Tinhuviel Artanis

I was looking up "cadonkadonk" (don't ask) on Urban Dictionary when I saw the name Cadmus there. I was all "holy hell, why is Cadmus on Urban Dictionary?" I just had to click it. Had to. I wish I hadn't. I really did not need this definition emblazoned across the insides of my eyelids, much less tattooed on my brain. But there it is, and now I just pray for a swift and painless end to it all.

The definitions, in all their glory.

1. To make sweet sweet loving to a member of the opposite sex.

She was screaming my name in pure ecstasy as we cadmussed all night long.

2. Super sexin' hawt loving to the max.
   I cadmussed that hot bitch all night!


3. Crap.
   The car I bought has some serious mechanical issues. It's a real piece of cadmus.

Please please someone just come and kill me now. I'll buy you dinner, before the deed, that is.