More Things I Wonder

• Who is the Mitsubishi guy?


• If the government is going paperless, why have they opened up the Alaskan wilderness to loggers?
  
• How can a morning radio show be so ridiculously one-sided? Screw you, B-93.7!


• What does it feel like to be truly thin?


• Who invented bobble-heads and why?


• Why are the hear-no-evil, see-no-evil, speak-no-evil statues always represented as monkeys?


• Why do all septic tank servicemen sound alike? Are they all just one person with several of the same business?


• Why are there accents?


• Why does Travis find 'Mommie Dearest' so deeply horrifying? And why am I compelled to call him to let him know every time it's on TV?


• Why was anyone shocked when Rosie came out of the closet?<'li>
  
• Why are plus-sized clothes overpriced and always in floral patterns? Just because you're fat doesn't mean you want to go around looking like a mobile jungle.


• Why do business people all look alike ~ like cardboard cutouts of the same tired old white crackers that run the world?


• Will 'The Matrix Reloaded' be as revolutionary as 'The Matrix'?


• Will I ever get to meet Barry Andrews?


• Why is my boss so breathtakingly superficial? Is it genetic or something enforced in business courses?


• Will Dubya get a 2nd term in the White House or will the people actually get to choose our president like in the good old days when we were a democracy?


• Will I ever make it Europe or, at least, Canada?


• For that matter, will I ever get to live on the coast of Maine?


• Will Llew and I get to realise our most profound wishes?


• What unholy process is used to make Listerine Oral Care Strips?


• Why did George Lucas opt to keep Jar Jar Binks, but kill off Darth Maul? What controlled substance was he consuming the day he made that decision?


• Who is A? I'd like to get to know him/her/it too


• Why are people rewarded financially for having children when the world is already overpopulated?


• Why do kids leak fluids on an almost constant basis until they reach around 7 or so?


• Has anyone else noticed that our cell phones are looking more and more like Star Trek communicators?


• (and last, but not least) Why does everybody love Raymond?

Mack Daddies, Cars in Trees, and other Strange Topics

I just got off the phone with BA.
( Bald One on the Dog and Bone )

Darth Andrews

Ahh, another thing that came up on our conversation was how Darth Crone and I met. (It seems that Barry will be staying with Crone when he plays Brighton later on this month.) So I told him that we met on The Darth Maul Estrogen Brigade (there's a Part Two to this group now) where I was lauding the Sithly glories of Shriekback to everyone there, and he laughed heartily at that, then wanted to know what the DMEB was. So I told him that it was a place wherein women worldwide converged to pay homage to a lesser-known character in the Star Wars universe.

"Is that the guy in black with the funny head?" he asked. Oh...my....gawd.... So I said "yeah, he's the one with the horns and tattoos."

I also disclosed that Shriekback scored just about every story I ever wrote for the DMEB and that, somehow, Darth Maul and Shriekback just seemed to go well together. He agreed.

I'm now debating on whether or not to let him read any of the Maul tales I wrote..... That might give him the wrong idea as to my intentions though, so I probably won't.