tinhuviel: (Torquemada)

I haven’t done one of these in about 10,000 years, so let’s get this show on the road.



This is all true. photo 1264091_10153348891685721_288267917_o.jpg1. Full name: Tracy Angelina Evans
2. Nicknames: Tin, Tinhuviel, George, Darth Shriek
3. Birthplace: Asheville, North Carolina USA
4. Birthday: 10 September, 1967
5. Where Do You Live Now?: San Diego, California
6. Parent(s): Father Unit has passed.  Mother Unit is here in San Diego.
7. Sibling(s): ZERO
8. Looks: Better off invisible.
9. Favourite Animal(s): Anything non-human, except for millipedes and centipedes.  Like humans, they can go fuck themselves.
10. Favorite TV Show(s): Impractical Jokers, Better Call Saul



11. Favorite Kind(s) Of Music: Most everything but Country and Opera.
12. Favorite Movie(s): Sci-Fi, Unusual, Conceptual, Foreign
13. School: Some college, focusing on English and Veterinary Assistance
14. Future School: I’m too old for this question. The Chapel Perilous

15. Future Job: Testing new, effective sleep aids.
16. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: nah
17. Best Buds: I’m a bit of a hermit these days.
18. Favorite Candy: Milk Dud
19. Hobbies: Music, reading, writing
20. Things You Collect: Grudges, CDs, movies, moments in time.



21. Do You Have A Personal Phone Line: Yes
22. Favorite Body Part Of The Opposite Sex? The eyes and brain
23. Any Tattoos And Where Of What?: Red & Black Triskele on right hand, Green Shriekback logo on left hand, Mwanza Flat-headed Agama with green and blue hues instead of pinkish and blue.
24. Piercing(s) And Where?: not anymore
25. What Do You Sleep in?: clothing
26. Do you like Chain Letters: aw HELL NAW.
27. Best Advice: Reality is peripheral.
28. Favorite Quotes: Hope for the best, expect the worst. - Mel Brooks.
29. Non-sport Activity You Enjoy: sleep
30. Dream Car: A transporter



31. Favorite Thing To Do In Spring: Avoid the sun.
32. What’s Your Bedtime: Whenever I’m lucky.
33. Where Do You Shop: Wherever I can.
34. Coke or Pepsi: Cheerwine

35. Favorite Thing(s) To Wear?: Something loose that will allow me to blend into my surroundings.
36. Favorite Subject(s) In School: English and Creative Writing

37. Favorite Color(s): Green, Red, Black
38. Favorite People To Talk To Online: People with brains and a wicked sense of humour that has set them on the road to Hell.

39. Root-Beer or Dr. Pepper? Root beer

40. Do You Shave? I’m too old for that bullshit.




41. Favorite Vacation Spot(s): I don’t do vacations.  My favourite place to BE is England.
42. Favorite Family Member(s): Smidgen
43. Did You Eat Paint Chips When You Were a Kid? WHAT?
44. Favorite CD you own: Currently Without Real String or Fish by Shriekback
45. The ONE Person Who You Hate The Most: Going with an old standard here and saying Pat Robertson.
46. Favorite Food(s)?: Potatoes
47. Who Is The Hottest Guy or Girl In The World?: I have a very short list.
48. What Is Your Favorite Salad Dressing?: Bleu Cheese.
49. When You Die, Do You Wanna Be Buried or Burned Into Ashes? I don’t care, as long as I end up on Craggy Dome.
50. Do You Believe In Aliens?: Absolutely.








51. If You Had The Chance To Professionally Do Something, What would You Do? I’m already a Professional Misanthropist.
52. Things You Obsess Over: Various artists, ideas, philosophies, theories, general weirdness
53. Favorite Day of the Week: Don’t bloody care.
54. An Authority Figure You Hate: The Feudal Mistress still tops the list.
55. Favorite Disney Movie: Bambi
56. What Is Your Favorite Season? Winter
57. What Toppings Do You Like On Your pizza? Cheese, with extra cheese, and cheese on the side.
58. Do You Like Your School Food Itself (As In The District Food): I never ate it.
59. If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would You Live? Avebury, Wiltshire, UK
60. Favorite Thing(s) To Do On Weekends: Sleep, if I can accomplish it.







61. Favorite Magazine(s): Don’t have one.
62. Favorite Flower(s): White rose

63. Favorite Number(s): 5

64. Favorite Ice Cream flavor(s): Ben & Jerry’s Wavy Gravy

65. What Kind of Guys/Girls Are You Attracted to?: Dangerously intelligent, beautiful, talented, and hilarious.

66. What’s Your Most Embarrassing Moment? I inadvertently introduced myself to someone as his wife.

67. If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself What Would It be? I would be fearless.

68. Do You Eat Breakfast First Then Brush Your Teeth or Brush first ten eat breakfast: breakfast first.

69. Favorite Time of Day: Whenever I get to sleep.

70. Can A Guy and Girl Be Just “Best Friends?”: Why not?



71. Do You Ask The Girl/Guy Out Or Do You Wait For Them To Come To You?: I don’t go there anymore.

72. Do You Mind Paying For Sex? I never would.

73. What’s The Most Important thing In Someone’s Personality: Sentience

74. Do you have a pager or cell phone? Cell

75. Favorite Sport: Flambodious Butt-walking

76. What Was the Best Gift You Ever Received? Love

77. How Long Did This Letter Take You To Finish?: Not very long.

78. What Did You Listen To While Completing It?: Electric Light Orchestra’s Alone in the Universe.

79. Are you or would you like to be married in the near future (next 5 years)? NEGATIVE

80. Don’t u just hate how psychics never win the lottery? I hate it more than I don’t win the lottery. I hate psychics, especially the ones who claim to talk to your dead relatives.  They’re grifters who should be drawn and quartered.  The End.

tinhuviel: (Inconceivable)
Yes yes, it is another random post filled with randomosity and other random goodness. This is where I take a sort of mind dump to cleanse the soul and ruin the lives of innocent people who chance upon this entry. Then again, as the great philosopher Hexina once said, "No one is truly innocent," when asked why she socked that "innocent" mime in the face. I can live with that proclamation. That said, if you continue to read, you're getting what's coming to you.


