tinhuviel: (Toby)
Granted, 'tis not the season, but Aunt Tudi just found the card, so I don't give a damn if it's the season or not, this is funny as hell, no matter what. The card was sent to me by The [livejournal.com profile] mother_unit in 1987.

Here's a picture of the card.

Photobucket

THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO N.Y. ONE CHRISTMAS

One day Ima go to New York to a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss toast. She branga me only onea piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better no piss on the plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch!

Later, I go to eat soma lunch at Drake Restaurant, the waitress bringa me a spoon, ana knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tellsa me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me a sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager ana tell him I wanna sheet. He tells me to go to the toilet. So I say you no understand, I wanna sheet on the bed. He say you better not sheet on the bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man ana he call me sonna ma bitch.

I go to the check out and the man at the desk, he say peace to you. I say piss onna you too, you sonna ma bitch. I got back to Italy!

February 2019

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