Stores, Cafes, or Bistros I'd like to open.

1. The Golden Spork: a bistro featuring Mediterranean cuisine, focusing on late continental brunches and full gourmet meals with all amenities. The catch: your flatware will be sporks and knorks. For decoration of the building in which we shall become ragingly successful, a large black rock or wood spork will sit in the middle of lawn in front of the Golden Spork. This lawn decoration shall be known to all and sundry as THE MIGHTY SPORK and lo! It shall become a graven idol a million years from now after what's left of Humanity discovers its ineffable presence with "Also Sprach Zarasthustra" playing the theme music for the inevitable drama that would shortly ensue! Oh yes. I can see when I close my eyes!
   
2. The Granola Bar: a health food, all-natural ingredients-friendly grocery. Gourmet coffees and fruit smoothies are readily available, as are organic dishes with all manner of grains and sprouts.


3. Yoga Bun: The store that will beat Cinna-Bons' ass all over the world. Our specialty are pretzels with a variety of Eastern-style dipping sauces to enhance the bun in its state of Yoga knotness. Shortly after partaking of the heavenly essence of our dharmic knots of salty goodness, we guarantee that your chakras will be aligned and you'll feel better than you ever have before. Yogabuns: our pretzels! Condiments available upon request.

::grits teeth::

No doctor today. Some transportation problems arose, so here I am with my achy breaky knee, hoping to go see Dr. Yost tomorrow.

The cramps and the foul-ass mood are strong indications to me that I am undergoing the first throes of PMS for 2006. I'd just soon kill anyone as look at them right now. So what do I do to make my mood even worse? I watch "Proof Positive" on Sci Fi. This show and others like it never quite linger long enough on footage or photos that are supposed to prove evidence of an Other World. That drives me up the wall. Just stay put for more than 3 fucking seconds and let me study the picture! GAH! If you're evidence isn't good enough to show for any length of time, then don't fucking show it and don't say you have any fucking proof. I will cut you.

In other news, I've been thinking about things I hate. Really really hate. I hate passive-aggression...with a fucking passion. Don't use it on me. I can spot it a mile away, because I can be very passive-aggressive myself. Like knows like. If you can't behave in any other manner than passive-aggression, don't be around me. I hate condescending behaviour and language. If you don't have anything of worth to say to me, don't say anything at all! I don't need rah-rahs and I don't need your support. I am not Bartels and Jaymes. I will not thank you for your fucking support. Pity parties. Hate them. I try not to start any in my journal or in real life and I will not participate in anyone else's. Manipulation. This ties in with that passive-aggression thing. I've come to grips that I'm very good at manipulating people and situations, but I make a concentrated effort not to do so. That doesn't mean I will allow myself to be manipulated. Don't go there. I will cut you. If you have issues, fine. We all have issues. Deal with it. If my dealing with my own issues bothers you, don't read. If you have nothing of worth to contribute, then don't. Leave me alone or I will cut you.

Other things I hate: THE PHONE. Yeah, that's a given. What makes me hate the phone even more is when someone calls without having a reason to do so. If you have nothing of worth to say, don't call me. I will cut you. And don't drag a nonexistent conversation out for no reason whatsoever. It's a waste of your time and mine. A five minute conversation should never exceed a fucking hour. That's ridiculous and I won't play that game. EMAIL: I've cut my email down considerably since I came on to LJ because communication on LJ is much easier. I don't like getting e-mails usually. Getting them obligates me to respond and I don't have the time. LJ is easier. Use it.

I know I'm coming across as an irritable bitch, but there's a reason for that: I AM AN IRRITABLE BITCH! I've never misled anyone into believing that I was a nice person. I'm me, warts and all. Don't try to envision me as anything else and do not try to change me or force me into something I don't want to be a part of. If you're unhappy with the kind of relationship we have, envision me directing you to the fucking door. There it is. Leave or I will cut you. I can no longer tolerate stupidity, silliness, simpering, or any other "s" word that is in direct opposition to the Sith mindset.

An Open Letter to Capital One

Dear Shitheads on a Stick,

Since you lost my car title in the mail and now refuse to send me anything else except a lien release, to whom shall I send the bill for the car title I will have to most likely purchase from the DMV? I hate every last one of you assholes and your fucking automated phone system. I hope all of you wake up collectively in war-torn Baghdad with live grenades lodged in your sphincters.

Yours in Utter Dissatisfaction,
Tinhuviel

PS You should really stop asking "whut's in YER wallet?" 'cos one of these days someone's gonna pull out a great big gun and blow your fucking heads off.

..... ::seethe:: .....

If I had access to a knife right now, I'd saw off my left leg right above the knee just to get rid of the knee. I have a new doc appointment, this time with Lisa, tomorrow at 1:15. Word.

The PMS Psychosis is much worse than it was earlier. My patience has run out with humanity as a whole and I am now prepared to lay waste to small villages. Instead, I'll lay waste to LJ. It's time to make some long overdue changes. Sith shouldn't care about hurt feelings and, when it comes to being fucking miserable in what is supposed to be my own space, neither should I!

This is where I should screech "DEATH TO ALL INFIDELS!" and start swinging the sword of justice.

I love inspiring fear......

For my pal lowland_rider:

Throughout most history and almost all cultures there has been tales, stories, and legends of giant birds. I have heard many of the stories myself, although in real life the largest living flying bird I ever saw personally was a California Condor with a wingspan of around nine feet. I have seen, and many times over because I have found myself going back and looking at it again and again ever since my Uncle took me there as a young boy, the skeleton of the Teratorn found in and now on display at the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles, California. When alive that particular bird had a wingspan somewhere between fourteen to sixteen feet.

Enjoy!

Of Interest

On the History Channel there is currently a documentary about the banned books of the Bible, like the Book of Enoch and the Protevangelion. It's extremely fascinating, especially since it falls into the continuing emphasis that early Christianity was much more matristic than it has been ever since.

Right now they're talking about the Gnostics, which hold a special place in my heart. One of the main tenets, if not the main tenet, of Gnosis can be found in the Gospel of Mary: that the way beyond the evils of this physical realm, the path to true light (or enlightenment) is via the Mind, which is between the soul and the spirit.

It seems that all of the challenging works in regard to the Christ were dubbed apocryphal, thus continuing the endless drudgery of the spiritually blind. The Church Fathers should be ashamed for denying people who trusted them with their very souls the opportunity for mental and spiritual expansion just because the message came from a woman. It kind of makes me pity the Dominionists a little more that I should, given their propensity for hatred, exclusion, and stupidity.

The difference between ignorance, stupidity, and evil.

Ignorance is not knowing. Stupidity is not wanting to know. Evil is not affording anyone else the opportunity to know.

With that, I'm heading for bed.