I don't care what anybody says, Hexed was a good movie. No, it was a great movie. It's basically "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" retold with the Arye Gross (I love him) as the boy and Claudia Christian (yes, Commander Ivanova!) as the wolf. There are so many comic scenes the drip pure genius, my chakras just vibrate on a higher level thinking about them. With lines like this, how can a movie go wrong? "She even attacked a mime. Just found out about it. Seems the mime had been reluctant to talk." In fact, I may abandon my serial killer extravaganza and pop in Hexed, which is really just an extension of the whole Sunday Serial Killer motif. Hexina is one of my heroes.


When I was a kid, my favourite superhero was Spiderman. [livejournal.com profile] green_goblin7t and I share this common bond. Even though my greatest childhood love was Darth Vader and all my other heroes were villains, Spidey was the exception to my unspoken rule of "no nice guys!" I didn't just idolise Spiderman, I wanted to be Spiderman. I would have given my left kidney to be able to shoot web out of my wrists and swing through town. My main thing was the animated series from the 70s. I've never in my life read a Spiderman comic. The only comics I was ever into were Archie comics. Nothing thrilled me more than to get a grape Slurpee and an Archie comic from the local 7-11. I was a simple girl, grateful for the little things. But the bigger the Slurpee, the better. Anyway, I still have a piece of my Spidey-drenched childhood: it's a Spiderman head water gun. When you pull the trigger, Spidey literally spits on you. It still works, too.


Aunt Tudi and I have a pool. I got it on clearance at the dollar store last year. It was normally like $70 or sommat. I got it for just under $20. It inflates as you fill it up and it's 3 feet deep, I think. Or 4 feet. Can't remember. Once I rid the back yard of fire ants, we're gonna set it up back there, so we can float about in privacy. It's big enough to need a filter and pump, so it'll be large enough for Aunt Tudi and me to enjoy some cool, watery goodness on the 3000 katrillion hot days of Summer enjoyed by us inmates here in South Carolina. I may have to chop down some bamboo and fashion myself a makeshift snorkel. I remember snorkeling in Mills River up near Asheville. The river was very deep in areas and quite peaceful. There's nothing quite like the sound of water flowing past your ears mingling with the sound of your own breath as you float like a dead body down the river, nothing showing but the snorkel. I get concerned now that a bird will land on my snorkel and poop in my mouth.


I just realised that I have a previously unremembered source of income. Lula'a'kei'a'Lani, the Hawaiian Goddess of Loose Change! It's the old coconut figurine bank I kept in the Pit. The scheme was to get people to put their loose change in the bank and make a wish. It wouldn't surprise me if I had $10 in that coconut bank! That's a half tank of gas. I could go somewhere and do something, if I so chose. But I don't so choose. I like being a hermit. If I never left the house again, that'd be fine with me. Screw the world, I have an iPod.


Oh, speaking of iPods, newbies here on the Cliffs may have noticed my referencing Son of iGor. That's my iPod and my second one at that. My first iPod, simply iGor, crapped out on me, but I had an extended warranty on it, so Apple sent me a brand new iPod. This is Son of iGor. If Son of iGor ever trashes out on me, I'll have to jump off a bridge because I can't replace him. If I could, though, my next iPod would be called Bride of iGor maybe, or Random Acquaintance of iGor. Or maybe even Distant Cousin of iGor, or iGor's Unfriendly Neighbour. Hell if I know.


What's wrong with Tim Burton? His movies used to be so wonderful but, here of late, it's been a hit-and-miss situation for him. His Planet of the Apes was an affront to all ape-lovers everywhere. It was just....wrong. And, even though I adore the imagery of the film, Sweeney Todd pretty much left me cold. I'm not big on musicals, though. No matter how lovely Johnny Depp was in that movie, I'm not keen on ever seeing the flick again. Speak your lines, Johnny, don't sing them. Tim Burton is the Goth culture's champion. He needs to stick with what he knows and not try to go beyond that. Just be yourself, Tim. Toxic Boy is who you are, not big-time hoity-toity director man. The next time you take a seat in your director's chair, remember Beetlejuice and Batman, and all else will naturally fall into place. Just sayin'. Oh, and don't go with any film composer but Danny Elfman. You make a magickal team. Don't try to fix something that ain't broke. Again, just sayin'.


I'm half-writing a new Joker-fic. No, I haven't revived the Date Series. This one isn't gonna be an erotic fanfic either. It's...I don't know what it's gonna be. All I know is that it's drawn from a discussion [livejournal.com profile] paisleydaze and I have been having over the past couple of days. The occult and psychology play heavily in this one. I know it's gonna be short and, so far, it's totally unlike anything J-related I've written. One thing for certain: it has nothing to do with The Joker Blogs. So far, this one isn't fun, and something tells me that Cadmus' influence has a lot to do with this more archetypal Joker. I'm being pulled back to the Vampire world, despite my best efforts to avoid it for a while and have a few laughs. Oh, and to answer a question posed of me by [livejournal.com profile] delenn99: I'll submit my original work to publishers just as soon as I have an agent who is willing to take me on. Still looking for that. Any pointers on how I can lure a hapless agent into my Kung Fu grip? I'm all ears.


