Llewellyn ~ Flown to the West
Dec. 27th, 2009 12:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinhuvielI got confirmation today of something I've known in my bones for a very long time. Llew is dead. He wrote me on the 23rd of December 2008, telling me that he was planning on killing himself. This had been the umpteenth letter like this I'd gotten from him and I'd actually contacted authorities in the town he was in in Pennsylvania, asking them to try to find him. I did everything I could short of letting him come back to my home, which was no longer an option for him. When he left to go to Pennsylvania in the Summer of 2008, I told him then that it was a permanent departure, there was no turning back. He chose to leave anyway.
And so this chapter is closed for good. I hope he has finally found the peace in death he never could find in life.
Dear TracyI hope you didn't delete this as soon as you saw it. I wouldnt blame you if you did. I am out of options and money. I make no threat here, only state facts. Sorry I left you like everyone else. I am not the man you thought I was. I didn't know my limitations either. Sorry. You deserve so much better. It has turned into a disaster for me and I must pay the price. I have lost every friend I ever had including my daughter so I hope you go on as I had never existed. It's a new world ful of people and there is no room left for old fucks like me. Relaity sucks anyway and I am so damned tired of it all.The state has given me $50 to "Return to SC." As If.......there is no point so I won't even think of it. Thank you for caring too much . It is soooo your way. Bless ya, lassie. You will be the one I see when I close my eyes. There is no room in my heart for any other.Bye,Lew
And so this chapter is closed for good. I hope he has finally found the peace in death he never could find in life.
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Date: 2009-12-27 06:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 06:26 pm (UTC)(((hugs))) if you want 'em.
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Date: 2009-12-27 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 06:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 06:45 pm (UTC)Alas!
Date: 2009-12-27 07:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 07:17 pm (UTC)thinking of you, hoping you are ok.
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Date: 2009-12-27 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 07:41 pm (UTC):(
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Date: 2009-12-27 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 08:24 pm (UTC)You have my email, don't hesitate to use it if you need an ear or shoulder.
*hug*
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Date: 2009-12-27 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-31 04:09 am (UTC)I am so sorry you have to go through this. I hope I'm so late with posting (sorry, everything happens while I'm travelling) that by now it is barely a part of your consciousness. Keep well, try to leave 2009 behind you (so say we all!) and face 2010 with hope.
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Date: 2009-12-27 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 09:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 10:41 pm (UTC)Tin...
Date: 2009-12-27 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 11:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 11:37 pm (UTC)I'm sorry this happened.
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Date: 2009-12-28 12:12 am (UTC)It is one thing to suspect, and yet another to have a grim suspicion confirmed. The timing on this news adds an extra twist of vinegar. I'm so sorry dear. I know things were finished between the two of you romantically, but still... History has its weight. If there is anything I can do please let me know.
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Date: 2009-12-28 12:58 am (UTC)I'm going back to my vodka, but you know where I am Sis.
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Date: 2009-12-28 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 04:13 am (UTC)My thoughts are with you.
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Date: 2009-12-28 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 04:28 am (UTC)You will hurt more than you will ever know - I'm here if you wish.
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Date: 2009-12-28 04:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 04:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 06:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 11:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 07:30 pm (UTC)Peace to him, and to you.
Here if you need me...
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Date: 2009-12-28 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-29 11:04 am (UTC)*huge hugs*
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Date: 2009-12-29 02:43 pm (UTC)Sending you every possible good thought and lots of love.
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Date: 2009-12-29 04:02 pm (UTC)Hugs. And my thoughts are with you.
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Date: 2009-12-29 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-30 04:30 pm (UTC)(Admittedly, when I saw the city, my first mis-read of it was "Cosplay???")
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Date: 2009-12-31 05:20 am (UTC)May Llew find his wings and find the comfort of The Mother until such time as he must rejoin the world and learn again. May The Father give Llew the guidance to succeed in his next incarnation.
So mote it be.
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Date: 2009-12-31 07:35 pm (UTC)I'm sad, but I'm also happy that you're moving on. I'm glad he's free and I hope for him to find what he needed. You were more than just a friend to him and you did all you could.
Please let me know if there's anything I can do.
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Date: 2010-01-01 02:39 am (UTC)