Oooookaaaaay, so I finally managed to drift off to sleep for about an hour, and I promptly revisIted this dream, but there was a difference in what he said. He placed his mouth at the corner of mine, and whispered, "Do you remember when I told you not to be afraid?"
"Yes," I replied, almost silently.
"Well, I lied."
The other day, I came across this article - and soon found myself in awe of the information the piece provided. It’s an image-heavy article, which means this post will also be image-heavy. I’m not copy-pasting the text, so I strongly suggest clicking this telling image to be taken to the full write-up, especially if you’ve had a breakdown, know someone who has had a breakdown, or you ever fell victim to one of my unexpected, late-night, inexplicable and incoherent ramblings via email, blog commentary, or any other method by which you and I maintain contact.
With each image that applies or have applied to my experience, I will share how it felt for me, if I suffered from the description in the picture. The first one here will show what will be behind the cut, should you decide to read further.
For me, this was not a sudden mindset, but a gradual one. In crises, I was always the one that held things together. I could switch off parts of my brain, and do what I needed to do at that moment in time. At the age of 12, I was the one who gave directions to the paramedics, when my great-grandmother had her massive stroke. Granny was a non-functioning, human-shaped manifestation of panic, and Aunt Tudi was frantically trying to get things ready for when the ambulance arrived to the point where, honestly, she was being a detriment to any progress we might could have had. It was only two days later that the upheaval found me, at which time I became non-functional for a period of time, just a few days. In times of turmoil, I realised I could take care of whatever situation I found myself, then release it all later in private. The only times I ever lost that ability was the night before Granny died in 1993. The doctors told us there was no hope, and she could die at any moment. Since Granny also helped to raise me, having lived with me all my life, I fell to pieces. But the next morning, when she died, I was cool as a cucumber. This was Aunt Tudi's mother, to whom she had been excessively close. This blow to her emotional well-being is something she never quite got over. I was the one who had to make Granny's arrangements, and I did so in a disconnected manner, devoid of bothersome emotions. Things needed to be done, and there was no one but me stepping up. I remember a cousin remarking that I had to be some sort of Vulcan, or just callous as hell.
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booraven22 and some to the Mother Unit. I'm curious to know how effective this advertising campaign will be. Hopefully, it will be wildly successful and Cadmus Pariah will become a terrifying household name around the globe and on the moon.
falkenna was going to take me to the shops in Brighton to find an outfit for the occasion. It was then she told me that I had to get something white. Okay, I don't do white. No, it's just not a shade of which I am fond. Sure I'll wear the odd white tee shirt, but only because I like what's on it. Like right now, I'm wearing a white tee, but it's adorned with a gigantic Shriekback symbol, so that's acceptable. Anyway, I told falkenna that I wanted something black, that white just wouldn't do.falkenna argued. And we began to bicker to the point I put my fingers in my ears and repeated over and over, "I'm not hearing you! I'm not hearing you!"
green_goblin70, but he'll probably just laugh if he reads this because he's a mean asshole, bless him.tinhuviel: Joo sucktoddzilla2001: You eat poo.tinhuviel: Not n e more. I left BMG!toddzilla2001: Ha! Good one! Now you're a spy for Homeland Security.
green_goblin70 will no doubt find this mind-bogglingly hilarious. I will need to smack him next time I see him.