I want to go up to Cherokee and sit on a rock in the middle of the river up near the hospital. Maybe listen to some tunes on Son of iGor and contemplate Life, the Universe, and Everything.


The Cliffs of Insanity has a birthday coming up soon. The Blog will turn 7 years old. That's usually about the time a child starts becoming increasingly obnoxious. Since my journal started out that way, we can bypass that whole awkward phase and move on to greater pestiferousness and tomfoolery. Speaking of birthdays, Aunt Tudi turned 65 today. She has celebrated by sleeping. She does that a lot now. I'm by myself a good bit because she's asleep. I'm not complaining. I know it's because of her illnesses, but it bothers me a little because that's how Granny was a couple of years before she died. She had to wake up from a nap to go take a nap. I'm jealous of Aunt Tudi in that she can so easily sleep any hour of the day and I'm awake even when I am asleep, unless I drug myself into a stupour. Insomnia is the biggest bitch in existence, outshining even myself and [livejournal.com profile] stacye13, and that's no small feat. Aunt Tudi is like a cat now. I sit around this house looking at her and the cats doze all day long and I want to kill them in their sleep, and I chalk all that up to my coveting their slumber. I covet. I'm a commandment breaker. Look at me. I'm out of control. I'm a coveting senior citizen murderer with red-rimmed eyes that quiver from lack of sleep. Yeah, fear me, bitches. Who knows what I'll do next? Rest assured, it won't be sleeping.


I need make-up. I'm almost out of lipstick, I am out of powder, and my mascara is so old that it's dried up. I've still got plenty of faux kohl, so I'm good there. I'm just out of everything else. Don't know why I'd even need the make-up since I now spend the majority of my days at home, but you never know when I may want to do another webcam thingie. I still haven't figured out why my sound is off after I upload a video. It's fine until it hits You Tube. The mystery is maddening. I need to get a different kind of lipstick than the one I've been wearing. What I've been wearing almost instantly chaps my lips. Chapped lips drive me crazy because I can't leave them along. I'm constantly picking at my lower lip and peeling away the top layer of skin. It gets to the point of my bleeding. I used to have horrible lips as a young teen and I still have a diary where I'd leave bloody lip prints from the chapped horror through which I was going, usually from the big split right in the middle of my lower lip. It's no wonder teens are so difficult to get along with. Their lives are usually hell for one reason or another, so they may as well visit their suffering upon their friends and loved ones, right? Right. As for my make-up application, I learned how to apply make-up from observing Boy George and Robert Smith. Oh, and from art class. Undershadowing makes things look larger. That said, I apply very little faux kohl to my upper eyelids. Most of my eye colour and mascara are applied to the lower eyelids and lashes. It makes my eyes look much larger, and that's the intention. Case in point, this icon: . This is from a picture taken in 1997. You can't go wrong with lots of colour under the eyes. Theda Bara knew this. She was a smart lady.


Things I miss:

  • Attending Circle. Sometimes even the most anti-social of us craves the group dynamics of a cast Circle. Not saying I'd want to do it on a regular basis, but it'd be nice to be with fellow Witches in sacred space for a little while.

  • Bardic circles. These were almost as magickal as Sabbat and Esbat celebrations. But music is a magickal thing in and of itself. Tolkien himself contented in The Silmarillion that existence began with a song.

  • Singing. Anywhere. Circle, Bardic, the UU Church. I miss singing.

  • The Celtic music community of Greenville. I'll never be a part of it again, but that doesn't stop me from missing it. It's been 11 years now since I walked away.

  • Quality Assurance and the people with whom I worked in that department: Doc, [livejournal.com profile] green_goblin7t, Richard, and Timothy. Sometimes even Raleigh and Terri.

  • The Darth Maul Estrogen Brigade. It was 100% a positive experience and I made lifelong friendships because of that corner of smut on Teh Intarwebs, the most important being [livejournal.com profile] falkenna and Meche. It was a sad day when Darth Cleo shut the site down, archiving the majority for posterity's sake. I envisioned her turning out the lights in much the same way John Sheridan did at the end of B5. I often wonder about how Maulsmate, MaryCheetah, the Smut Brigade, MOTS, and Indigobunting are doing.

  • My Friend Todd, every day, without fail.




My "nephew" Blake added me as a friend on MySpace. It's hard to believe that he's 17 now and has a beard and mustache. I remember when he was born. He makes me feel very old. I put the word "nephew" in quotations because he's not really my nephew, although I feel like he is. His mother and I were always like sisters, even though we're cousins, so Blake is my nephew in every way but the official way. So yeah. 17. I remember teaching him Talitha MacKenzie songs when he was 6, him rocking back and forth in the car to the beat of "Saor an t-sàbhaidh," singing the Gaelic like he'd done it all his life. But children are more open to language than adults, so I guess I can understand. Just recently, I asked him if he remembered any of that and he said he didn't. I bet if I played "Saor an t-sábhaidh" for him, it'd trigger the memory. He's always been a cool kid, and I don't like kids as a rule, so that's saying a lot. He's gonna be a groovy adult too. I have no doubt.


Mtzlplk or Mr. Mytzlplk was a villain featured on Superfriends back in the 70s. A lot of you fools weren't even born when he wrought his vowel-removing havoc on poor Superman. I think Casey Kasem voiced him. Could be wrong about that, though.
tinhuviel: (Bellatrix)
I think I've pulled a muscle in my left shoulder. I hope that's all it is. If it's arthritis, I'm just gonna lie down and put a lily on my chest.

