"Going through the Old Diary"

[tinhuviel]

It's a song title from a piece on "Haunted Box of Switches" by Barry Andrews, and it feels like that's what I've been doing. In all actuality, I've been going through dresser drawers. I found my old Rider-Waite deck, my Celtic Tarot, and the box for the Robin Wood Tarot but, in lieu of cards, there was instead a wax poppet, a wooden heart, a small bag of keys, and a scrap of paper that says "psychic work" in Tarmi Tamllorann.

Also found:

• A draft of some section of The Chalice, dating back to probably 1988, not long after Cadmus' creation.
• My Witches' Rede and Initiation taper given to me when I was initiated into First Degree.


• My wooden Pentacle purchased at Rainbows & Moonbeams "back in the day."


• My ceramic Pentacle made by yours truly.


• My bag of FUTHARK.


• A paper spell I'd done back in 1991 to help Pierce, one of Johnna's many neglected pets, find a decent home.


• My old Witches Bible by Janet and Stewart Ferrar.


• Some black candles so old they are literally disintegrating

This makes me want to pull out all my other Craft paraphernalia and conduct a full-blown, no-holds-barred High Ritual. One of my favourite kinds. Not to make magick or engage in any wish-fulfillment; rather, to worship ~ just worship and do so with a deep and unfettered passion.

Rose Red is on Sci-Fi right now. Mmmmmmmmmmm.....Julian Sands.....

Comments

Re: Comfort zones

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Wow.

"wow"

[spencer-diehard.livejournal.com]

Don't know if that "wow" is about all the words I used, or how it probably contrasts with your own self image, and boundary needs versus emotional needs.

I am fifty, with a certain amount of trial-and-error mileage on myself. Seen the consequences of all kinds of 'solutions.' Still don't have solid answers, really, but definitely opinionated, all the same.

Re: "wow"

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

I guess it was just from the amount of information you imparted. I tend to personalize most of what I read - and I, like you, am definitely opinionated. While our core belief systems vary quite widely, I have a great deal of respect and admiration for you, based on what I've read in your journal, and here. Especially admiration for your self-realization and attempts to repair the damage done by others. It's something I want to do for myself, and I suspect you could teach me a lot about my view of sexuality and my value as a person. My boundary needs and emotional needs are so skewed I fear they will never be rectified. And I'm not 100% sure I want them to be.

I'm in the process of moving my belongings from one office to another, so I must tear myself away from this beast of a computer. I was reluctant last night to ask if I might friend you, for I fear that my personal journal is likely too fluffy and self-absorbed to hold your interest. But I know I could learn a lot from you, and I'd like to try, without you feeling like you must 'friend' me in return.

"friend" away

[spencer-diehard.livejournal.com]

The significant thing, the bottom line, for me, is for people not to 'bond' on false premise. That's what the local Pagan friend did. She and I were essentially of the same resolve, or so she said. Even though she was devoutly "monogamous" and I identify as "poly" -- the business of shared issues and shared resolves --- that felt like a betrayal.

(Some people are very needy of numbers, of a sense of 'popularity,' and they don't care what price they pay.)

However, you say the truth about your own resolves and conduct, and accept mine, and that's enough for me.

I will be "friending" you, too.

lovely!

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Then I look forward to reading and being read.