Tinhuviel Artanis

Most every time I'd bellyache about my life, Granny would pipe up with this dollop of wisdom: I cried because I had no shoes until I met the man who had no feet. That is to say, "there's always someone worse off than you, so shut your pie-hole." Even though this pissed me off, it often made me a bit more grateful for what I did have, and it always shut me up. Until....

Until I grew older, more cynical, a tad jaded, and a whole hell of a lot snarkier. I took Granny's dollop of wisdom and updated it. Since I have no children onto whom to pass this, I'm sharing it here, so that your children's children might take solace in the words.

I cried because I had no shoes until I met the man who had no feet. So I took his shoes, as he obviously wouldn't be needing them.

::tosses crap glittery fairy dust for to cut your eyeballs with::