Time flies when you're having fun. Fruit flies eat your bananas.

Chester has had diarrhea for the past 48 hours. I'm giving it one more day, then off to Dr. Patch he goes. They'll just have to hold a check.

I don't work this week. Röchling is closed the entire week for Independence Day. Aunt Tudi and I are teaming up with Uncle Michael and Janice for a huge flea market expedition in hopes of recouping some of our losses on the job front. Janice is off this week as well. How can anyone maintain any measure of independence when we miss a whole week's paycheck, eh?

Aunt Tudi and I have a date for Friday. We're popping some corn and popping Independence Day into Ye Olde DVD Player.

Onions are of the Devil.

[livejournal.com profile] beechelfromhell sent to me a lovely box full of lovely things. Pictures and official thanks are forthcoming, probably tomorrow.

Also tomorrow, I'll be grooming Fat Boy Boo Boo. Something tells me that my shoulder is gonna love that little job.

Speaking of dogs, I saw a man who looked uncomfortably like Leonard Nimoy strolling through the flea market holding one of the ugliest chihuahuas known to planet Earth. It was like a shaved tribble with Spock ears. The chihuahua, not the Leonard Nimoy lookalike.

My contorted filbert has its yearly infestation of June bugs. When I was a kid, it used to piss me off to witness other kids tie a string around a June bug's leg and make it fly around in circles. I wanted to tie a string around those kids legs and make them run about in a circle until their legs came off. And I would collect those legs until they were bones, then make myself a small kid leg bone chair to rival HR Giger's ghastly throne.

The end.
tinhuviel: (Basil Fawlty)
Mike & Ikes should be renamed Fruit Bullets. They look like bullets and they provide a shot of fruity flavour lie whoa! Yeah. Fruit Bullets.

We got Aunt Tudi's A/C today. 10,000 btus of super-charged glacial power right outta Wally World! But we can't install it right yet. The window frame has been compromised by the A/C that's currently in there. Its mechanical issues caused a great deal of moisture, especially on the sill itself. So we're going to have to wait on Little Michael to come out and assess the damage. Hopefully he'll be able to repair it and install the new A/C pronto-like. In the meantime, we're still waiting the 90-degree temps that will arrive in a couple of days, according to the Weather Channel. Nothing is simple in these here parts.

Aunt Tudi just found a spider on the couch. She killed it. One of these days, something much larger than Aunt Tudi is going to squoosh her for scampering across the wrong bit of turf at the wrong time. Karma ~ she's a byotch. And not only that, her cadaver will be flicked to one side by her killer's gigantic middle finger. It'll be gruesome. She'll earn the same respect she bestowed upon that poor arachnid. ::moment of silence::

I'm so sleepy. Maybe I should ramble incoherently the old-fashioned way, by using my loud mouth and bad attitude. But, no. I have to write it all out here and make good people suffer just because I'm weary beyond comprehension. Watching Law & Order: Any of the Spin-offs and writing out my exhaustion and frustration seems to be my ideal medium of expression.

That's it. I can't deal anymore. I.must.go.to.bed. NOW.
tinhuviel: (Steamed)
The subject of this post has nothing to do with these fine mammal specimens; rather, they are vaguely representative of what I lovingly refer to as a random post about nothing and everything in general. I made a vow a couple of years ago to at least have an interesting subject line for posts that provided no definite subject on their on. Since then, I've striven to adhere to my own rules, especially since I can't seem to adhere to anyone else's.


I think we have well over thirty cats. There's another kindle of kittens starting to show themselves, albeit cautiously. One is mostly grey with no tail at all, another is deep tabby with a half tail. I'm sure there are more. Officially, this takes us up to thirty, but I won't know for certain until I can positively identify the new kittens and name them.

More random hooha for the discerning Hell-Jay Reader )


I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts for now.
tinhuviel: (Spork)

  • Although ice cold Fanta Strawberry pop is utterly heavenly, warm Fanta Strawberry pop tastes like Chanel #5.

  • The more I watch The Fifth Element, the more I want to see it. This makes The Fifth Element the motion picture equivalent of crack.

  • Sciatica and strep throat are the two worst things on Earth. I'd much rather contract Avian Influenza, thanks.

  • Becoming a nerve ending in my next life is looking more attractive with each passing moment.

  • The Invisibles graphic novels are most assuredly casting a spell on me. On a related note, the more I read King Mob, the less like Barry Andrews he is.

  • Lie bumps are supremely uncomfortable, especially when you cannot remember the lie that may have provoked the bump in the first place. That said, politicians should be stricken speechless due to the number of lie bumps on their tongues. It's a phenomenon that curiously does not occur.

  • I'm not at all certain that my anti-depressant is working like it should.

  • If I don't come back as a nerve ending, I think it'd be really cool to reincarnate as a tortured artiste.... Wait a minute... Damn!

  • Riley says more by cutting his eyes just a little than a pundit can, babbling for twelve hours straight.

  • I've designed a new faux fur fashion: the Orangustole! Pictures are forthcoming.

  • Summer sucks harder than a Dyson animal vacuum. That's hard.

  • That old Chevy commercial with the jingle "baseball, hotdogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet" has been on my mind all day. Now I am craving hot dogs.

  • If I don't come back as a nerve ending or a tortured artiste, maybe coming back as a cat wouldn't be such a bad idea. Cats are graceful, hang out and worry about nothing. At least the cats that live around here do that all day long. I think that'd be a great life.

  • I don't give a rat's ass about Superman, but I want to see the new movie for the sole purpose of drooling all over Kevin Spacey.

