-fer with me: Evidence of a UFO landing and the scientific proof of Sasquatch. I'm ready for my 15 minutes of fame!
I'm so hairy that Llew is jealous. I have more hair on my chest than he does.
Before my surgery, the hormones that make me so furry also gave me a sex drive to match any man's. I was a hairy horny woman from hell! Now I'm just hairy, but I hope to regain the horniness soon. At least now I'm missing my libido. For ever the longest, I had no drive and didn't care to have any. I was happy being a sexless lump. Perhaps I am recovering.
But this isn't about my libido. It's about the fact that I'm a Sasquatch. It runs in the family, see. My mom is a Sasquatch. My aunt, Felice, is also a Sasquatch. Neither of them are as hairy as I am, though.
I AM SASQUATCHIA, the furry queen of hirsutism. If fate dictates that I lose my home and my job, and some horrid event prevents my returning to school in order to change careers, I could very easily just go nekkid, run off to the Pacific Northwest, and amaze visiting X-Philes with the occasional "sighting" while I forage for berries.
I haven't shaved in quite some while. I'm on a shaving strike. I have saved about a week of my precious time by refusing to engage in my normal 'depilatorial' (new word!!!) ritual. Just by my pits, I could pass for a French model. The only bit I shave is my chin, simply because I don't fancy going to work and embarrasing the big guy by having a better beard than he could ever hope to grow....the wuss.... Everything else has been left to grow, and grow it has! I could get by with not wearing a coat this Winter since I have a layer of fur going on now. Give it a couple of months and I'll be able to corn row my legs and armpits.
My only concern is that I have a perfect circle on my left leg where no hair is growing. It's a total bald spot. My theory is that a UFO two inches in diameter landed on my leg and I never knew about it because I was shaving. Why would these tiny aliens want to make a crop circle on my appendage? We may never know. I'm just glad I stopped shaving so I could find out this anomaly. Where's Mulder when I need him? He'd have a two-fer with me: Evidence of a UFO landing and the scientific proof of Sasquatch. I'm ready for my 15 minutes of fame!
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 01:15 am (UTC)You crack me up!
:D
no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 02:23 am (UTC)Cystic ovaries?
Like me?
*cries in her sugar free Russell Stover peanut clusters*
no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 02:57 pm (UTC)I don't share with anyone, but you? I'll share with.