Tinhuviel Artanis

I never go through a Thanksgiving without thinking of the return letter Todd and I got in the mail while still working for the Readers Digest division of BMG. It was written phonetically by an obviously non-native English speaker. I remember it perfectly and transcribe it here for you.

I do not laik musick in mai laif. I hef beth laif in trable. -- Teng You

We were working overtime that night and spent a good thirty minutes of BMG's precious time slumped on the desk in literal hysterics. Yes, we had to wipe out eyes. Or..yes, we hed to waip owr ai's. That was in 1991 I think because I recall working a lot of overtime to help Todd with returns letters during the time "Walk on the Ocean" was popular. Oh, and speaking of "Walk on the Ocean," it was also during working overtime that I called the radio station to request that song, not knowing a contest was going on. I ended up being the correct caller and winning two tickets to a male strip show. All I wanted was my freakin' song. I gave the tickets to a coworker and ended up buying the Toad the Wet Sprocket album.

Another odd memory of those days was the BMG open house in 1988. Todd and I were grabbed by this person in an elephant costume and we had a picture taken. We never found out who was in the costume and, years later, still got a little freaked out by it. "Attacked by Furries!" on Fox News at 10!

Why do these memories flood forth now? Perhaps it's because I'm high on coffee. Perhaps it's because I got a good night's sleep for once in forever. Perhaps it's because I miss Todd and miss happier days. Perhaps it's all of the above combined with the fact it's Tengsgiving. I often wonder about the person who wrote that letter. How can you not laik musick in your laif? I cannot imagine.

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On a wholly different matter, luvthyjoker showed me the trailer to the upcoming film Daybreakers. While I'm excited about seeing this (Sam Neill as a Vampire, hello?), I'm also a little ticked off because they're using a concept that I use in The Vampire Relics: the idea of humans as blood herds for Vampires (or at least for Cadmus). Just last night I touched upon this again as I wrote furiously for NaNo:

Someday, though…someday, he would be strong enough to overcome her and feed her to her own chalice. And then he would take the Great Hive and make it his personal herd, feeding on the Vampires one after the other until the vermin were removed from the planet forever. And then he would start on the humans, feeding them to the chalice, transforming their blood and drinking his fill. The Earth would be his hunting ground and woe would be uttered by every living thing at his behest.

Now, I've got tons of notes that pre-date this movie by a good twenty years, so I'm not changing a damned thing, they can't make me! Besides, it's not like the world is full of Vampires. It's just this one lone black hole of a Vampire who plans to devour the entire planet someday. Same basic concept, different direction. And that's only his aim, anyway. We still aren't sure if he'll ever succeed.

For folks who came to this journal after August 2005, the Pit refers to my previous place of employment, what was once called BMG Entertainment, but later became Sony BMG. My Friend Todd still works for them. That's actually how we met, working at what was then known as the RCA Music Service way back in 1987.

Anyway, he forwarded this Billboard news article to me. I called him as soon as I got the email to see where this leaves him. He doesn't know because the weasels who run the company aren't talking. They're pretty much doing what they did back in 2004, keeping their lips closed for as long as they can in order to maintain control of what few employees they have left up until the very end when these wage slaves are no longer needed.

Apparently, the club portion of the industry (buy fortyleven CDs for a penny and give your souls to us, that club, dig?) has already been sold. This means that the folks in the last remaining Duncan warehouse are all out of a job pretty much. At least that's how it seems to be going down. I hope I'm mistaken about this, but I don't think so. Of course, no one in the halls of power will lose their jobs, just the "little people" who actually need their jobs and the insurance that comes along with them.

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I spent yesterday in the emergency room holding my head in my lap after it fell off and rolled away. clumsycake came to the house, picked up my head, and drove me to the ER. I loves me some clumsycake. The first thing they did when they got me to the triage room was ask about insurance. Now, they can't refuse treatment to people who have no insurance, but they sure as hell harass you after the fact.

The doctor came in and shown light in my eyes. After I grabbed him by the collar and shook him to and fro for doing such a horrible thing to a person with a migraine, he ordered me up a migraine injection comprised of a cocktail of nubain and phenergin. The nurse came in shortly afterward, injected a half gallon of liquid into my hiney, reattached my head, and sent me home to die.

I told a lady at work today that, when the hospital sends me the bill, I'm forwarding it to Dubya. The bastich can afford to pay it much more easily than I, who can't pay it at all at the mo. His policies and evil deeds are the reason why I can't afford a visit to the ER and probably why my migraines have increased in severity and frequency anyway. Bastich.... We hates him, Precious. Hates. Him.