  • Being a virus would be cool.



I'm off to bed to watch The Fifth Element for the 4006th time. Good night.
tinhuviel: (Kowalski)
All of a sudden I'm so sleepy, I can't stand myself. Time is crawling. So I bought myself a Mountain Dew and am going to drink it with extreme prejudice. May the Mighties have mercy on the souls of those around me.

I've downloaded Semagic here 'cos it's easier to access than the 'Net is. Still not comfy with I-net access. It's only my second day.

So far this day has gone well. I've picked up speed and am now quite comfy with the phone.

I'm supposed to go see Llew tonight. Then it's early to bed for me.
tinhuviel: (Danny Elfman)

  • Watching LOST and then watching two of the Alien movies (specifically Aliens and Alien3) will more than likely induce some of the most bizarre nightmares you'll ever experience. You've been warned.

  • Dennis Farina in Law & Order sucks big donkey dick.

  • If you can handle the taste of Hippo arse as one of the primary side-effects, you'll love Lunesta as it will make you sleep like a baby....with sewer mouth.

  • For those of you interested in Elves, it would be in your best interest to read the Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series by Tad Williams. His Sithi are probably closest to my own Tarmi in nature, stature, and appearance. The series also beats the holy shit out of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series, which is too long and rambling and doesn't seem to enjoy the presence of a more-evolved, alien presence in the plot.

  • Cats can learn to come to their name when it's called. "kittykittykitty" need not be used....EVAR. Having your cat answer to "kittykittykitty" is giving any old mean, stupid human primate the ability to get close enough to your cat to snatch it and do very bad things to it. None of my cats know what "kittykittykitty" is and will answer only to their names and nicknames. Give your babies and fighting chance and call them by name. Drop the kittykittykitty crap.

  • Since Aunt Tudi is on insulin and is checking her blood glucose levels quite a bit more than she ever used to, the house has become a biohazard location. Prepare for this to happen to you someday, if you live with someone inclined to be diabetic or you're a diabetic yourself.

  • Joshua John Miller is the son of Jason Miller, who played Father Damien Karras in The Exorcist.

  • If you eat an uncommon amount of raw tomato at least a couple of times a day, within two days, you'll be going to the bathroom and getting rid of salsa. Butt salsa, but salsa all the same. This could be a science experiment for one your kids.

  • [livejournal.com profile] agent_q has been writing about his holiday in China. I cannot express how cool this is and how everyone needs to read about this. Go now, shoo!

  • If given half the chance, I would shag Malcolm MacDowell, Charles Dance, Christopher Eccleston, and Vincent D'Onofrio all at the same time, or they could take turns with me. Invitations to this sacred sex party will be sent out once the dates are set.

  • I'm smuggling stuff out of the country. My contraband is Cheerwine and Granola Bars. I'm prepared for my body cavity search. Just give me a cigarette afterwards and promise you'll call me in the morning.

  • Give me five packets of hot cocoa mix, a third a stick of butter, a cup of milk, a giant wad of peanut butter, and a bowl of cornflakes, and I will make you the ultimate chocolate treat. It will soothe any savage beast (AKA a woman about to or already suffering from her monthlies).

  • Making available a frozen fruit-flavoured treat in a plastic wrap will, more often than not, instantly revert any 30+ year-old person back to the 70s or early 80s. Fights may even break out over the last cherry pop, so be aware.

  • It is raining here tomorrow. This means I'll be sleeping as much as humanly possible. The end.

tinhuviel: (Llama!)

  • Law & Order: SVU is currently on the Sci-Fi Channel. While I don't really object to that because I'm an SVU ho, I still am not sure why the powers that be saw fit to air this show on The Science Fiction Channel. Sure, it's an NBC affiliate, but please. It doesn't belong here. Of course, that won't stop me from watching, especially since all the episodes are about serial killers. Maybe that's their logic: serial murder is often the subject of horror films, and Sci-Fi does show horror on a regular basis. Yeah, that makes sense.

  • Speaking of serial killers, I caught a shot on History Channel earlier today that featured a story on Andrei Chikatilo. It's now time for me to watch Citizen X again. This is one of the best movies ever made.

  • A couple of weeks ago, Aunt Tudi and I introduced [livejournal.com profile] clumsycake to the holy wonder that is the Nature Valley Sweet & Salty Almond bar. Today, I get this email from her:
    So there I was, wondering around the Bi-Lo, minding my own business, when what do I spy with my little eye?  Nature Valley Granola Bars.  I said to myself "All mighty, all knowing princess of the monkey people" (I call myself all mighty, all knowing princess of the monkey people) "should I purchase the almond variety as given to me by Tracy and Tudi. Or should I try the dipped in peanut butter coating bursting with peanuts.  Seeing as how I copied that last bit off the label I guess it is clear I picked peanuts.   6 bars - 2 for breakfast yesterday, 2 for lunch yesterday, 1 for snack after supper yesterday, 1 last one for breakfast today.  It's crack made from peanuts, it's meth with a sweet and salty hit, it's....it's.....dare I say?...,better than sex!  I least as far as I remember.  I'm off to sell my kidney on the black market.  Need funds for peanut bars.
    See, this is why we're such good friends. Because [livejournal.com profile] clumsycake is funny as hell and, if you make me laugh, I'm yours forever.

  • When I lie on my right side in bed, my heart does this weirdo skipping/thumping number. Am I going to die?

  • I just got a letter from [livejournal.com profile] falkenna cementing plans to meet Barry on 16 May. She wrote to only five people, including Barry. I wrote her back, telling her that I would need at least 30 more people present for protection purposes. Am I going to die?

