Tinhuviel Artanis

clumsycake called Aunt Tudi around 6. She was just heading home after spending a lovely day at the hospital. Sure enough, her bladder has prolapsed and she needs surgery. They sent her home to take it easy until her surgery can be scheduled. 2008....Baby New Year is doin' it rong! He's made of fail this year. 2009 has to be better, there's just no two ways about it.

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There's this chick at Sally Foster by the name of Arlene who is the epitome of the Church Lady. She doesn't ask anyone if their deeds are because of SAAAATAAAAN?? but her behaviour indicates that she really really wants to. She's also, as she puts it, very sheltered, despite being around my age, so some of the things she says can only be explained by her lack of experience. For instance, she came into the control room at the beginning of our shift and said to me, "Do you know what Tammy asked me yesterday?"

"What's that?" I asked, thinking that there was no telling, because Tammy loves getting Arlene's goat.

"She asked me if I was married to a black man!"

Taking up Tammy's torch, I asked "Well, are you?"

"No!" Arlene exclaimed, scandalised by the, to her, naughty thought of interracial coupling.

"Well, would you like to be?"

"I don't think my current husband would approve of me having more than one spouse," she said.

"Okay but, if you weren't married, would you like to be married to a black man?"

Arlene turned her eyes to the ceiling in thought, then gave this measured reply. "If I was in love with him, sure. God doesn't see colour, so neither should I."

"God doesn't see colour? Sure she does!" I said, relishing my opportunity.

"No he doesn't."

"Sure she does!" I reiterated.

"No! No he doesn't."

"Of course she does. God sees everything in colour and colour in everything. How else would you explain this beautiful technicolour world in which we live? God definitely sees colour. It's what her creations do with her colours that cause the problems, not with her perception and creation of the colours themselves."

Arlene mulled this over, both the colour philosophy and the god as female implication I insisted on making, then she said, "I never thought about it like that." And she drifted out of the control room, uncharacteristically quiet.

Later on, she was back in there about a different, work-related issue, but got to kidding around with Tammy, Amy, and me. Tammy said something off-colour to her and Amy piped up and said, "I bet you'll be going home to pray tonight, won't you Arlene?"

"No! I'll be right over there on my lane praying as soon as I leave this office!"

"Well, let me know what she says when god answers!" I chortled.

Arlene just looked at me and smiled as she left the control room. Fun!

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Earlier today, en route to the hospital, I found something in the Sweet Sweet Ride that makes it even sweeter. clumsycake was present to see my instantaneous geekgasm upon my discovery. In the storage compartment located between the two front seats, I stumbled upon this:



I know it's blurry, so I'll explain what it is for those who can't make it out: it's a USB port for an iPod. I don't need my FM tuner in my Sweet Sweet Ride. I can patch Son of iGor directly into my Sweet Sweet Ride, which is what I'll be doing first thing tomorrow morning on my way to the dollar store. I'm so thrilled by this new discovery, I am literally light-headed.