  • I found some pictures of myself when I was 4 years old and I had the same hairdo then that I do now. This may be an indication that I'm hurtling headlong into my second childhood. And I've been wondering why the new 'do makes me feel like a littler girl.

  • Last night I suffered a Spoonerism and called Smidgen "Shmipp," a combination of her name and Shmoop's. I then got to laughing at myself and couldn't speak at all. My life is boring.

  • Sing it with me people, to "Lullaby of Broadway!" C'mon along and listen to, the lullaby of bird flu! It's coming! The plague is coming! Randall Flagg is getting his rocks off just waiting for the day! Whee!



That's it for me. I'm off to bed.
tinhuviel: (Doomsday Clock)

  • If you voted for Herr George W. Bush, you have absolutely no right to gripe about gas prices, especially if you also have an SUV. In fact, you deserve all the financial pain you're suffering right now, having brought it on yourself and visited it on the rest of us. Thanks a lot, asshole.

  • Plain bagels with honey nut cream cheese create a party in one's mouth and is strongly suggested.

  • The icon used for this post is The Doomsday Clock, which is currently set to 7 minutes before Midnight. If it changes, I'll change the icon....unless it reaches Midnight, at which time I will be dead along with the rest of you.

  • If memory serves, Zydeco comes from "les haricots," which is French for beans. The music began on the front porches of Cajun country while people sat out there snapping beans and singing songs.

  • That bit of information came up because I just saw a Bruce Springsteen video of a Zydeco song.

  • Shriekback performed an acoustic Zydeco/Rancher-flavoured version of "Nemesis" for a radio station back in the early '90s. It was called "Cayenne Sisemen," and features Barry Andrews on accordion and Kat Evans (no relation) on fiddle.

  • Kat Evans was the featured violin player in the movie Starship Troopers so, when you see Jake Busey playing violin, it's really Kat Evans.

  • The existence of the Miami Sound Machine was a sign of the coming Alpaca Lips.

  • What's 20 feet long and smells of urine? The Conga line at an old folks' home.

  • Tim Curry is not a handsome man, but there's something about him that makes me want to wrap around him like an alien face hugger.

  • I have drunk the blood of two people and shared my blood with one person, who asked of it of me in order to make the Cakes of Light.

  • Paula Abdul's with the reprehensible Scat Cat was also a sign of the coming Alpaca Lips.

  • I find myself growing weary of the terms and practices of polyamoury, hooking up, online love, and all that general hoo-ha. Maybe it's because I've been burned by online love in the past. Maybe it's because all the polyamoury I've ever seen is simply swinging being called another name by people who don't want to admit they're swinging. Maybe I'm just getting too old for this shit. Maybe I'm jaded beyond my ability to tolerate what I consider to be hoo-ha. This isn't directed any one on my FL, by the way. It's simply an observation about the Internet in general and personal observations of real life individuals. So don't anyone get their undershorts in a knot.

  • The man in Live's video "Freaks" is one of the prisoners on Fiorina Fury in the movie Alien 3.

  • In the video "Freaks," Ed Kowalczyk comes dangerously close to embodying the living spirit of Cadmus Pariah.

  • Yesterday, it almost reached 90 degrees. That means that, by July, our temps should be in the vicinity of 200 and our humidity will constantly be over 50%. Everyone here will die. Me first.

  • Cajun roast beef is the only deli roast beef one should ever buy and consume.

  • Eating contests (hot dog, pie, watermelon, whatever) should be outlawed as they exhibit our country's extreme sense of privilege and causes people to just hate us even more, especially if they're going hungry.

  • The people who still support Dubya after all the bullshit he's put us through since 2001 are either morons, evil, or evil morons.


The end.
tinhuviel: (Chester)

  • Even though it's reviled by Dune fans and science fiction buffs alike, I am really rather fond of David Lynch's vision of Dune.

  • It occurred to me that, if I'm seriously considering moving to and working in Moncks Corner, I could also move back to and work in Asheville. I could go back home! So I have applied for a vet assistant position at the North Asheville Animal Hospital.

  • I haven't spoken with Timothy in months. It's time to call him, especially since he called me last time.

  • [livejournal.com profile] brujah and [livejournal.com profile] wraithenjade create an overwhelming cuteness overload. It bothers me that [livejournal.com profile] brujah won't be able to go with me to England so I can watch the two of them engage in licentious activities.

  • The creepy eye-contact fungus was more than likely generated at the Bausch & Lomb plant only 10 miles away from me.

  • My double chin seems to have disappeared with the cutting of my hair. It's a miracle.

  • Ray Stevens and Weird Al Yankovic are proof that there is indeed a Higher Power.

  • I would wet my unmentionables with delight if Todd moved back home.

  • [livejournal.com profile] clauderainsrm is too nice for his own good and therefore needs to be whipped and then given an evil Jiminy Cricket to tell him when to stop being such a Jedi.

  • I recently bent down to be face-to-face with Foley, who was waiting for more roast beef from Aunt Tudi, and told her: "Cats don't eat cow! They're too big!" This made me ponder why cat food is not made of rabbit, mouse, and bugs. It would be more like real cat food instead of this beef/pork stuff. Chicken and fish is okay.

  • Other than seeing [livejournal.com profile] falkenna and [livejournal.com profile] _willowmyst again, as well as meeting Barry Andrews, the Jack the Ripper walk is the thing I'm looking forward to the most in England.

  • Speaking of Jack the Ripper, my mother went into labour with me whilst watching a Jack the Ripper movie. Phear me.

  • There's an AOL headline that states that "Preppie" is making a comeback. This makes me want to vomit and commit suicide.

  • Motley's claws are incredibly poisonous to me. I believe that she's part feline and part Alien alien.

  • I'm having a garden this year. I may even try my hand at potato-growing.

  • Dubya needs to have a hose shoved up his ass and his intestines pumped full of gasoline for allowing his oil company cronies to gouge us so mercilessly. Amen, yea and verily.


Yeah, I think that's it for now.
tinhuviel: (Large Marge)
A long while back, I decided to give ridiculous subject lines to my more random posts that didn't offer up a decent subject line on their own. I'm explaining this on account of the new influx of readers lately, just so they know I haven't gone off the deep end.

I got high on an orange. A medium-sized Sunkist seedless navel orange. It was soooo good and soooo juicy and I am soooo craving citrus that I flipped out. It was a religious experience. This has been the first orange I've had in about a year. I've just been juicing my way to fruit requirements (Simply Orange orange juice is a gift from gawd). Lately, though, I've been jonesin' for the real thing. Last week I indulged in tangerines. When we went to the store today, I got two oranges and three more tangerines. The orange was squirtalicious!

As I passed the bedroom on my way to the loo, I looked in at Smidgen and Shmoop on my bed and admonished them: "Get off my bed, you lazy no-good-fer-nuthin' cats!" Fulfilling their catly duties, they both ignored me and continued to sleep. And all was right with the world.

Earlier I talked with Todd. Seems there have been more layoffs at SonyBMG. Some people didn't get the luxury of being called into HR. They were notified via cell phone while they were on their way to work. How lousy is that? And one was informed that it had nothing to do with his contribution to the company, it was 'just 'cos'. What does that do for the remaining serfs, I ask? Where's the incentive to strive for betterment? Where's the encouragement to maintain morale? Todd is now getting a hefty dose of what I'd had a belly-full of since 2001.

Aunt Tudi and I are discussing going back to the Four Holes Swamp maybe sometime in late April or May. We won't do the canoe tour this time because 4 hours was a bit too long for Aunt Tudi to deal with sitting on a the bottom of a metal boat and bumping into swamp knots. Instead, we'll do the hike, which comprises of strolling down a walkway that has benches dotted along the way. It's around a 2 mile walk, if memory serves and it's a lovely experience. We did about half of the hike while waiting for the canoe tour to commence last year.

I'm also keen on getting a tent and a sleeping bag. We already have one sleeping bag, so we need just one more. I'd very much like to go camping come Springtime. Camping in the Smoky Mountains, maybe at Mills River. I'd like to get a site at a deep part of the river so I could go snorkeling. I love being submerged in icy cold river water. I'd probably love doing the same in ocean water. In fact, I know I would. I've always wanted to SCUBA dive. There's a SCUBA shop in Spartanburg and I think they offer lessons. Now that I'm no longer a blob and could probably fit in a wet suit, I should go and inquire within.

I missed the PaYnE jam today because I was under the impression that today was Friday all day long. I'm a moron and an idiot. Just texted [livejournal.com profile] sifu_rick with an apology. Man, I feel like a heel. This is what happens when you're unemployed and lose track of time.
tinhuviel: (Cylon)
I'm trying to bide my time until Battlestar Galactica comes on tonight. So here I am here to torment the masses.

Earlier today, I spent over two hours on the phone and talked to 17 different people at Capital One trying to find out where the hell my car title is. I was finally informed that it was mailed out on 12/28, so I should get it any day now. Having to deal with so many idiots in such a short period of time gave me serious flashbacks to The Pit and I was literally in tears there for a brief period of time. They weren't girly oh-my-feelings-are-being-mooshed tears. They were ohmigawd-I'm-gonna-rip-somebody's-skin-off tears. It wasn't a pleasant experience. In fact, it gave me a headache and the desire never to pick up another phone for the duration of my existence here on Earth.

Sven came to dinner last night. He allowed me to step out in the back yard with him and take some glamour shots. Here's the result.

ain't he cute? )

I just adore his little hands.

Now behold the candle that [livejournal.com profile] falkenna sent to me. In case you can't make it out, it says "Nemesis Now." How cool is that?

candle )

I took some pics of Aunt Tudi and myself at the doctor's office on Wednesday. It's obvious we don't feel well.

unwell )

After having experienced a hot flash, I am now down to a tee shirt and my hot pink boob pants. I just put the flannel shirt back on because I've been outside trying to get Shmoop to come home. It's after 7 and she's not home yet. This is highly irregular. HIGHLY. And I'm worried.

A good name for a band would be Knuckletoe. I thought about that when my the knuckle on my left big toe popped like a firecracker. Ow, fucking ow.
tinhuviel: (Locke)
I got a call from Llew earlier wherein he cursed me mightily and thanked me profoundly for getting him into LOST. He has two more discs of Season 1 to go, so I expect he'll be calling me again to babble incoherently after he's watched those. Before I lent him the DVDs, I told him that he would have questions....many many questions....but don't ask me any of them, 'cos I don't have the answers and it would only serve to piss me off.

It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to make others as miserable as myself. That's why I convert folks to LOST. I shouldn't be the only soul writhing in confusion and wonderment!

There is a gentleman on the telly who has had extensive body modifications to turn himself into a part reptile, part human. Aunt Tudi is predictably flabbergasted and I am predictably in awe. Although I wouldn't go so far as Lizard Boy, I would undergo a couple of body mods. [livejournal.com profile] obie posted a link to some photos of someone who had gotten surgery to make his ears pointed. I would so do that. That's something I have always wanted, pointed ears and a tail. I probably wouldn't do the tail, but the ears? Hell yeah! If I ever have enough money to do that, I would be all over it. I'd probably get some permanent eyeliner as well. Eyeliner is probably my favourite makeup because it helps my eyes look much larger and darker. Having it permanently would be incredibly convenient.

Shmoop is a menace to Aunt Tudi. Because Aunt Tudi slips the beasties treats on the down low, Shmoop has it in her head that, whenever Aunt Tudi is in the kitchen, it's treat time, and she deploys her claws into Aunt Tudi's legs to express her bountiful anticipation. After doctoring Aunt Tudi's thigh with merthiolate, I advised her to cease the distribution of treats. The animals really don't need them and it only serves to encourage bad behaviour on Shmoop's part. Whether or not Aunt Tudi will comply with my requests is anybody's guess.

The Random

Oct. 21st, 2005 07:22 pm
tinhuviel: (Snarky Maul)
It's been a very slow day. Aunt Tudi has slept for the majority of the day and I took a killer nap myself. As mentioned in my previous post, nothing was really accomplished today, so Monday is going to feel more like a Monday for the first time in a very long time. Business, business, business.

A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story just came on. This movie is for me what Mommie Dearest is for [livejournal.com profile] green_goblin70. I'm horrified by it, yet I must watch it. After this, the sequel comes on. It's called Her Final Fury. I'll be here until 11 PM, wincing and fidgeting in response to the horror of it all.

Aunt Tudi took this picture of Shmoop and me all unconscious last night. This is our state every night: me on my back and Shmoop spread out on my abdomen and chest like warm kitty butter.

kitty spread )

I saw Rick yesterday. He invited Llew and me to his Hallowe'en party next weekend. I'm planning on going and may go as Sadako. This way, I can wear my nightgown and be all comfy. Of course, I'll need to shave my legs if I do this. If I don't, I'll be attending the party dressed as Sasquatch impersonating Sadako, and that would just be uncool. I suggested to Rick that he dress up like Darth Maul and then I would molest him. He said he'd have to have someone paint his face, that he couldn't do it himself. I volunteered. Of course, we were both just kidding. He mentioned he was planning on being a vampire. That would work, methinks. I'll be taking pictures. Lots of 'em.

Earlier today, [livejournal.com profile] clumsycake called, but it was during my nap so I think I said a couple of incoherent things to her, and then hung up. I tried to call her a little while ago, but the phone was busy. An apology is in order, methinks.

My visit to Llew last night was brief. He's still not feeling well, so we rescheduled for Saturday. I lent him my LOST DVDs, informing him that he would have a number of questions upon viewing the show, but don't ask me any of them, 'cos I don't know and it'll just piss me off. He asked me what it was all about and I told him that LOST as like The X-Files meets Gilligan's Island meets Land of the Lost in Hell. That peaked his interest considerably.

I am hellbent on going to Asheville one day next week. The colours on the Blue Ridge Parkway will be near peak by then. It's always nice to go back home and soak up the town's ambiance. Someday, I hope to move back home.
tinhuviel: (Mr. Tiscic)
Everyone is having a lie down except for me, because I was a lazy arse who didn't get up until 3 PM. It's relatively peaceful and quiet, except for BB Burdie, who has issues with shutting the fuck up.

My foul humour has mellowed a wee bit, so I risked coming back to LJ. So far, so good.

The Father Unit is hellbent on talking about The Past, which is really uncool, 'cos he gets all maudlin and apologetic and all I want to do is visit in peace. I told him this time that he really needs to live in the present and stop bringing all that bullshit up, 'cos he does it every time I'm around him for any length of time and it gets tedious. He said he didn't realise he did that and got even more apologetic. I swear, I'm gonna end up killing him in his sleep....if I can stay awake long enough to do the deed, that is.

Seriously though, he really needs to just let it all go. I haven't the patience for reliving and rehashing hoo-hah that does nothing but make people miserable. If you want to have a decent relationship with me, then try to do what BB can't and shut the fuck up!

I'm really missing the beasties today. My Shmoop is surely feeling abandoned by now. This is the longest she's been away from me since 5 weeks of age. Poor bebbeh. I squeeze her from afar.

It looks like we'll be heading home on Saturday, so we'll have enough time to get the house in order before the beasties return on Monday. I'll be giving them their last flea treatment upon their return home. I think flea season is pretty much over with in our area.

It's supposed to be cloudy and rainy tomorrow: a perfect day to visit the beach! I don't like hot sunny days on the beach. I want my beach days to be cloudy, cool, windy, and rainy, preferably with a rocky cliff in my line of site and maybe some dramatic music from a 1950s British drama. Yeah. I'm hoping that the beach will be abandoned by the sun worshippers and left barren for folks like me, of which I doubt there are very many around right now. It will be glorious, of that I have no doubt. Oh, and I will be taking pictures.

Right now, I can't get my mind off Snakes on a Plane. That's the coolest movie title EVAR. Samuel L. just continues to rise in levels of coolness.

Maybe I need to go be a little social now. I hear stirrings in the other room. It may be time to let BB out of his roost. Since he's decided that I'm Good People, BB has decided to sit on my finger and head and make all manner of noises. I've been accepted into his flock of one. Perhaps I can teach him some rude phrases before heading home. Bwaaahahahah!

(LOST in less than 2 hours...)
tinhuviel: (Spork)


I really must have one of these. It's the greatest thing since The Spork!

February 2019

M T W T F S S
     123
45678910
11121314151617
181920 21222324
25262728   

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Popular

Page generated Jul. 29th, 2025 06:20 am